Is it wrong for me to want my male friends to find me attractive, even though I’m married?
I mean, it’s not like I would ever actually *do* anything with any of them, even given the chance. Hell, I can’t even fantasize about doing the nasty with anyone but Aaron. Still, though, a part of me would like to know that I’ve still “got it”—not like I ever had very much of “it” in the first place. At the height of my boyfriend / make-out-buddy phase in college, I met every single one of the guys I dated on IRC. On internet relay chat, cuteness or hotness isn’t so much a factor as desperation and a sense of humor, I think.
I guess I’m just realizing that I’m getting to the age where, if I don’t make my body look all svelte and sexy NOW, I’m not going to get the chance in the future. I get a few more prime years, then if I’m not careful, it can be all downhill. I may never have another chance to make anyone think I’m sexy. (Apart from Aaron, that is. But he thought I was sexy when I was 250 pounds, supposedly. Not sure how that works.)
Anyway, I guess I’m just feeling weird about wanting to be all sexy-looking to other guys. Someday. Is that wrong, or just human?