I know that I’m kind of a dinosaur for still having a personal blog. It’s my thing, though, even if it doesn’t get read as much as it did, say, ten years ago.
I found myself paging through my archives today, and I discovered a few interesting things that happened in years past around the autumn equinox.
Fourteen years ago today was when my blog officially began! I’d updated my own personal site with tidbits here and there, but September 22, 2002 was the first “real” blog entry.
Around that time, I was taking the cab to my job in the Sky Bank Lockbox department, where I would typically work a 12-hour day on Monday, an 8-hour day or less on Tuesday, then clock about nine to ten hours a day for the rest of the week. I had just graduated college the December prior, and was really, really missing the old college vibe (especially since the cab drove me past campus every morning on the way to work).
Thirteen years ago, Aaron and I had just started the Atkins Diet, and I’d lost 11 pounds in two weeks. That was the beginning of me actually giving a shit about my weight and my overall health.
Twelve years ago was when my Mom moved from Cleveland to Texas. My late step-Gary was from Texas, so they moved down there to be near his family. (In the end, they were very near his family — as in, living in their house with them.)
Nine years ago yesterday was the last day of work for most of the Loan Corrections department at Sky Bank. We all got laid off when Huntington bought Sky. That was possibly the best thing that ever happened to me, in terms of work and career development, because it forced me to stretch myself and get into a new industry.
Seven years ago, I’d been at my current job for nearly two years, I’d been on Weight Watchers for about five months and had lost over 10 pounds (beyond the 40 pounds I’d kept off from Atkins). At that particular moment in time, though, I was frustrated that my weight loss had plateaued.
I hadn’t realized how much my desire for weight loss over time has both defined me and revealed my inner nature. Just reading all these diet and exercise-related blog entries through the years… my readers/friends/family had to be rolling their eyes most of the time, seriously.
Five years ago today, I got outside to take my first walk outdoors since giving birth three weeks prior. My Mom was visiting from Texas. Aaron had gone back to work after a two-week paternity leave. And I’d somehow lost all but about five pounds of the baby weight.
Two years ago was when the trumpet vine first made itself known. We’d lived in our current house for a year and a half already, but it had just been another weed along the front fence — until I tried to get rid of it, and it made me swell up like a pufferfish.
It’s an appropriate memory to end on, as I sit here trying in vain not to scratch the remaining few patches of poison ivy rash that I had originally attributed to trumpet creeper.
* * * * *
While I was paging through my old memories, I was trying to piece together some sort of narrative, some thread to tie this whole mess together, some light in which to cast myself as either a dynamic character in my own life or not.
In general, I am just not a happy person. I’m introspective, skeptical, but not necessarily pragmatic or realistic. I don’t want to put in the hard work, whether it’s for my career or for my health — but when I finally do, the results are so rewarding. I like to make stuff: photography, fiction and non-fiction, audio/video editing, websites. Maybe that’s why I jive with my current job creating reports and dashboards so well: it allows me the problem-solving of a tech job with the visual creativity that I crave.
Another thing I noticed — and this is partly because my blog used to be on other platforms, including LiveJournal — is that back in the heyday of personal blogging, back when we all had a “blogroll” we’d check daily, I got so many comments from my friends. My Mom and my husband, sure, but also Sheryl and Amy and Beth and Jessica and Dan and… Romper Bomper Stomper Boo, tell me tell me tell me do, magic mirror, tell me today, did all my friends have fun at play?
I don’t necessarily blog because I need some kind of external validation; rather, I blog because I enjoy journaling and I like having a searchable and indexed record of my life. That said, sometimes living in the moment might be the best thing, rather than looking back at how things used to be.
I guess I’ve just been trying to reconnect with myself lately, and missing my connections with others. In this age of Facebook, I’m not really sure where I stand with my friends anymore, with few exceptions. I’m not sure who to try to reconnect with — but I know I need some more human interaction besides my five-year-old and my co-workers. I’m starting to feel jealous of others and their lifestyles (read: people without kids or people with kids and actual support systems), and that’s just not a healthy way to live.
Boy, this post sure turned rambly and introspective. Rockin’ the old-school blog tip tonight.