Chase Bank, with whom I have two credit cards, calls me at least once a month to shill me the latest payment protection plan they’ve concocted. As I am a client of theirs, the Do Not Call List does not apply, unfortunately. Usually I am relatively polite and jump in as soon as I can to tell them I’m not interested. Sometimes I let them finish their spiel and can only say ‘no, thank you’ once they get to the Verify Your Name And Address portion of the show.

But, by God, if I say no twice, and they still keep trying, they get fucking hung up on. I’m sure the nice woman with the Indian accent is just doing her job (and she really is pleasant to listen to), but I can barely speak as it is, thanks to my cold. Don’t make me break my foot off in your ass. Over the phone.