I’m 37! I’m Not Old!

This will be my mantra for the next 12 months.

Sometimes I feel old, though. Or at least older. Like, when I throw my back out exercising and have to go see the chiropractor to get myself fixed up. Or when I realize that birthdays aren’t really the exciting thing they used to be, despite birthday wishes from five companies, 31 Facebook friends, three Twitter followers, one IRL friend, my Mom, and my husband.

Or when I realize how many of my friends and contemporaries are divorced. Or how much of my and my husband’s family is dead.

But then I look at the perks of being older. Being more experienced. More level-headed. Knowing which fights to fight. Having perspective.

Sometimes I wonder how I missed out on some of the life lessons I was supposed to have learned by now, like how to get to work on time, and how to prioritize my home life as well as I do my work life, and all the other things I like to get down on myself about.

But then I realize that I’m still a work in progress, and I always will be.

I’m not old! I’m still learning.

Non-Resolutions Revisited

Back at the New Year, I resolved not to make an actual New Year’s Resolution. I did, however, decide to basically be good to myself. Do some things I’ve been needing to do. Be focused on the moment and on doing what is right. Basic stuff. So, since it’s the first of February, I thought this might be a good time to revisit those ideas and make sure I’m on the right track.

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No More Resolutions

Just some thoughts, and goals, and ideas.

First, my new mantra:

 

Other thoughts and goals for my 2013:

  • Be mindful. Mindful in what I eat, what I say, and what I do.
  • Write more. Post more blog entries. Get it all out.
  • Put the phone away. See also: Be Present.
  • Stay healthy. See a general practitioner about those weird scars and cysts. Keep up with the weight loss and fitness thing. Start meditating again.
  • Plan ahead. Get a will and trust in place. Clean and pack in preparation for moving to a new home. See also: Be Responsible.

No resolutions. No setting myself up for disappointment. Just some general ideas to consider.

The Thankful Project

Last year, there was one person I followed online who posted something she was thankful for every day in November. This year, I decided to jump onto that project myself — and found that everybody and their brother also decided to do the same thing. No matter — even though it’s apparently the “in” thing to do this year, I’m still committing to post a photo of something I’m thankful for every day in November:

Sun Mon Tues Wed Thurs Fri Sat
  1. I’m thankful for beautiful fall weather with blue skies and no rain.
  2. I’m thankful for the fitness center at my work.
  3. I’m thankful for date night with @schnuth sans toddler.
  4. I’m thankful to have a working washer and dryer in my home.
  5. I’m thankful that I have a good friend and fitness buddy in @relysh.
  6. I’m thankful for absentee voting. I cast my vote last week.
  7. I’m thankful for the love of my life: my husband, @schnuth.
  8. I’m thankful for storytime with my son.
  9. I’m thankful for my job.
  10. I’m thankful that we have such delicious Korean food so close to our house.
  11. I’m thankful to be financially able to consider upgrading to a new house.
  12. I’m thankful that my husband has a good sense of humor.
  13. I’m thankful for the changing seasons. Really, I am.
  14. I’m thankful that my son is happy and healthy.
  15. I’m thankful that I’ll have straight, healthy teeth before I turn 40.
  16. I’m thankful for my chiropractor, who keeps my extra vertebra in line (literally).
  17. I’m thankful that my son likes to go out to eat, and is well-behaved.
  18. I’m thankful for naptime.
  19. I’m thankful to be a homeowner.
  20. I’m thankful that I’m salaried and not hourly.
  21. I’m thankful for two extra vacation days, earned at my 5-year anniversary.
  22. I’m thankful for large and loving gatherings with @schnuth’s family.
  23. I’m thankful for lazy long weekends with @schnuth and son.
  24. I’m thankful that @schnuth is such a good Daddy to Connor.
  25. I’m thankful for my family, who taught me, “Remember who you are and where you come from.”
  26. I’m thankful for Mucinex D. Not thankful for this nasty cold, though.
  27. I’m thankful for communication, and that my toddler is picking up on sign language.
  28. I’m thankful to have reliable transportation.
  29. I’m thankful that I get to see @schnuth for a few minutes before he goes to work.
  30. I’m thankful for the Internet. (websurfing since ’94, webmistressing since ’96.)

I could have queued these up in advance, but I chose to think of something each day that resonated with me. Sometimes my thankfulness was the flip side of something I wasn’t thankful for — the first snowflakes of the season, for instance, or my painful braces — but the exercise of turning it around was part of the point of the Thankful Project.

There are so many other things I’m thankful for that I didn’t even touch upon. That was part of the project, too, though — coming to that realization.

Not Just A Duty, But A Privilege

I almost forgot that I’d gotten the summons for jury duty. Luckily, I found myself looking through some paperwork on my desk at home for something else entirely, and unearthed it in time to avoid inadvertent contempt of court.

Now, I’ve gotten these summons before. Call the number the evening before, hear the clerk read off which group numbers need to report to the jury assembly room, and realize with relief that I’m in the “all other group numbers, your service is complete” category.

Not this time.

I called on Sunday night for my Monday morning summons, and got the all clear. My service was for two days, though, so I had to call again on Monday night to check on Tuesday’s potential service — my instructions were to call at 11:15am to see if I’d be needed for a 1:30pm reporting time.

To paint a picture here: it’s been nuts at work. I took a brief three-day vacation at the end of last week, and came back to all sorts of issues with my two major projects. As far as deadlines are concerned, I really couldn’t afford this half-day of jury duty, much less any additional service beyond that. I had an 11am meeting, so I didn’t get to check my status until I got back right before lunch.

Group Numbers nine through 36 were to report. I was in Group Number 34.

So. Jury duty. I scarfed down my lunch, took my unused yoga clothes and my work laptop to the parking garage and stashed them in the trunk, then walked the ten minutes to the courthouse.

Did I mention that I work downtown?

I got there early on purpose, so I walked around the courthouse and snapped some pics.

Statue of President William McKinley

I finally went inside about a half hour before my reporting time, and was greeted with a security check-in, complete with metal detector for me and x-ray for my purse. The signage claimed that I’d have to leave my cell phone with security, but it must have been old signage, because all of us who passed through security and were milling around outside the Jury Assembly room all had our phones on us.

It surprises me sometimes how little some people pay attention to instructions. When we entered the Jury Assembly room, we were given a stack of colored papers and were told to read the green one. The green one gave instructions on how to turn your summons into a Juror nametag with the plastic sleeve they provided, and said what to do with the other paperwork. No problem! Nametag assembled and attached; I’m not re-donating my juror fee back to the cause, so no paperwork there; evaluation of the process is to be filled out and returned later; appropriate papers returned to basket at desk as instructed.

I realize now that many people were just waiting until we all filed out of the Jury Assembly room later on to return their paperwork, so they wouldn’t have to get up twice, but I’m pretty sure a lot of the jury candidates just didn’t read it or didn’t read it thoroughly.

At 1:30pm, to start our afternoon, we watched an orientation video. I wish I could find it online, because it started out with what seriously looked like the witch scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but much more somberly acted. The point was that, in medieval times, people were often tried by ordeal instead of by a jury of their peers. For instance, the accused might be bound and thrown into a body of water; if they floated, they were guilty.

Unfortunately, the video then moved on to much more boring stuff, like the difference between Municipal Court and Common Pleas Court, and became a review of Senior year Government class.

After the video came roll call — all 47 of us were present and accounted for. Then we all followed the bailiff upstairs to Courtroom 7, on the fourth floor, Judge McDonald presiding.

The next three hours were spent determining which of us would stay and which would go. We learned that the trial was a murder trial, and that drugs and firearms were involved. During Round One, anyone who felt that they might have reason to be excused was given the opportunity to speak to the judge and counsel privately in the judge’s chambers. My only concern was when we’d be released each day, since I have to be home in time to tag-team Aaron for Connor-watching. I was assured that each day would end between 4:30 and 5pm. So, back to the courtroom I went. Probably a dozen jurors escaped during Round One.

Round Two involved questioning by the prosecution, then by the defense attorney. This was the more interesting part of the process for me, as it gave me an insight into what an attorney’s job might really be like, and what the judicial process really entails. Twenty-some of the potential jurors were called to sit in the jury box — I was one of the dozen or so who remained in the back of the courtroom in case a juror was dismissed during the process and they had to fill an empty spot (which did happen for three people).

We got to hear the Prosecuting Attorney explain things like circumstantial vs. direct evidence, and hear his explanation of how “beyond a reasonable doubt” does not mean “beyond the shadow of a doubt.” We got to hear all about the occupations and affiliations of this interesting cross-section of society who had been called together to try this young gentleman (and, incidentally, only one juror was of his ethnicity — not sure how that qualifies as a jury of his peers). We got to watch about a dozen potential jurors go discuss their experiences with drug and alcohol use/abuse in chambers, in private, since the case involved narcotics.

Little things that I thought were interesting: the attorney used a large 11×17 piece of paper with sticky notes to identify each potential juror. Also, since the court uses a stenographer, each person had to be identified verbally for the record, which makes for a level of formality that isn’t seen much in daily life. (Think bank teller, or church.)

There were some jurors who seemed like very interesting people. I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to blab their life experiences all over my little piece of the internet, but I wish I could have gone and had lunch with a few of them: the insurance agent, the bus driver, the disabled veteran. Fascinating cross-section of society.

Finally, Round Three involved Counsel approaching the bench and muttering and pointing and removing sticky notes from the giant piece of paper one by one. That took about 20 minutes or so at the very end of the day. In the end, they had twelve jurors and one alternate; ironically enough, many of the people whom we all could tell did not want to be there got chosen to sit on the jury.

They let us out at 5:00 exactly. I wished I could have had more time to just wander around the courthouse and snap some photos and admire the architecture. I’d noticed as we were getting ready to enter Courtroom 7 that there was wiring that wasn’t inside the walls of the courthouse, but running atop the architectural elements inside the atrium areas. There were also some great Ionic columns and other architectural details I would have loved to photograph. As it was, I did get a shot of the stained glass windows and an explanation of where the name of Lucas County comes from:

Robert Lucas

Texted Aaron, hoofed it to my parking garage, and made it home just 20 minutes later than usual. And that was my half-day at jury duty.

I’d say it wasn’t a half-day wasted, either. I found the whole process really fascinating, and if I hadn’t been so uptight about getting home to Aaron and Connor in the evenings, I really wouldn’t have minded serving on the jury.

I’ll be watching the local news on Friday evening to see how this young man fares at his trial. Innocent until proven guilty, guys.

Outfit of the Day

It’s rare, unfortunately, that I’m proud of an outfit I put together. Usually, especially on the weekends, I’ll pair a witty graphic tee with jeans and a hoodie and call myself properly dressed.

Yesterday, though, I was going to a baby shower and wanted to look appropriately dressy-cute while still adding a bit of casual oddness.

boyfriend cardigan from J. Jill, size L
Mr. Spork girly tee from Woot, size XL
BGC pencil skirt from the thrift store, size 18/20
Xhilaration charcoal tights from Target, size 1X/2X
shoes by Self Esteem, size 10

Slacking

Haven’t been blogging much lately; can’t seem to find any oomph after I get home from work. So, here I am, enjoying a skinny skinny mocha mocha in a local coffee franchise, tapping out an update on my iPhone.

Come to think of it, I haven’t really had the oomph for much of anything lately. I wasn’t too upset yesterday evening when the car wouldn’t start, because I wasn’t really into picking up my film and scanning it to post for Photo Thursday, anyway. I haven’t gone running for weeks because I’ve had it with the frigid temps, but I haven’t been working out indoors, either. Seems like all I want to do after work is make dinner and curl up in the recliner to watch PBS or Travel Channel or Food Network. I don’t even turn on my computer anymore; if I can’t do it on my iPhone, it’s too much work, anyway.

I’m really hoping that the upcoming above-freezing temps will help break me out of this funk. I know that the Valentine’s Day flowers Aaron sent to my work today added a glimmer of unsuck, for sure. Perhaps some Valentine’s Weekend sushi (I made reservations! I’m so grown-up!) will continue the trend…

The Party Don’t Stop

I favorited this video on YouTube back on June 22nd, and I’ll be genuinely surprised if any of my readership hasn’t already seen this. But it’s been stuck in my head all day, so much so that I watched it twice on my iPhone over the course of the day, and once again on my PC just now.

The song is catchy, I’m embarrassed to admit, but it’s even more so with Scotty and Uhura and Bones and the gang hamming it up.

On a serious, technical note, though, the editing on this is fantastic. Love the synchronization to the music and the selection of oddly appropriate clips. Some bits are barely a second of exquisite facial expressions or reactions that really work well with the song.

Memories Both Real And Imaginary

I’ve been cleaning my desk at home — which is no easy task, let me tell you — and I’ve run across a veritable shitload of old to-do lists and notes I wrote years ago. See, back in the dark ages, before Twitter and iGoogle (aka the personalized Google homepage), I would write my random thoughts on pieces of scrap paper I kept by my desk (ostensibly for note-taking during phone calls).

One thing I found funny was how driven I was to write down bizarre dreams that I remembered. I found pages upon pages of scrap paper covered front and back with detailed descriptions of my brain’s nightly wanderings, as if I thought they held importance. Now, a few years later, I glance at them, recognize them, maybe remember them vaguely, then toss the papers in the trash.

I’m not nearly as driven to record my dreams as I used to be. Last night or the night before, though, I woke up from dreaming all tense, heart pounding — those are the kind of dreams that I’m inclined to record, just because they obviously touched some innate fear of mine that I might want to look deeper into.

The dream I’m thinking of started out as me and Aaron having just moved from our house into an apartment on the second or third floor of a building. I remember this because I was photographing a local parade, and kept forgetting things at home, necessitating multiple runs up a very long flight of stairs. At one point, I realized I’d left my camera on the front step of our apartment, ran back to get it, and noticed (though not right away) that the front lens element was cracked. Which, in true dream-world fashion, quickly became pretty much obliterated. Aaron and I then both ran up the stairs to find that our apartment had been broken into, our big-screen TV and gaming consoles and furniture all gone… and I could hear the culprits still in the bedroom, gathering more loot. In the dream, it seemed reasonable to me that a.) they must have figured out all the stuff we had by looking through the photos on my camera, and b.) I should react by yelling frantically and alerting the thieves to our presence.

This could go so many ways: privacy concerns (I’m all over the internets, of my own volition), excessive love of “stuff”, or any number of more detailed analyses. There were, of course, more details in the dream, but the final scene was what stuck in my head when I woke.

The brain is a funny thing. Deciding whether it’s just blowing off steam or trying to make sense of its own inner thoughts can be either immensely helpful or immensely pointless.

Thrift Saturday

Weekends in Toledo can be a little, shall we say… repetitive. Luckily, since our chosen distraction of late is thrifting and hitting garage sales, at least the results of our haul will change from weekend to weekend.

At our first stop, the Savers just off of Secor, I picked up a pinstriped miniskirt for $5.99. Not sure why I’ve been wanting to rock the miniskirts lately, especially since I feel so uncomfortable when I try to wear them in public (“OMG, my butt is right there!“), but I keep buying them, anyway. At the register, we had a conversation with the cashier about my Pixies shirt and how the cashier loved listening to Pandora. Unexpected, but cool.

While we were in the neighborhood, we hit the Allied Record Exchange, but didn’t really find anything. Since I still have stacks of $1 CDs at home from previous trips, I didn’t scour the budget CDs like I usually do, though. No video games or guides jumped out at Aaron, either, unfortunately. I managed to remember enough Japanese to read the spine of Shenmue for Aaron, which was fun. (Him: “There’s an import Dreamcast game down there! Wonder what it is…” Me (bending down and pausing): “Sh… eh… n… Shenmue!” Him: “Oh, yeah, that was here last time.”)

We also ran past the fairly-recently-updated Goodwill on Sylvania, but also had no luck. Usually we find something there — a book, or a vintage video game, or a camera — but not this time.

It wasn’t exactly thrift, but we checked out the new Health Foods by Claudia at Secor and Sylvania, too. Picked up some whole wheat, fat-free fig cookies and a couple boxes of No-Pudge Fudge Brownie Mix. I love that brownie mix (just add fat-free yogurt!), and Claudia’s has been the only place we can find it locally. Aaron especially misses the beer and wine section they had at their old store — we got a bottle of mead on sale there once, and it was surprisingly good.

Today’s weather was sticky and humid and overcast, so there weren’t very many garage sales going on. (We also got a slightly late start for garage saling.) So, the only one we managed to hit was a basement sale:

Yard In Basement

The only potential item of interest was a telescope for $15, but one leg of its tripod was broken (“A little super glue and it’s good as new!”) and it was missing the bolt to mount it to the tripod. If not for that, I might have picked it up, as it also had software to connect to your laptop and take digital photos.

Ikkyu-sanAfter dinner, we made one final stop past the Savers on Reynolds and Heatherdowns. We did end up buying a pullover sweater and a summer dress for me, a t-shirt for Aaron (advertising the Testicle Festival in a small town in central Ohio), and an Agfa Isoflash Rapid camera that apparently takes film cartridges that are no longer manufactured.

What we didn’t end up buying were these VHS tapes of Ikkyu-san, an anime by the Toei Animation Studios from the ’70s. These particular tapes were of the Chinese variety, but the anime was apparently quite popular across Asia.

What we also didn’t end up buying were these super-stylish jackets:

Nice jackets!

Ironically enough, at the register, the cashier complimented me on my Pixies shirt, and we established that she knows the cashier at the other Savers who also liked my Pixies shirt. We also established that she knows a distant cousin of Aaron’s who happens to have the same given name as his brother, which consistently causes confusion around town (“Are you so-and-so’s brother? I went to school with him! Oh, your brother graduated in the ’90s? Maybe not…”).

So, all in all, a fun thrift day, if not a particularly bountiful one.