Being Judgemental

I’m the kind of person who, as a general rule, doesn’t have very many enemies. There aren’t very many people who all-out hate my guts, and when I come across a person like that, I don’t really know how to react. I’d like to think that my lack of enemies is a reflection on my lack of judgement on other people. Or, possibly, my non-confrontational and slightly wishy-washy nature. Either way, I’ll take it.

When I do find myself passing judgement on someone, it bothers me on some level. I’m having that experience now.

There’s someone on whom I have frequent occasion to eavesdrop — not on purpose, I swear — but with whom I don’t generally interact. I’ve heard about this person’s personal, domestic troubles, and they’ve come straight from this person’s mouth, even though this person — all right, “he” — even though he wasn’t talking to me directly. I’ve heard about how his wife has treated him, and how he has treated his wife in turn.

Honestly, without going into any sort of detail, I don’t understand either of them. I don’t approve of what she did to him and to their relationship, but I also don’t agree with how he responded. And, honestly, I’m really trying not to pass judgement on the both of them, but it’s very difficult. I’ve never been in quite that situation, so I have no right to say what I think is a valid and reasonable reaction, and what I think is “wrong.”

I keep trying to validate my inner reaction, telling myself that it’s perfectly fine to form opinions about a situation, assuming that I don’t let it color my opinion of him as a person. Thing is, I’m really starting to think of him as an asshole, just from his retellings and reactions to what’s going on in his life. I mean, damn, he’s having a shitty time of it, especially around the holidays and all, but…

It bothers me that I’m spending so much of my own time thinking about someone else’s business. It also bothers me that, somehow, sometime in the future, either a complete stranger or maybe even the person I’m talking about will find this, and comment about what a shallow bitch I am.

I’m not good with making enemies.

2 thoughts on Being Judgemental

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  1. Wow, I don’t think I am even going to wade into this one. This is one of me recent battles. To be less judgemental–to weigh the facts before passing the sentence.
    Certainly have a good page in a book somewhere about all this. In this case when the person makes it obvious that they aren’t trying to hide their story and if that happens to lodge itself into our ear canal…what are we to do?

  2. I am trying not to pass judgement on people either. My sister in law is pregnant, and she spent the first 2 months of her pregnancy getting trashed. She always acts better than others, I guess it’s because her hubby (Mark’s brother) has a PhD. So what. She gets on my nerves, blogs about how she loves spending time w/ the family, yet she refuses to spend time w/ my kids. I can’t inmagine what kind of mother she’ll be, when she complains about my kids being noisy. I can’t stand being in the same room w/ her, and she has a shower in Feb. I hate that people who want to concieve can’t have kids, and she seems not to want to have a baby. I am disgusted. Sorry for the rant.