Honing My Journaling Skillz

I’ve been bringing a spiral-bound sketch notebook to work in my purse, so that if I opt not to read my book, or if I have a brainstorm, I can sit in the breakroom or outside at the picnic table and write. I have yet to decide whether it’s had sort of the William Gibson blogging vs. writing effect:

I?ve found blogging to be a low-impact activity, mildly narcotic and mostly quite convivial, but the thing I?ve most enjoyed about it is how it never fails to underline the fact that if I?m doing this I?m definitely not writing a novel ? that is, if I?m still blogging, I?m definitely still on vacation. I?ve always known, somehow, that it would get in the way of writing fiction, and that I wouldn?t want to be trying to do both at once. The image that comes most readily to mind is that of a kettle failing to boil because the lid?s been left off.

Or, perhaps, my daily longhand journaling has helped me focus my thoughts and write more coherent entries—like practicing for a performance. I find that I write things there that I really couldn’t write here: naming names, for instance, or talking about my poop cramps, or just generally complaining about how tired or bored I am during the day. These things may or may not be interesting even to my closest friends, and may or may not get me into trouble if the wrong people read them.

*flipping through recent writing*

OK, here’s a sample of today’s longhand journal entry:

17 September 2004 | 10:33am
Sky Bank Arrowhead Service Center Break Room

I’m in a particularly foul mood today, and I’m not sure why. I know I’m tired, and part of me resents being here when a third of the department is off today. I can tell I’m still unreasonably pissed about [work event deleted]—but that was two days ago. I should be over it by now. I’m also kinda hungry, and munching on my sugar-free wafers isn’t doing much to help that. And I’m pissed off at myself for being ignorant about things, and having to ask questions in the first place. Which is asinine—how am I to know things I just don’t know? I have to ask to learn. I still hate having to bug people—because I know I am.

In general daily news, I still haven’t gotten an e-mail about my lomo photos from Snapfish, and I still haven’t gotten my gift certificate e-mail from Sky. *tired sneer*