Back at the New Year, I resolved not to make an actual New Year’s Resolution. I did, however, decide to basically be good to myself. Do some things I’ve been needing to do. Be focused on the moment and on doing what is right. Basic stuff. So, since it’s the first of February, I thought this might be a good time to revisit those ideas and make sure I’m on the right track.
Things I’m doing right:
I’ve been trying to be more mindful about eating. I went on an evening binge once this month, but for the most part, I’ve been tracking and staying on plan. I’ve been mindful about how I spend my time, especially evenings at home. I play with Connor, but I also let him play alone while I do some cleaning around the house. It’s all small things, like the outside of the fridge or a shelf or whatever, but it’s a small step in the right direction.
As for writing more… well, here I am. 🙂 But, seriously — I averaged more than a post a week, which is good. I’m shooting for two a week, but more than one is good. I’m also contemplating doing some longhand journaling again (but not necessarily scanning and posting them all like I did with my last entry). There are some things that I need to get out, but that also need to remain private, or at the very least aren’t appropriate for public consumption.
I’ve been making a concerted effort not to be pulling out my phone all the time. I was reminded of how often I consult the intarwebs when I was out at dinner with my Mom, step-brother, and aunt. None of them were pulling out their phones for anything: not to track their dinner, not to check the weather, not to consult Wikipedia or their blog archives for some random piece of information — but I either did, or I thought about it. It sometimes doesn’t even occur to me that it’s considered rude in some circles to use one’s smartphone at the dinner table, and it’s a good reminder for me to be in the company of those who aren’t as attached to their phone as I am.
I’ve had a few non-scale victories this month, and I’ve joined a couple of challenges: one to lose 4% of my body weight in 30 days, and one to meditate every day in February. Both are totally reasonable goals to accomplish, given just a little bit of effort and attention. I’m also going to try to get Mom out for a walk at least once while I’m here with her in Texas. It’ll be good for us both physically and mentally, since we always end up talking about pretty deep stuff when we walk together, it seems — ever since I was old enough to talk about deep stuff, anyway (like, junior high age).
Room for improvement:
I still haven’t located a family doctor. Multiple people have mentioned that I need to get this bump on my finger looked at (Mom: “Weren’t you going to get that thing removed?”), plus this scar on my eyebrow is continuing to grow and change shape, and that scares me a little. Even if it’s nothing, I’d like to know for sure that it’s nothing, and possibly get both bumps removed purely for aesthetic reasons.
While I’ve been cleaning, I haven’t been cleaning nearly enough. We’re about a month out from closing on our new house, and our house still looks as cluttered as ever. I really need to MAKE the time to clean and pack and thin the hoard. I don’t need all this shit, and I don’t need to pack and move shit that I don’t need. This month, I need to ramp up my sense of urgency when it comes to getting into the new house.
We also haven’t looked into getting a will and trust set up yet. Who knows when one or both of us will get smoked by a bus; we should get all this morbid stuff set up sooner rather than later, so we don’t have to worry about it again for a while. Honestly, we probably should have set up the trust before we bought the house, so the house would be in the name of the trust instead of our names, but I’m not entirely sure how all that works, legally. I just watch Suze Orman and take her word for it.
So, overall, I think I’m doing well at being mindful, and present, and responsible, and all those things that I’d like to be. There’s always room for improvement, but it’s also a good thing to check in on oneself every now and then, just to be sure one is moving in the right direction.
Or even moving at all.