If I’m already feeling down after two weeks of being jobless, how am I going to feel if it takes three months? May the Flying Spaghetti Monster save me from such a fate.
I feel like the Merry-Go-Round Of Life is kind of dragging me along behind it.
Backstory: When I was in first or second grade, the kids used to like to walk around the outside of the merry-go-round while it was going at full throttle. Oftentimes, I would be knocked off the merry-go-round by one of these daredevils, and would end up holding on for dear life, being dragged along behind it, screaming, “Stop the train! Stop the train!” (Which is what one yells when one wants the merry-go-round to stop, of course.)
Eventually, some of the bigger kids would drag their feet over the side and slow the thing down, and I’d finally let go and run to the recess monitor to tell her how someone tripped me and dragged me beside the merry-go-round. Her most memorable response: “Why didn’t you just let go?” She didn’t seem to realize that I could see underneath the merry-go-round as I was being dragged along, staring into the swirling dirt and darkness below the big metal frame, and was afraid that I’d roll under and get caught beneath it. Sure, letting go seemed to be an obvious solution, but she couldn’t see my fear from my point of view, and I couldn’t explain it to her.
That’s how I feel sometimes: that whole “Stop the world; I want to get off” vibe, but a little different. I can see how I should just let go and reset and try over again… but what happens if I let go, and everything goes to shit before I can catch my breath and jump back on? And, honestly, it’s a big challenge to let go of everything, even for a moment, without feeling like a.) I’m slacking and being a lazy loser, and b.) opportunities are passing me by while I’m taking five.
I feel like I should just be able to stand up and shake myself like a dog — ever seen Turner and Hooch? — and lose the depression, come back to my senses, locate the perfect job and land it well before Thanksgiving.