Things That Make Me Depressed

When I realize I’m neglecting a given website and think to myself (way in advance), “Gee, once I’m done redesigning this website, I should really go spruce up that other one.”

Then, right before I launch the redesigned website, and am almost ready to think about the neglected website, someone e-mails the mailing list related to said neglected site and says, “Hey. Why isn’t this site ever updated?” Then I feel like a schmuck, and publicly apologize for sucking, and share my plans for updating the neglected site. Other list members express their appreciation. I feel better about myself.

Then the person (I hesitate to call the person The Complainant) e-mails the list again, just to say that they didn’t mean to start a fight, but really, why is the webmistress giving lame excuses for neglecting the site?

Which, of course, puts me into instant “fuck you” defensive mode, partnered with an unnecessary depression. Not a good way to get motivated to finish the LSM site.

Sometimes I think I should just let someone else take it over. Sure, the entire website was my own idea back in the day (1996), and yeah, that was what made me learn HTML in the first place… but maybe it’s time for someone else to take over.

Maybe I will.

I’ll give it some thought.

Update, 10:05pm: I told the mailing list of my poor neglected site to give me six weeks in which to turn the site around. If they’re not satisfied with the site by Veterans’ Day, I will abdicate in favor of a new webmaster of their choosing.

Still depressed. Still haven’t done any work on the LSM site tonight. Still has to go live either tomorrow night or Saturday morning.

I hate being depressed when I shouldn’t be. I’m going to bed.

3 thoughts on Things That Make Me Depressed

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  1. Let me guess — the whiner fancies him/herself a web designer and believes that s/he could do a better job. Especially since they can just take the website you put so much work into and add one or two things and say “look what I made.” And the whiner thinks that by bitching about it on a message board they are going to stage some sort of palace ku, thereby taking over the website and making him/herself feel important. Perhaps you should write a post to remind everyone that you conceived of and implemented their precious website all by your little self and, while you may not be as good about updating as you’d like, you are doing it for free after all. You, being a competent and professional web designer, actually having paying gigs that take up your time. The free websites that you do out of the goodness of your heart will just have to wait until you get to them and everyone should be thankful that they actually have a professional to run it for them instead of an amateur that just plays around on the internet. That’s what I would tell them if I were posting there.

  2. Actually… um… LSM isn’t paying me. I was appointed by the board of directors, though, and am an official Committee Chair (and soon-to-be board member at-large).

    The other site I’ve been neglecting is just something I decided to do on my own, though, so I guess it’s more of a… public service?

  3. I completely understand the “volunteer” web work. In my experience those sites always end up being the most demanding. You shouldn’t feel depressed, tho, you do some kick-ass work and those people should consider themselves lucky to have you.