It’s really pathetic on some level that I can allow one person’s morning outburst to ruin my mood for the rest of the day.
So one person in my department isn’t satisfied with the database that James and I have created. So she can be blunt sometimes. That’s no reason for me to let myself get all funky and depressed.
I swung from pissed to defeated to ambivalent and back all day long. Now I’m just vaguely frustrated and generally depressed. Her comments about the inefficiency and stupidity of the database we’ve worked so hard to create really affected me. James, too.
I’d already resigned myself to the fact that this is essentially a special project, not a promotion of any kind. Once we’re done whoring ourselves out to all the other departments — say, around Christmastime — I’m sure we’ll be restored to our old responsibilities, and still have to manage to find time to fix the databases when they go awry.
I’ve been watching TV all evening, which is very uncharacteristic of me. It’s a good thing we don’t have any sweets in the house, or they’d be gone by now. (I’m still trying to think up something creative that doesn’t require baking.) This is yet another case of something small and stupid setting me off into a general depression that no longer has anything to do with the initial cause.
I feel so fragile and unstable sometimes.