Shopping Trip

I spent the normal amount of money for a clothes shopping trip, but came back with a lot fewer clothes, and nothing that was actually on my agenda. Sheryl talked me into a pair of jeans from Buckle, and I got two tops and a skirt from Torrid (which is no longer totally Hot Topic for Fat Chicks). Alas, I did not get any more work pants, as the ones I tried on were unbearably frumpy. I also didn’t get any more blouses for work, although I’m thinking that I’ll be fine on that front, once I unearth the cold-weather clothes.

I’m having mixed feelings toward my body right now. Don’t misunderstand: I’m still super geeked about dropping a size, and it’s awesome to be feeling bones in places where only a layer of fat existed before. And to be wearing a wedding ring two sizes smaller than my high school class ring. And to have been able to buy pants at a non-specialty store.

But.

Goddamn, I have a long way to go.

My new low-rise jeans reveal the same paunch that I see on other chicks and say, “Why is she wearing that in public? Doesn’t she know that’s too tight?” My more form-fitting shirts remind me that I most certainly do not yet have anything resembling a flat stomach. I feel like the frumpy girl who’s trying SO HARD to look stylish… and almost succeeding. But not quite.

I know, I know — I’ve lost over 60 pounds total. That’s nothing to sneeze at, as they say. But, Jesus Christ, when am I ever going to be done? How long do I have to consciously be eating to lose weight? When do I get to reap the final reward? When do I get to be a normal fucking human being, instead of feeling like the fat chick?

*does some calculations*

Well, shit.

According to my anal-retentive weight-plotting chart, if I keep losing like I have been for the past four months, I should be at my target weight by Valentine’s Day 2009. That makes me feel a lot better, and more focused. I’m almost halfway there!

Push through for another five months, and maybe I’ll have to buy myself a smaller size of too-expensive (but oh-so-stylish) Buckle jeans.

3 thoughts on Shopping Trip

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  1. Keep plugging away, you will get there. Great Job on all you have lost so far. I know from my own weight loss journey it is not easy to keep up for such a long time.

  2. Cross post to dietsquid!!

    Ask your WW leader for the “Long Way to Go” book, it’ll have some good tips.

    Don’t focus on the end of the road if it’s so far off, just worry about the next milestone. One milestone after another…

  3. x-post: check!

    Sometimes I feel bad for being unhappy with myself and my weight, after seeing some of the people in my meeting who will likely be losing weight for *years* before they reach their goal.

    I nearly forgot: five three pounds to my 10 percent milestone! w00t!