I was stupidly depressed all day at work. Hadn’t gotten enough sleep, ended up showing up to work late, my cubemate was out at his new job orientation, and I had a crapload of tedious work to do.
At least my legs finally stopped being sore.
When I got home, Aaron set me right. First, he did his typical Make-Diana-Happy move of being a goofball and tickling me until I’m genuinely laughing. Which is cool. Then he asked me if I’m going to quit aikido, and I told him no. I’m planning to stick it out until the end of July, when the Basics Seminar is being held, then make my decision. He pointed out that all I did all damn weekend was talk about aikido, which means that I really enjoyed it. He also pointed out that this is different than anything I’ve ever done before, including drum corps, and I can’t expect to go into it and already be good at it. That would be absurd. I agreed.
After our aikido discussion, he reinforced the fact that I need to focus on just one project or goal each evening. Just one. If I’m going to clean my desk, clean my desk. Don’t start doing something else, *then* clean my desk, and don’t make a list of twelve things and then get upset when they don’t all get done. Set attainable goals, and attain them.
I really appreciated that. It was exactly the kind of talking-to that I needed.
Per the schedule I made for myself, my computer’s getting turned off in about
fifteen ten minutes. Then I’ll wash the dishes, make my lunch (with plenty of carbs and protein to prepare for my aikido class), pack my gym bag, and get ready for bed. Lights out at 11pm, even if I’m not sleepy. Maybe setting myself a nighttime schedule will help me get myself on track.
Oh, by the way? I spent a good hour or more cleaning my desk while I listened to iTunes. It’s not completely clean yet, but it’s well on its way. Tomorrow is aikido, followed by (assuming I’m feeling up to it afterward) printing resumes and determining which potential employers I need to follow up with.
Man. Sometimes these days-long stretches of depression freak me out. They don’t happen very often, and it gets really hard to pull myself up and out.
I’m glad I had help.