Friday Morning

It’s a morning of self-care, now that I think about it. After I dropped Connor off at school, I drove to the salon to get my hair cut. After that, I had a little time to kill before having to be at my next appointment, so I opted to hang out here at Starbucks for a half hour instead of going home.

I haven’t had the occasion to sit at the laptop bar at a Starbucks, even though my local Bux has had one for years. It’s kinda super convenient that I can sit here and blog using my iPhone and my Bluetooth keyboard — positioned at a perfectly ergonomic height, by the way — while my Apple Watch is plugged in to charge via the USB port by my right elbow.

In a few minutes, I’ll head down the road to my next appointment: a New Patient Visit with a psychiatrist who can prescribe my ADHD meds. My GP has been the prescriber for all the brain meds I’ve tried over the years, but he confirmed at our last med check that he’ll be retiring within a year or two. I figured I’d rather transfer ownership of my prescriptions to a mental health professional so I’m not left scrambling at the last minute. Plus, while I do love my doctor, and he seems to be up to date on the latest pharmaceuticals, I suspect it would be in my best interest to have my brain meds prescribed by a brain expert.

Hopefully I haven’t spent too long tickety-tapping here — time to wrap things up and head five minutes down the road to meet my new psychiatrist.

Today’s Project: The Workbench

For once, I managed to take a Before picture to contrast with the After.

I had the itch to organize this afternoon, but couldn’t decide on a direction, so I gave Aaron a few options of things I’d been thinking of tackling. Of the tasks I listed, he chose the workbench in the garage.

Instead of my usual triage method — group like objects together, throw away the garbage, and collect the stuff I’ll need to put someplace else later — I worked from one end of the bench to the other, putting each item where it belonged as I came to it.

It took a couple of hours and multiple listens of the entirety of Wish (The Cure, 1992), but it got done, and done right.

Twitter Update: Unfocused

Sitting in my home office, staring at my laptop, wondering why it’s so hard to get focused this morning.

Realized I didn’t take my #ADHD meds yet. Glad this happened on a Work From Home day and not an In-Office day!

Now to keep myself on track until my meds kick in…

Selected to Begin Training

The email arrived in my inbox this afternoon, about five hours after I sent a message explaining Connor’s recent absence from the dojo.

I received the email in duplicate: once for Connor, and once for myself. It read, “We are excited to announce that you are invited to participate in Black Belt Testing this fall!” Attached was a document (which, had we been present at class this week, we would also have received in hard copy) detailing the upcoming mandatory meetings and test dates.

I don’t know how I feel about this.

Lately, I haven’t been in the best headspace, generally speaking. I’ve had that behind-the-eight-ball feeling for quite some time now, like I can’t summon enough cares to give about much of anything. The mind-body connection is real, and I’m getting a definite chicken-and-egg downward-spiral vibe.

I’m currently carrying some thirty pounds of fat that I DO NOT WANT, and my new nutritionist is telling me to reject “diet culture” and instead learn to listen to my body. —I don’t know if I can trust my body to know what it really needs, nutritionally speaking, especially since my brain has a dopamine problem (i.e. ADHD).

I’m not confident in my ability to meet the fitness requirements of the upcoming black belt testing — so much so that I hesitate to even write down the Black Best Testing dates on the calendar. Granted, I have a personalized strength training program at the Fitness Center at my work centered specifically on my black belt fitness requirements, so it’s not like I’m not working toward my goal… but I’m still dubious. It’s not a for-sure thing in my mind that I’ll be able to complete 40 push-ups, a two-minute forearm plank, or 1,000 jumping jacks, along with the other calisthenic requirements — not even considering the actual curriculum, which I think I do have a pretty good grasp on.

I’ll keep showing up, putting in the work, and pushing forward like I always do. Maybe I’ll surprise myself.