The story thus far: James and I have been developing and administering Access databases for Loan Servicing for about six months now. Over a month ago, we had thought our “promotion” was finalized — a step up from Associate Operations II to Senior Operations Associate, with a very slim chance of a pay increase. Still nothing.
Tomorrow, Loan Corrections is having a pizza party / potluck for three members of our department who are moving to different jobs. After already having one person move to Cleveland and having one currently on maternity leave, this shorts our manpower by an insane amount. So, James and I have been instructed by management to take on normal Loan Corrections tasks effective Monday and continuing through September, until the department is fully staffed again. We’re literally in the middle of implementing one department’s database, and are having to leave it half-finished as we go back to completing loan changes and double-checking others’ work for four weeks.
We’re willing to Take One For The Team. We can’t say we’re happy about it, but we’ll do it.
We’ve made it clear to our new supervisor that we want to stay with Sky long-term, but that we currently feel as if management is coming close to taking undue advantage of our “value-added” to the department. I can appreciate management wanting to use the resources at their disposal (namely, James and myself), but there comes a point when using becomes USING. According to my online research, as a database admin — or even as an entry-level programmer — I should be making literally TWICE the amount I currently pull in. At least.
James needs the cash more than I do. I don’t really need the cash. We’re not hurting for money, although it can never hurt to save for future expenses (mainly kid-related… or travel-related). And I’m sure that, once we have kids, our expenses will skyrocket OMG.
I’m kind of torn about how I feel about getting slighted on this. I mean, I enjoy what I’m doing. I’m getting awesome experience. I’m using my brain. I’m applying my new coding knowledge to other aspects of my life, like the Lakeshoremen website. But…
I don’t know what it is that would make me satisfied. I’m getting to do what I want, for the most part. Now I want to get paid properly for what I do. Once I get paid more, am I going to think I deserve an actual office (shared with James, of course)? Our own department? A third database helper? And why will I never be satisfied with the fact that I managed to get a decent gig from just coasting along at my stupid bank job and crossing paths with an awesome opportunity, rather than seeking out an opportunity on my own? Is this a problem of self-worth and self-confidence, or just me continually bitching?
Sometimes I think I’m just wired for low self-esteem. I don’t understand why I can’t let myself be a kickass [insert hobby/job here], and just leave it at that.