I’ve heard a theory about friendships. I forget where I initially heard it, but it basically says that all friendships happen for a reason. Not in the sense of Fate or God, but in the sense that you and your friend are drawn together at a given point in both your lives for some interpersonal reason. Maybe your need to loosen up leads you to be friends with a nutty kind of gal. Maybe you and/or the other person can’t seem to find anyone else willing to befriend you. Maybe you’re drawn to someone with a common interest. Or maybe your individual personalities at that point in time just complement one another perfectly.
In each of these cases, the friendship can either grow to a dimension beyond the initial reason why you got together, or you can simply “grow out” of the friendship. In the latter case, the friendship isn’t (or shouldn’t be) cheapened or considered less meaningful than the longer-term ones; after all, it was what you both needed at the time. People grow and change, as do relationships, and you can’t expect that things will always be the same. Or that you would want them to be.
I know that some of my readership (all four or five of you; I can hear you breathing) is going through the same phase as I am: either growing out of friendships and acquaintanceships, or realizing that the relationship was over long ago and you didn’t even notice or care. Some old friends I try to maintain contact with, but then say to myself, “I don’t know you anymore.” Some friends try to keep touch with me, and I wish they’d go away, but I don’t dare burn bridges. And some friends just don’t answer me back anymore…
I’ve never had very many good friends at once, though. The fact that I currently have several people I feel I could confide in if necessary (or who could confide in me) is as much a blessing as an agnostic can have in her life. 🙂 So, thanks, guys. Even though Amy and Aaron will always be my two best friends (I’m not stepping on any toes here; you all knew that), I love all you guys.
In the most platonic way possible.