Mindfulness In Eating

I was talking with one of my Catholic co-workers on Ash Wednesday, discussing the symbolism of ashes and Lent in general. We came to an agreement that the whole thing is mainly symbolic, focusing on the concepts of sacrifice and mindfulness.

(As a side note, she is one of a very few believers with whom I feel I can discuss religious topics. We respect one another’s beliefs — or lack thereof — and don’t proselytize, but actually discuss concepts, their meaning, their history, their significance. It’s kind of refreshing, especially after being bombarded by the standard Facebook fuckery about I’m Right And You’re Wrong And Look At This Meme That Says So. But I digress.)

Thinking about mindfulness in eating for religious purposes — avoiding meat on Fridays during Lent and on Ash Wednesday, or during the daylight hours of Ramadan — led me to thinking about mindfulness in eating to lose weight. I’ve been having a really hard time not living in the moment, and instead focusing on eating right overall and staying on Plan.

What if I devote a single day to mindful eating? In a very secular and non-woo-woo way, what if I dedicate the day to myself, and my son, and my husband, and the versions of us in the future that will appreciate me having been good to myself? Focusing on preparing and eating my food and not doing anything else while I prepare and eat said food?

It can be a mindfulness practice, similar to the Zen practice of Oryoki, but devoted and dedicated to my health. Maybe I can spend some time thinking about how much I’ll appreciate what I’m doing for myself in the future, rather than just blindly feeding my face because I want to.

I’ve also been having trouble with eating after Connor goes to bed. So, I developed a sort of ceremonial closing of the kitchen: fill the dishwasher, make tea, clean up, leave the kitchen. I spend some time winding down — sometimes at the kitchen table, sometimes elsewhere — drinking my tea, and eating a Biscoff cookie as a final treat. I read a magazine or a book, or I write in my Techo, or I blog, and I find myself not pining after a fourth meal like I had before. I also find myself getting up to bed earlier, which I’ve needed to do for a long time now.

It’s kind of ironic, though, that those of us who have a tumultuous relationship with food can only resolve that relationship by thinking more about food, not less.

Things that will make me happy today: ordering seeds, planning my herb/veggie garden, and scheduling a spring #gardening staycation or two.

Also, we live in the future. Hymn earworm from previous tweet is available on LDS.org. #exmormon http://t.co/mSbh8c2lMJ

B-xskfeWoAAyssl

One weird thing about being an #exmormon is when I wake up with a random hymn earworm. “Do what is right / The day-dawn is breaking…”

I think I just found Jim Henson (and maybe Frank Oz) in The Sesame Street Library Vol. 10. instagram.com/p/zjAcgFNU-7/

The content on blogs I’ve linked to in the past 14 years is mostly gone. // The problem of link rot and data loss: poststatus.com/link-rot/

February Weigh-In

I can’t figure out “Why did I eat that” if I don’t track what I ate.

Granted, I only skipped tracking three days in a row at the most, but still. That’s a big gap for me.

I can tell you why I didn’t track for that particular stretch of three days, though. I didn’t want to know, and I was too lazy to look things up. Thai, pizza, sushi (which is not really that “bad,” Points-wise), and other indulgences made up those three days.

That half a week of going off the wagon set me back a week of weight loss. Two weeks, technically, since I gained back what I’d lost the previous week. When I’m losing as slowly as I am, I really can’t afford to have much backsliding at all. Not if I want to lose 1.3 pounds per month to reach my Goal Weight before Thanksgiving 2015.

Even when I got back on a tracking streak, though, that didn’t necessarily mean I went back on-Plan.

Why Did I Eat That?

That said, though, people have said that it looks like I’m losing more weight. They say I look thinner overall, especially in the face — but I’m the same weight I’ve been since October. Well, no, that’s a lie. I’ve actually put on a few pounds since my low weight in October. Hell, I’ve put on a few pounds just this month. I do not like this trend. It’s time for it to stop.

 

Non-Scale Failwhale:

  • I packed lunch, but wasn’t excited with what I had. Was thinking about the chicken cordon bleu wrap with macaroni salad that’s usually in stock on the 6th floor. Went to the 6th floor, but the chicken cordon bleu wrap they had was packed with potato chips instead… and there was lasagna to be had. So I had that, instead.
  • Another day, another lunch — this time, a fancy salad. I stopped by the 6th floor to pick up something small to go with — a wrap, maybe, or some warm chicken and craisins to top my salad — and left with a large serving of macaroni and cheese along with a cajun chicken caesar wrap with macaroni salad.

Lessons learned this month:

  • Eating after Connor goes to bed is not a good idea, ever.
  • If I bring a lunch to work, that lunch is what I eat. That’s it.

 

Normally, I would say that living in the moment is the best thing.

However.

I apparently need to NOT live in the moment when it comes to food choices. I need to make my decisions well in advance, leaving nothing to a whim. The 6th floor, with its vending machines and cafeteria line, will be strictly verboten for me for the next month. I’ll be looking through recipe books and cards, prepping food in advance and making meals that I’ll be happy to eat, in both nutrition and general satisfaction (taste, comfort-food factor, amount, etc.).

If I’m going to reach Goal by Thanksgiving of this year, I need to apply myself NOW. That 1⅓ pound per month mini-goal has already crept up to 1¾ pounds per month, and may start becoming much less reasonable and attainable if I’m not careful.

February has been the month of #weightwatchers fail. March can only get better. From the sound of things in this mtg, though, I’m not alone.