June Weigh-In: Kind of a Big Deal

After some thought, I finally figured out my next mini-goal reward: a pair of black slingbacks for work. I’d been wanting some work-appropriate black sandals, so once I reached my five-pound mini-goal, they were mine.

I’m not allowing myself to buy any more clothes until I hit my next five-pound mini-goal (or, as I thought of it until quite recently, Goal). I actually have several hundred dollars socked away in a savings account called “Goal 170″ that I opened a few years back, but now I’m confused about whether I should use it when I reach 170 or when I reach Goal — currently 160. As a reminder, I’m 5’10”.

(Mel, the director of my work’s Fitness Center, told me that she’s guessing 163 will be where I ultimately stabilize, and that I’d look unhealthy if I went much below that. We’ll see if she’s right! …Eventually.)

I’m teetering on the edge of the “normal” (aka “healthy”) weight range for my height. This is kind of a big deal for me, so I’ve been telling anyone who would give a shit — partially because, well, go me, but also to keep me accountable. I’m telling everyone that I’m a normal weight for the first time in my adult life, but that I still have fifteen pounds to lose before I’m where I want to be.

Yes, I know that everyone’s different… but the weight ranges and BMI calcs are based on statistical analysis of health issues at varying weights, so I’m perfectly OK with using those as overall goals for my own fitness journey. Like I told Mel, once I actually reach my target weight, then I’ll start focusing on things like body composition, body fat percentage, things like that. For now, I’m just totally stoked to be so close to my goal, and finally — finally! — feeling comfortable in my own skin. Mostly.

I’ve had some setbacks, which is to be expected. The week after I dipped into my “normal” range, I had a major weight jump, and that really punctured my pride, even though I knew why it happened (e.g. an ill-timed box of Mac and Cheese, oatmeal cookies from the vending machine, and generally eating too many Weekly Allowance Points throughout the week). The week after that big gain, I skipped tracking over the weekend for the first time in months. Somehow, though, even though I ate even more abysmally that week than the previous, I still lost over half of the previous week’s gain.

I’m hoping not to go down some sort of downward (upward?) spiral here. I made myself some guidelines after that first big gain week, and didn’t follow any of them. How is it that I got to this point, feeling and looking awesome, and I now stumble so hard?

NSVs:

  • Enjoyed a delightful evening snack of cheese and crackers (4 PPVs) instead of going on a binge.
  • On more than one occasion, I really, really wanted to eat after Connor went to bed, but I made a cup of tea in the Keurig instead.
  • A co-worker told me, “I look at you, Diana, and I am inspired!” So I invited her to come to a WW meeting with me. I’m looking forward to her taking me up on the invitation soon!
  • That same day, my boss told me, “You look great!” So, people are noticing, and I’m dressing the part.
  • The same co-worker to whom I volunteered my weight-loss amount last month saw me again and said, “You’re looking pretty thin there, lady!” This time, I shared with her that I’m within the “normal” range for my height for the first time ever, and we had a brief conversation about getting older and gaining weight and how hard it can be to take off again. Still ended kind of awkwardly, I think, but I’m trying.
  • Another co-worker told me, “You look great!” when I came to her cube to help her troubleshoot a work-related issue.
  • My next-door-cube neighbor read my blog last month (Hi, N! *waves*) and saw that I had commented on her calling me “thin,” so she’s been using “thin” synonyms, like “slim,” which is amusing to me.
  • Shopping my closet! “New” items I’ve worn: a hand-me-down WHBM pencil skirt from Stephanie and a cowl-neck Gap tee.

I’m too close to let myself screw this up now. When I eat healthy, I feel healthy. When I eat crap, I feel like crap. Like I said last month, wearing cute clothes is its own reward; so is feeling awesome.

Stay the course.

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