I read blogs because I miss having friends to hang out with.
Granted, I enjoy having time to myself in the evenings, but I mislike having no options for socialization at all. That’s why I spend all my time on the computer, trying desperately to feel connected. I can read accounts of my faraway friends and feel like I’m still a part of their lives. Of course, most of my friends have stopped posting regularly to their blogs, and some of them never did in the first place.
Sure, I launch up AIM maybe twice a month, and I see my friends logged in every now and then. But part of me wants *them* to take the initiative and contact *me*, instead of me feeling like I’m interrupting some important conversation they’re probably having with someone else.
I miss living in a neighborhood where I could walk to the local coffeeshop if I were feeling down, and I could get hyped on caffeine and sugar and be in a funky, depressed, hyperalert, counterculture mood all alone. I also miss having Amy around to hang out with. I also miss having the option to just call someone and ask, “What are you doing? Want to come over?” I miss that last year of school, after Amy graduated and I thought I’d be hopelessly antisocial — but, instead, I ended up hanging out with Beth and Donna and Timmay and Sheryl, though rarely in combination.
Is this what being a grown-up is all about? Spending evenings alone, thinking about The Good Old Days™?
If it is… fuck thirty.