Using Jet Lag To My Advantage

I was actually on time to work this morning, having returned from a two-week vacation and a long weekend. Well, as on-time as I get, anyway: 8:05am or so.

I'd awakened well before my alarm, at 6:40am, thanks to insane jet lag messing with my daily rhythms. It was kind of nice, actually, being a bit of a morning-ish person, if just for a while. I had a nice slow and relaxed morning.

Now, this evening, I've been chilling on the couch, not doing any of the to-do list I'd made for myself (and quite enjoying the low-key evening, too). I've been dozing in and out, doing what I said I wasn't going to do: staying up later than my body wants to. I should really use our VCR instead of staying up "late" to watch my current favorite show.

I hope I haven't sabotaged my newfound morningness by staying up to watch my TV show. We'll see tomorrow, I suppose.

Twitter Is What You Make It.

Last month, my co-workers discovered Twitter. They didn't join it — far from it. In fact, they seemed not to grasp the usefulness at all, decrying it as self-serving and stupid, and leaving me to defend it during one of our weekly lunch outings. I think I fared well in Twitter's defense, as I got some conciliatory nods before the subject veered in another direction.

I can totally see where the Twitter haters are coming from. I really didn't get it myself until I was more mobile: first with my lame-o pay-as-you-go flip phone (which, unbeknownst to me, couldn't text to short codes or international numbers, which totally foiled my plan to Twitter our Hawaii vacation last year), and now with my iPhone.

Twitter can be stupid. I'll grant you that. Depending on how you use it, it can be a tool of complete drivel and juvenile chatter. With a little thought and research, and occasional pruning, it can also be useful, informative, and a much-needed diversion at times. It all depends on who you choose to follow.

As for me, the people I follow tend to fall into categories:

1. Friends and Acquaintances. These are the people who can tweet pretty standard things like "back to work for another monday," and I'll continue to follow them, just because. They'll occasionally tweet a piece of important personal news, and I'll be glad I was on the front lines to see it and respond (if appropriate). Friends and acquaintances (both IRL and online) comprise about one-third of my flock.
2. Industry Experts. I consider myself a web design hobbyist (I get the occasional word-of-mouth freelance gig), as well as a fairly recent convert to Business Intelligence. Most of the "industry" people I follow are web designers whose work I've admired for years, although I do follow a couple of businesses that would count for this category. Industry folks make up maybe one eighth of who I follow.
3. Hobbies and Interests. I try to spread these out; I find that if I follow multiple people who tweet about a particular interest of mine, one or two tend to rise up about the rest, content-wise, and the others get weeded out. Currently, I follow a couple of diet/fitness coaches, some atheists, a local record store, a couple of GTD experts, a nerdcore rapper, a sci-fi author, a couple of bloggers, and Wil Wheaton, among a few others. My varied interests make up something like almost half of the people I follow.

Some people fit into multiple categories, like acquaintances and industry experts, or industry experts and interests, so it's hard to come up with an exact breakdown of who I follow and why.

You may notice that I don't have a category specifically for "celebrities," although that seems to be what the media is latching onto about Twitter lately. I follow some "internet celebrities," like Heather Armstrong and her husband Jon. I'm sure that Whil Wheaton would fit into the celebrity category, too, although I tend to think of him as a writer who acted in a movie and a TV show I like, and as just a slightly different brand of geek than I am.

Just because someone I know or a company I like has an account on Twitter, that doesn't necessarily mean I'll follow them. This isn't a popularity contest — not to me, anyway. For the most part, I try to follow people whose tweets are relevant, interesting, thought-provoking, funny, helpful, newsworthy, or any combination of these. Sometimes it's a LOL-inducing twitpic; other times, it's a software announcement or links to little-known and under-publicized news stories.

(Next week, my contribution to the Twitterverse will include massive amounts of photos and observations from Japan. Look for it.)

Learning to Get Things Done

I haven't quite finished reading Getting Things Done (Note: I'd love to hyperlink to Amazon here, or even italicize the title, but my blog is still not accepting HTML), but I've at least started collecting my stuff to do, getting it all in one place, and revisiting the master list on a weekly basis.

Once I master this system, this could seriously help me manage the procrastination problem I've had for so long.

The key for me has been this: if it only takes two minutes, and you're in a place where you can do it now, DO IT NOW. There's no reason to put it off until later. It'll take as much energy to write it down and prioritize it as it would have to just go do it already.

Having discrete tasks has also helped me not get pulled off-track as often. As much as I would LOVE to go putz around and figure out WTF is wrong with my blog, there are other things that I know I can actually get done tonight, like spraying for ants or editing a podcast.

I still have a long way to go, and a lot more archived to-do items to dredge out and add to the Someday/Maybe list. (I have a stack of scrap paper and text files and e-mails with to-do items and ideas from over three years ago. I wish I were exaggerating.)

Until I officially reach Inbox Zero, though, at least I'm headed in the right direction.

A Quick Thought About "Sexting"

Back in the mid-to-late-90's, before cameraphones or affordable digital cameras, if you wanted especially sexy photos of your honey, you had to either know someone who knew someone who had access to photo developing, or you had to know about THAT ONE PLACE in town that would develop and print ANYTHING. (Within reason.)

Or you had to find a Polaroid One-Step at the thrift, which is the route we went. And, boy, the two times we used that Polaroid were fun and sexy at the time, but overexposed and unsexy afterward.

People who came of age even just five years after we did had a completely different experience. These days, kids and young adults have easy access to digital cameras and cell phones that don't care what kinds of photos you take. I can completely understand why hormonally-charged adolescents and post-adolescents would get off on sending sexy pictures of themselves to their boyfriends.

What's unfortunate, though, is that the part of the brain that makes decisions and judgments is the last to develop, as I understand it. Doesn't texting a sexy picture of yourself to your Significant Other sound pretty erotic? Sure it does — until you think one or two steps ahead. I know that there were plenty of times I was guilty of that sort of reasoning — well, not about sexy pictures, but about other things, like words said and notes written and homework ignored and classes skipped.

Is there a solution? Sure. Make sure your children understand the permanence of the internet, and teach them how to think critically and project the consequences of their actions. It's not a quick and easy fix, like putting a content filter on your internet and TV, but it's a thorough and responsible solution. I know I can't really pass judgment, because I don't have children; but I do know what my mother taught me about sex and responsibility, and what I learned on my own.

If I'd had a digital camera or a cameraphone back in 1997, would we have taken sexy pictures like we did with the Polaroid? I'm not sure we would have, since the novelty wouldn't really have been there. If we had, though, they might have looked a little less... embarrassing.

Privacy Policy

Speak when you are angry — and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
—Lawrence Peter

I snapped at my brother-in-law yesterday at Easter. I really should have held my tongue; he had been in a car accident the day before, and was physically and mentally out of sorts. But he made an angry comment to Aaron about how he didn't want people taking his picture without telling him — which is my M.O. at family gatherings. I'd actually already snapped one of him earlier, thinking his drugged-up state looked kind of cute.

So, I "thanked" him for telling me to my face not to take his picture, instead of telling my husband. He muttered something as I turned away, apparently not for my ears.

The private conversation that Aaron had with him later covered many topics, one of which was my penchant for taking candid photos and posting them online, either on my blog or on Flickr. I honestly hadn't considered the fact that I don't have explicit permission from the subjects to post their photos publicly; they're snapshots of my friends and family. If I'd wanted to publish them in a magazine or use them in my online portfolio, I would certainly ask (and have in the past). But for my blog? For my Flickr?

After I cooled down and considered the implications, it occurred to me that I've posted people's personal information on my blog multiple times. I've posted people's full names along with their photos. While I don't personally have a problem with posting info about myself online, other people might. (Actually, some people definitely do, even apart from my brother-in-law; one former co-worker from college has specifically asked me not to post her last name, to make her less searchable online for professional reasons.)

So, now I'm on a mission to rectify the situation. I'm going to remove references to people by their full names in all my blog entries; luckily, there aren't many of those. (I reserve the right to keep full names of people I'm trying to find, in the hopes that they'll Google themselves and find me.) I'm also going to set any photos of people on Flickr (ones not taken in public or at conventions, anyway) to be viewable by friends and family only, unless they've told me they're OK with having their picture online. So, if you're a regular reader and you know I have photos of you posted on my Flickr, feel free to speak up in advance one way or the other. Also, if you don't have a Flickr account, and still want to be able to see pictures of my friends and family, you might want to sign up and friend me (it's free, after all).

In this era of widespread indexing of information, I suppose we should all be more conscious of how we could potentially be violating others' rights to privacy. Sorry if I stepped on any toes.

Dreams

In looking through my e-mail for things I'd meant to blog, but never did, I came across this bit from April of last year:

I’m not much for literal dream interpretation. After some inspection of my own dreams over time, though, I can start to see patterns and themes. Symbolism. Things like that. I can tell what was just thrown into my dreams as a replay of the day’s events, and I can draw parallels between situations in my dreams and situations in real life. I know that certain people that appear in my dreams represent certain aspects of myself.

Lately, I’ve been dreaming about skipping school. Either I really want to skip class and end up just not going to school at all, or I skip class and I didn’t mean to. Sometimes, school is college, and sometimes it’s a weird conglomeration of college and high school.

Yesterday, I posted this dream on Twitter:

Before that, last week, I had a dream that included one of my co-workers. I didn't write it down, and I didn't talk about the contents of the dream, so I don't remember exactly what he was doing in my dream.

As we were standing in line the next day to grab some coffee at Biggby's, though, I went ahead and told him that he'd been in one of my dreams the previous night. That can be awkward — how do you respond to that? After he blushed and laughed ("I've never been in a co-worker's dream before!"), we ended up having a brief and intriguing conversation about dream interpretation as we waited for our coffee.

He started with, "Do you believe...?"

That kind of opening always evinces the skeptical "hairy eyeball" from me, and this was no exception. Turns out that he wasn't being quite that open-ended about it, and simply asked what I thought about how the brain reinterprets things in dreams. I made it clear that I don't believe in clairvoyance or precognition, but that I find it completely possible that the subconscious picks up on clues and signals in our surroundings that we don't consciously perceive.

Like I've mentioned before, I'm pretty sure that the recurring characters in my dreams represent certain aspects of my life. Maybe my co-worker now represents my work life and/or my career in IT.

As for the Japan dream, that one's easy to interpret.

(BTW, 140 characters was way too short to include all the nuances of the dream. It also included a cashier / counter girl who spoke excellent English and a cash register that doubled as a bun-warmer for sample sandwiches.)

Good Mood

I've been in an exceptionally good humour today, and have been trying to pin down why. I suppose it doesn't really matter, but it kind of does.

Physically, I feel well-rested, despite getting no more than my usual seven-ish hours of sleep. Maybe it had something to do with last night's workout? This morning's Skinny Double Mocha helped, too, in more ways than one. I got sufficiently caffeinated, for sure, but I also enjoyed feeling like a part of the group. (Six of us walked over to Biggby's together and shared buy-one-get-one coupons.)

I've also been particularly productive at work lately, and the work I've been doing has been helpful to other members of my team. That makes me feel useful and needed, and like I belong. The last time I felt like that was a good two years ago, when I was developing the Loan Corrections database at Sky.

Hopefully, this good mood is sustainable over a few days, and isn't just a one-shot thing for today. I'll do what I can to keep it rolling.

Time to head back in to work, though I'd love to stay outside with my favorite tunes and my portable internets and the warm sun and the fresh breeze. Ah, Spring.

Transparency

Yes, it's the middle of the day, and I'm blogging. I'm on my lunchbreak, sitting in the abandoned foodcourt of Portside, tapping away on my iPhone. I point this out so I won't get busted later for blogging during work hours.

See, my direct supervisor is also one of my friends on Facebook. There have been times when I wondered if that was a smart move, since my Facebook is basically a Tumblr account, aggregating all my blog entries, shared items from Google Reader, favorites from YouTube, Flickr photos, etc. I think, though, that having her in the loop keeps me from blogging anything I might regret later, like publicly admitting when my sick day is actually a "mental health day," or Tweeting something unsavory about work, or talking smack about just about anybody (at work or otherwise). My Mom reads my blog and Facebook, too, but I'd be more concerned about losing future favorable references or getting myself into professional trouble than pissing off my Mom.

Besides my boss, many of my friends read my blog, so I try to keep some things under wraps. I don't use this as my "diary" like I did back in 2002, just because it's more widely read. I can't just say, "Something So-and-so said today made me really uncomfortable," or "I really wish So-and-so would stop calling," although I'm not afraid to say that I wish our friends (read: Aaron's friends) would call and want to get together more often.

Something else to consider is the fact that I use the same username on every forum and site I'm on, so I always have to be on guard. Well, not so much "on guard" as just aware of the image I'm putting out there. This is the Internet, after all, and even locked posts have a way of becoming more public via email or IM, if someone sees the need.

Am I worried? No, not really. If I were, I'd use something more elusive as my alias, and I certainly wouldn't use my full name as my domain. I mean, I already got my debit card number stolen once, and I survived that. I don't publish my SSN online or anything, and I'm not popular enough on the internet that people will look up my address and stalk me, or try to break in while I'm gone, or follow me to work.

I'm comfortable with my level of transparency. In fact, I kind of like it. It's refreshingly honest. This is me; take it or leave it.

Tracking and Trending

I've often felt like I'm a little anal-retentive about the things I track and record on a regular basis. But nothing I do holds a candle to Nicholas Felton.

In one sense, the Annual Reports started in 2004 with a single-page, best-of-the-year survey. While this “Best of Four” was filled primarily with items I’d enjoyed the most over the previous year, it also contained some smaller, objective items I could excavate from the year without trying too hard. These items, such as the “most-played song,” “air miles traveled” and “digital versus analog photos” formed the basis of the following reports, while the subjective elements have become much less prominent.

I looked at Felton's most recent Annual Report, and found it both intriguing and excessively OCD. Then it occurred to me how many things I track in my own life:

• Music - tracking listening habits via Last.fm and iTunes
• Food - tracking eating habits for Weight Watchers by hand in a journal
• Weight - tracking daily/weekly weight over the past six years via Excel spreadsheet
• Photos - geotagging on Flickr, cataloguing and tagging via Adobe Bridge
• Concerts - via Last.fm Events (and physical ticket stubs saved)

I'm sure there are other data and trends I could extract from my online interactions (like Facebook and YouTube), and I know there must be daily actions that it would behoove me to track more regularly (like my sleep habits).

I'm sure it would also be helpful if I actually looked at the trends that the data reveal — do I gain more weight after a weekend including sushi or Indian food? Is there a correlation between amount of sleep and weight loss/gain? How does my diet directly affect my weight; how many Flex Points can I eat before I stop losing and start maintaining or gaining? What's the effect of eating five or six servings of vegetables versus only one in a day? There are so many possibilities, depending on how obsessive I want to get about the various aspects of my life. (Right now, my weight loss and food intake is the most trackable and accessible, so that's where my focus goes first.)

Might be worth some thought for me, as I'm already an anal-retentive bastard when it comes to tracking and listing certain things, anyway. Maybe dialing up the OCD will help me on several fronts.

Filler Post

As a general rule, I like to post "real" blog posts daily, or at least every weekday, so that the front page of my website doesn't end up consisting only of my tweets. Usually, even if I don't have the time or brainpower to tackle one of my many backlogged topics (I do have a list), I can come up with something decent: a photo, or a link, or a YouTube video.

Alas, tonight I have been busy productive on other fronts instead. I edited and posted the Drinking Gourd Podcast (wherein Jay Rinsen Weik discusses the Zen ancestor Shih-T'ou), I made another man-candle for Rob, I backed up my photos from 2008 onto two DVD-Rs, and I finally washed my dirty dishes. Plus, I did some yoga to help stretch out my muscles, which are sore from being too macho while moving furniture yesterday.

It's going to feel good to check off a few high-priority items from the To Do app on my iPhone (which is how I prioritize these days). Heck, yeah.

Facebook Friends

Social Networking is a great tool for staying in touch with friends, and for making new ones. It can also be satisfyingly voyeuristic, seeing what your old acquaintances are up to these days without having to make the commitment to actually socialize with them.

On Twitter, there have been a few people I follow who have stated that they're conducting a Facebook purge — removing "friends" who haven't contacted them outside of Facebook within the last year.

That made me think about the demographics of my own friend pool. Being the anal-retentive list-maker that I am (is it any wonder I got into Business Intelligence and reporting as a career?), I tallied and graphed my relationships with all my Facebook friends:

Category A = People I see face-to-face or e-mail on a regular basis
Category B = People I wish I saw or spoke with regularly, but don't
Category C = People with whom I'd lost touch, and am still curious about
Category D = People I knew once upon a time, but no longer have contact with
Category E = People I've never met in real life

Interestingly enough, I'm less likely to remove people from my E list than my D list, since I had to specifically evaluate the people I'd never met in order to decide whether or not to just ignore their friend request. With people I once knew, it's harder to say no — for me, anyway.

I think that I'll be going through my D list tonight and pruning out some folks. So, if you're a regular reader of my blog and you find yourself missing me on your friends list, just re-add me. I'm guessing that most of my D list won't even notice I'm gone...

My Husband: A Meme

One of the posts that came down my Google Reader pipeline today was a Facebook meme I actually hadn't seen yet (wonder of wonders!), posted by, of all people, Dooce.

(Incidentally, I wonder how many of her readers immediately said to themselves, "OMG HEATHER IS ON FACEBOOK?" and rushed off to friend her? Not me — I'm actually trying to prune the Facebook friend insanity.)

Although I've been doing the standard memes on Facebook instead of my main blog, I decided to fill out this one here, since it's about Best Friend #1: my husband.

What are your middle names?
Mine is Marie. It's a family name; my mom has it, and her dad's mother had it.
Aaron's is Russell. It's a family name; his dad has it, and his dad's dad had it.

How long have you been together?
We've been together since March 1996, so almost 13 years now. We've been married for the last 5+ of those.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We were introduced for the explicit purpose of dating, but we knew each other for about three weeks before officially becoming "a thing."

Who asked whom out?
I asked him out, via e-mail. —Well, no, that's not entirely true. I introduced myself to him, we volleyed e-mails back and forth, then he suggested that we should meet for coffee before the online thing got too weird.

How old are each of you?
He's 34; I'll be 33 in April. For some reason, I can always remember his age easier than I can remember mine. He's almost a year and a half older than I am.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Since I don't have any full siblings, we definitely see his brother more often. I do have a step-brother — we still see Aaron's brother more, though, since he lives relatively close by now, and my step-brother goes to OSU.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
I used to think it was our opposite schedules, but I'm realizing that our opposite schedules are an integral part of our unique relationship dynamic. We each get to do our thing during the week, and not feel bad about dissing the other person. On the weekends, we have quality time. It works surprisingly well.

Did you go to the same school?
He transferred from UT to BG after we had been dating for a while.

Are you from the same home town?
No.

Who is smarter?
He would probably say I am. I say we're both equally smart, often in very different ways.

Who is the most sensitive?
Neither of us are particularly mushy; I'd have to call that one a draw, too.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Our current front-runner is Fujiyama, a great sushi place just up the road from us.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Tokyo, Japan.

Who has the craziest exes?
Aaron, hands down. My exes were just insensitive dorks; his drank ammonia, ran screaming in the rain after prom, french-kissed like a fish, and other things I'm not privy to disclose.

Who has the worst temper?
Aaron. He's been known to throw things (not at me) and yell (mostly at or about inanimate objects). I yell very infrequently, although I do get bitchy more often than I used to.

Who does the cooking?
Aaron, generally. We have opposite shifts during the week, so we're only together for meals on the weekends, and we mostly go out for our meals these days. When we do cook at home, though, Aaron definitely takes the lead.

Who is the neat-freak?
If I had to pick, I'd say Aaron. I'm kind of OCD about certain things, but he generally reaches his threshhold of dirty way before I do.

Who is more stubborn?
We're both definitely stubborn in different ways. He tends not to want to do things if coerced; it has to be his idea. (Isn't everyone like that, though?) I'm more passive-aggressive about my stubbornness.

Who hogs the bed?
We take turns. Because of our different schedules, I go to bed first, then he comes home from work after I've been in bed for half the night, so sometimes I have a leg or an arm sprawled on his side when he comes to bed. Then again, sometimes he rolls over and takes his half out of the middle while he sleeps.

Who wakes up earlier?
Me, thanks to our aforementioned schedules. I'm up around 7am (or thereabouts), and he's up at noon.

Where was your first date?
Cosmo's coffee shop in Bowling Green, OH. I got an Italian soda (I wasn't into coffee yet) and we sat at the window table and talked for hours. Alas, Cosmo's is no more, and is now a Mexican restaurant.

Who is more jealous?
Hard to tell. I don't think either of us are very jealous.

How long did it take to get serious?
We were physically serious fairly early on (read: making out like monkeys in the TV lounge on the second date), but we took things really slow otherwise. About a year and a half or two years into our relationship, I think things really started to get comfortable and long-term.

Who eats more?
Technically, he does. We're both on the same diet, and he gets allotted more calories since he's a male with a non-sedentary job, versus me being female with a desk job.

Who does the laundry?
I do, while he does the grocery shopping. This is a throwback from our college days, when I didn't have a car and we'd both go and do laundry and shopping together. Later on, once we moved in together (and had two cars), we'd split up and I'd hit the laundromat while he hit the grocery store. Now that we have a washer and dryer at home, the same Sunday schedule persists.

Who's better with the computer?
Hardware? We're both on a par, although he likes to take charge. As software goes, I have him beat with Photoshop and HTML, not counting my other geeky coding pursuits.

Who drives when you are together?
Aaron — again, a throwback to when I didn't have a car. I'm fine with that, though.

Treating Myself

The last time I got my hair cut was late September, when I got a much shorter 'do than I'd requested. It took four months for the front of my hair to finally grow out to where I'd wanted it in the first place. Meanwhile, the back was growing out all funky and ragged, and the layers I'd been given were atrocious.

So, this evening I headed out to my long-awaited appointment at Attitudes, per the suggestion of Kris's girlfriend. I knew going in that my haircut was going to be literally four or five times more expensive than my discount cut, but I was perfectly fine with that.

As Connie had promised, the receptionist asked if I'd like a beverage, and offered to take my coat for me. (Fancy!) Shortly thereafter, I was ushered in by my stylist's associate (read: understudy). When my stylist Kristie arrived, I explained to her the debacle of my previous haircut, and gave her an idea of what I wanted — basically, to shorten the back and to have the whole style generally cleaned up.

Now, to anyone who regularly goes to a "real" hair salon, the whole salon experience will seem like no big thing. For me, though, what followed was such a 180 from the discount place that I absolutely fell in love. First, I got an awesome shampoo and scalp massage. Incredibly relaxing. It made me realize how much I neglect my scalp when I wash my own hair.

When I came back out for my haircut, Kristie was especially attentive to details — down to checking the hairline at the nape of my neck BEFORE cutting it too close and realizing that I have a bit of a cowlick. She also showed her associate what she was doing and why, which was informative for me, too.

The proof is in the pudding, though. Here we have my before and after shots:

It's tough to see in the Before photo, but the back of my hair was horribly scraggly and long. Kristie cleaned it up fantastically, and, like I said, with exquisite attention to detail. The final outcome is a little rounder than I'd been thinking originally, but she didn't steer me wrong. I like it.

If you're looking for a hair salon in south Toledo, I highly recommend Attitudes. Everyone was very friendly and professional, and I came out with a hairstyle that I absolutely love. (Their shampoo and styling products also made my hair smell fantastic!)

I tipped Kristie 20%. I hope that's sufficient to express my appreciation.

Cruising Portside

When I announced my intention to go on my normal lunch walk today, my supervisor looked at me like I was crazy.

"In this weather?"

Granted, the snow was coming down steadily, and the temperature was hovering around 12°F. But I was going to be hardcore — exercise is probably the best way to break through my two-month weight-loss plateau, after all, and there's no time like the present. No excuses.

Then she suggested I check out the tunnels beneath COSI, across the street. I'd only been down there once or twice, and always with other co-workers. I admitted that maybe today would be a good day to check it out on my own.

After not five minutes of walking outside, I made up my mind, and headed into the KeyBank building...

read more...

The Quest For Inbox:Zero

My modus operandi with e-mail is to leave "pending" items in my inbox, then file them when I've done whatever it is that needs to be done with them. Reply to them, take action on them, whatever. While that works out well at my job, it only plays to my procrastinating tendencies at home, leading me to have e-mails in my inbox from literally five years ago.

It's fun interesting looking back at some of the stuff I'd intended to blog, but never got around to it, being that some of it ended up being mildly prescient / prophetic:

Fri 15 Dec 2006 | 4:47 PM

I’m not one to fall into the trap of blogging about specifics at work. Suffice to say that I have evidence that the high turnover rate in my department of late is likely to continue in the future. Our previous clockwork vibe is long gone, co-workers are complaining about one another, and our supervisor and her actions are unpopular in certain circles. The few people who have the best interests of the department in mind (myself included) are quickly moving toward just doing our jobs and the extra mile be damned.

Fri 29 Dec 2006 | 4:49 PM

I figured out last night why I'm so stressed about the possibility of losing this pregnancy. There will never be another individual exactly like this little one that's brewing right now. Even though it can't yet see, or hear, and doesn't even really have opposable thumbs yet, it has the potential to be a unique human being. If it doesn't make it, it's not only a child I wouldn't get to raise, but it's a person who wouldn't exist. It's like some weird wersion of It's A Wonderful Life or a Richard Bach story, thinking of all the people who haven't existed due to miscarriage or abortion. Who knows what potential leaders or philanthropists were never born, but were, in fact, meant to be?

Then, there are some slightly more recent almost-blogs that are more applicable to my life as it is today:

Mon 19 Nov 2007 | 4:21 PM

[My old job] vs. [my new job] is like marching band vs. drum corps - no one is here who doesn’t want to be here. Everyone is all business.

Also? Seniority is directly related to a person’s proximity to a window. At least in my dept.

(Incidentally? I will shortly be moving to a cube two spots closer to the window, after a year and change.)

Finally, there are some random goodies that are fun any day of the week:

Mon 27 Aug 2007 | 3:45 PM

[Heard at work:] "...teach them their prayers." Does God not listen to you unless you know the magic words? Mormons learn God's secret handshake in the temple, though, and that's no less ridiculous.

Fri 27 Jun 2008 | 11:30 AM

From a DBA [database administrator] at work, about a debacle he helped create: "Bah. That's part of the job. They just misspell it: should be DBAcle."

I still have about 80 e-mails in my inbox, dating back to January 2005 (the oldest ones are from genealogists and possible distant cousins looking to share research). Considering that I was way over 100 last week, I'm well on my way to zero.

Grinchy?

It's that time of year again: time to start sending out the Christmas cards.

Our Christmas card list began as our wedding invitation list — and does, in fact, still live on a tab in an Excel workbook entitled "Wedding Planner." It's morphed over the years, of course; friends have been added over the past 5+ years, and acquaintances have been axed as we've grown apart.

The list seems to have three main categories:

1. Family. His and mine. They get a card every year, regardless.


2. Close friends. Most of these people we communicate with on a regular basis, and we could save a stamp with many of them by just giving them their card when we see them next.


3. Used-to-be-close friends. We now only touch base with these people via Christmas cards, which is really kind of sad.

Not everyone reciprocates the Christmas card "exchange," though. Since Christmas of 2006, I've been keeping track of who has sent us Christmas cards in return. Maybe I'm channeling the Scrooge within, but I'm seriously considering a Three Strikes, You're Out policy: we send you a card for three years, you don't send us one, we assume you don't give a shit and will stop sending you these damn cards. Shallow? Perhaps. So be it.

If you send us a card, though, we'll send you one. There's something special about getting a tangible token of goodwill in this age of electronic communication. Even if you just took the time to print it out, and didn't write a personal message (which we also frequently omit), at least you took the time to think about us and how we might appreciate a card.

I wasn't overly impressed with the quality of our custom-printed cards this year, so I think I might do something a little more special and involved (read: scrapbooky and crafty) next year. That's still a long way away, though...

My Civic Duty

For the first time in my life, I've received the call to serve in the capacity of juror. It's actually not that big of an inconvenience for me, as I work downtown, anyway. I'd just end up parking in my normal garage (where my company subsidizes half of the monthly fee), and walk the few blocks to the courthouse.

The official mailing I received a few weeks back instructed me to call a given number on the evening before my first assigned day, to find out if my assigned group number would be needed for the day's work. When I called this evening, the pre-recorded message told me that groups numbered one through six would need to report around 11am. My group number: 23.

I think I might dodge the bullet this time around, but we'll see for sure tomorrow.

Hairstyle Update

Sheryl came to my rescue at work today, suggesting a slight side part and a few other serving suggestions (headband with wispies, teeny hair clips).

Of the people who saw my new 'do, about half told me how much they liked it. I'm assuming the other half were practicing the "if you can't say anything nice" school of thought. Either that, or they're trying to figure out if this is what my hair always looked like.

I'm starting to get more used to it. Like I told Sheryl, I wouldn't have tried anything like this of my own accord, but I suppose it's good to try something new — even if just to decide I don't want to do it again. And, after all, it's just hair. It'll grow back.

Adventures in Discount Hairstyling

You get what you pay for. Go to Great Clips for a $6.99 haircut, and that's exactly what you'll get.

As for me, I got a stylist who heard me say, "I'm not quite used to the short hair yet," saw me visually and verbally describe the cut I wanted, then proceeded to give me a MUCH shorter cut. To her credit, she did apologize for making it so short, after she said that it had turned out shorter than she'd thought.

What? You have the scissors, lady! My hairstyle is completely under your control! WTF.

So, now I'm stuck with a VERY short haircut that I didn't ask for, but that I now have to deal with for several months until it grows out. One thing is for certain: I am NEVER going back to Great Clips.

Cute Skirtness Redux

I bought this skirt at the mall last week. Afterward, I purchased some socks online — these are technically over-the-knee socks, but my still-oversized thighs forced the socks into submission as Harajuku-style scrunch socks. I finally located a black turtleneck sweater in the back of the closet to complete the outfit, and voila! Cuteness.

While shopping, I made the mistake of picking things up, saying, "But where would I wear this?" and putting them back. I almost said that with this skirt, but it was just too damned cute. It wasn't until later that I recalled a favorite sentiment from those evil What Not To Wear hosts: Do you need an excuse to look fashionable? Freaking wear it to the grocery store! Who cares?

Really, though: 80% of my wardrobe is casual clothes that I wear less than 30% of the time — that is to say, on the weekend. Sheryl thinks I could totally wear this outfit to work (with nylons instead of socks), but I'm kind of hesitant. I'd feel less professional and more cute, and I'm not sure how that would work out. Maybe, though. We'll see.

P.S. - For yet another startling photo comparison of my new weight versus the old, check out the original "Cute Skirtness" entry from March 2005.

Starting Over

Did 30 minutes of Wii Fit this evening, along with a little bit of housework. Currently working on the Zen podcast. Planning to go to Zen meditation tomorrow evening. Life is getting back into its normal, non-depressed groove.

I've decided that the best way to go from here, assuming my mood doesn't continue to improve, is the Fake It Till You Make It approach. Keep busy, keep upbeat, don't make it obvious that I have a shitty self-image, and eventually my brain will fall into line.

Wednesday evening is Zen. Thursday evening will involve doing yoga and cleaning my desk. Friday evening will be more Wii Fit and probably continuing to clean my desk. (I've noticed I do feel more positive and productive if my work area is clean and tidy.) The weekend will be the weekend, and on Monday, I will begin my blog migration / redesign in earnest. I may even move it and make it live before the design is completely done, just because I'm so looking forward to a new design and a decrufted installation of MT.

Keeping busy, but not TOO busy. Leaving time to pamper myself. Sit zazen. Tweeze my eyebrows. That sort of thing.

I'll be fine. Thanks for thinking of me. :-D

One Down, One Zillion To Go

Apart from a few minor issues that I need to finish addressing, my freelance gig is complete. The site is done, the client knows how to update it, and I've been paid for my work. Now the trick is to get Chelsea Tipton's website to come up first in the Google rankings for a search on his name, instead of being stuck on the second page of results.

Now that I have one project in the bag (or I will very shortly), I can contemplate my next project: moving and redesigning my blog.

And after that's done, I have a laundry list of projects that will literally never end. Not until I'm dead.

Minor things like editing home videos and outputting them to DVD. Major things like finishing a novel or two. Mundane things like getting my fucking desk clean once and for all. Pragmatic things like updating my resume and portfolio. Creative things like songwriting, or photography, or scrapbooking. Oh, Lordy, the scrapbooking. I haven't even finished scrapbooking our honeymoon, and we celebrated our 5th anniversary this past May.

Whenever I hear someone say they need a hobby, I want to invite them to have one of mine. I have more than I'll ever use up.

Never Thought It Could Happen To Me

I was out on a sushi double-date last Saturday when the first oddity arose. I went to pay for lunch, and my debit card was declined. My debit card? Huh. I chalked it up to weirdness with their credit card machine and paid with an actual credit card, which went through without a hitch.

Later on, Aaron suggested I try paying for our Starbucks with my debit card to see if the earlier issue had just been a glitch. Nope — my card was declined at Starbucks, too. I started to worry, and made a note to check my online banking when I got home.

Later that evening, I logged into my online banking and found the first major WTF: a $635 charge from Virgin Blue. Airline tickets?

I got on the phone immediately to the NCB call center.

The customer service rep who spoke with me was super polite and helpful and told me that my debit card had been frozen by the Fraud Department due to some suspicious charges. He gave me the number for Fraud, although they wouldn't be in until after the long weekend. That was OK: I wasn't overdrawn or anything, so it could wait.

Forgot to call Tuesday. Called from my desk at work on Wednesday. The woman in the Fraud Department was also very nice and explained that some unusual charges had come in. Since Saturday, another charge of about $400 from Oman Air had appeared in my online banking, in addition to the $635 charge for Virgin. (Good thing I'd just gotten paid, so my balance could take the hit.) Then she proceeded to rattle off the charges that they'd caught and stopped before they hit my account: London, Turkey, Skype, Yahoo, PayPal, all adding up to more than $1000 — and that's not counting the $1000 that DID post!

Now THAT would have wiped me out, but good.

So, the nice lady in Fraud ordered me a new debit card with a new card number (note to self: must change anything online that autodebits my debit card) and told me to go into a branch to fill out an affidavit of fraud to get credit for the charges that posted. Plus the International Transaction Fees that posted along with them. Sigh.

No problem. Left work early, went to the bank, and TaMika hooked me up. Didn't even have to fill out or sign anything — it was all done in their computer system. I should be getting my provisional credit in about four business days; until then, I'm going to be careful about which bills I pay when, so I don't overdraw myself before I get my $1000 back.

Despite all this, I'm not on the road to being one of those people who gets the prepaid credit cards from their bank for online shopping. I probably just used my debit card on one unscrupulous site — or with a company whose wi-fi network wasn't well-shielded enough — and away my number went. Who knows where it got leaked. At any rate, I'm still going to shop online, although I don't know if I'll be so cavalier about using my debit card online anymore.

My debit card number got stolen, and it turned out to be just a minor nuisance (so far). I count myself lucky: other people have had it worse.

The Daily Grind

I think it's funny that, anytime I sit down to write the sort of entry I would have written in a paper journal (back in the pre-blog Dark Ages of the year 2000), I feel the need to reaffirm the fact that this is still my personal journal. This isn't my full-time job, I'm not monetizing my blog, and I shouldn't feel like an inferior blogger just because I keep a wide-ranging, personal journal. I'm not topical, like some of the tech blogs; I don't craft witty and humorous essays like Dooce; I'm just making public what was once a private venture, from my first journal at age seven to my last pre-blog folders of scribbled notebook paper and "Talking to Myself" text files on my old Mac.

That said, here's what's going on with me:

read more...

Quote of the Day

Found on a scrap of paper on my desk:

"Do all your work as though you had a thousand years to live, and as you would if you knew you must die tomorrow."

—Mother Ann Lee, of the Shakers

More Unblogged Thoughts

Again, from the depths of my stale inbox:

4/20/05
I'm such a photographer. Everybody is oooh-ing and ahh-ing over someone's cute family picture, complete with a new baby, and all I can think is, "well, their bodies need to be overlapped more, and his head is tilted too far."

6/20/05
you can't leave your baby alone with your husband for three days while you go on vacation? i find that odd. i mean, when aaron and i procreate, we'll be learning together how to take care of our kid, and most likely one of us will be watching him or her while the other parent is at work, for the most part.

Little Bit of Everything

I don't do these massive update posts much anymore — I prefer to keep my blog entries on one topic at a time — but I figured I'd do one catch-up post, then maybe expound on parts of it later. So, working backwards from today...

Weighed in today at 196.5 lbs on my home scale — that's one and a half pounds away from my recent all-time low of 195 from May 2007. (Yep, I gained 15 pounds in six months, and it took me longer than that to lose it again.) It was a bit of a disappointment, then, to weigh in at my Weight Watchers meeting at 200.4 lbs, even after I had an ultra-light breakfast and didn't drink much water before the weigh-in. My mini-goal had been to weigh in under 200 pounds at the meeting. Oh, well — I guess I'll wait until next weigh-in to hit my mini-goal, and to reward myself with some shorts and dress pants and blouses that fit.

My supervisor asked me this morning if I'd like to attend a User Group meeting in Lansing (two hours away) this Thursday. Then she asked me if I could drive, since her car doesn't have air conditioning. D'oh! So, I'll be getting up at the buttcrack of dawn on Thursday, driving with my supervisor for two hours, attending four hours of Business Intelligence lectures and panels, then having lunch and driving two hours back. At least we don't have to work for the last couple hours of the day; basically, my day gets shifted forward by two hours.

I landed a freelance web design gig yesterday. Actually, I pretty much "landed" it last Wednesday, when he asked me if I do web design, but yesterday's client meeting was the first official sealing of our new business relationship. He's the resident conductor of a local orchestra, so I'm basically making him a PR tool, which is perfect work for me. I underpriced myself, as per usual, but I made sure to leave myself an out: a flat fee for the first 20 hours, then an hourly fee for the next 20, topping out at 40 hours. So, I won't have totally hosed myself.

This past weekend, Aaron and I went up to the Ann Arbor Art Fairs. Great time, as always. I took a few pictures (with the Holga, too, although I'll have to wait until those are developed to post them), and I bought one expensive thing and one not-so-expensive thing.

Oh, and I still need to get this blog moved to its new home on another web host, and not just because something's borked with my MT installation/upgrade (as you will have noticed if you tried to comment on a post lately — your comments ARE going through, I promise). I have until the end of August to get my stuff moved — which, incidentally, is also the deadline for getting my freelance site done. I'm going to be looking at some mighty busy evenings here. I'll need to carefully ration out my time.

And now I should get to bed, because I need to ready myself for my epic early-morning wakey-wakey in another day or so. I haven't gotten up at 5:30am since... um... well, it's been a while. Not counting jet lag in another timezone, of course.

Financially Speaking

I'm not a financial analyst; far from it. However, I did work for a financial institution for five years, and I lost my job as a result of that financial institution, Sky Financial Group, being acquired by Huntington Bancshares.

Since Huntington gave me a quite reasonable retention bonus and severance package (most of which still remains in my high-yield savings), and since my job loss was the catalyst for a new and better career move, and (most importantly) since my severance agreement included a clause against publishing negative commentary about the company, I'm disinclined to talk smack about Huntington.

However, that doesn't mean I'm not curious about how they're faring in the current financial climate. I've remained blissfully ignorant of most of the happenings of the bank since I left, with only a few bits and pieces making it my way through the grapevine. Now that things are coming to even more of a head in the financial world, though, I find myself wondering how that merger worked out for them.

Not so good, it seems.

read more...

My Brain Makes the Darndest Dreams

The inner workings of the brain never cease to amuse me.

This weekend, I did a few completely unrelated things:

1. Searched for Alton Brown's lentil soup recipe
2. Took a long walk with Aaron
3. Looked to see if my hometown of Medina was recorded for Google Street View
4. Read the menu of the restaurant I'd be going to today with my co-workers, to decide on an entree in advance

Last night, my brain concocted this great dream where I'd moved into a house in Medina. (I'm pretty sure that both Aaron and my mother lived there, too.) I was walking along the streets at night, when I came across none other than Alton Brown, talking into a bluetooth digital audio recorder. When I approached him, he was friendly, and we walked together to a local drug store which, inexplicably, sold food in the middle of the night. We ordered the special — which I ate until AB pointed out that the meat in the sandwich was mainly fatty, at which point I stopped and said I should really stick to my diet. I was also giddy and fangirl-ish and more candid than I needed to be, telling embarrassing stories about myself. Afterward, as we walked back to our respective homes, I discovered that my new Medina house was only three houses down from AB's house. I also discovered that it was 3am, and I'd been out for a Very Long Time.

Isn't the brain fun?

This Is So Me

From an e-mail to myself, recently discovered in the depths of my inbox:

Fri, Apr 15, 2005 at 4:54 PM

Have you been robbed by the three thieves of productivity - distraction, perfectionism and procrastination? If you are task and achievement oriented, you’ve struggled to keep these villains out of your life.

Here are some quick tips to help improve productivity.

• Spend a few moments when you get to work getting organized and creating a to-do list to reduce the risk of distraction.
• Is perfection getting in the way? That speech, project, or report is probably ready to go now. So let it fly.
• Always waiting for tomorrow? Learn how to produce a sense of urgency to ward off procrastination so you can act and avoid delays. Do it by focusing on the consequences of not completing a task and the rewards of getting it done.

There's no citation, so I'm guessing I got it from the company intranet. I can only find it in one place online.

It's so true, though, on all three counts. It's an ongoing self-improvement struggle for me to combat my procrastinatory tendencies. It's been an issue since I was a kid. Some things never change, I guess... but that doesn't stop me from trying.

Unusually Stylish

I tend to read Dooce's Daily Style section and just be amazed at all the kitschy, swanky, stylish stuff she can find. So, when I was in Barnes & Noble recently and found this in the clearance bin, I couldn't pass it up.

While I'm not usually one to glom onto delicate cuteness in baby blue, and I don't often have occasion to send Thank You cards, I thought these cards by Pepperpot were classy and well-designed, and I appreciated the small-press personal touch with the tie and tag around the cards.

The kicker? The keepsake box. Not only is it fairly strong and sturdy, but the lid has magnets to snap the lid shut. MAGNETS. In the LID. That appeals to my packrat nature in so many ways.

Now I wish I could find more. Alas, an Amazon search doesn't turn up much that isn't baby books.

Meme: Diana Needs...

I haven't done one of these in a while; and, no, I wasn't "tagged" for this one, either. I was just looking through some old blog entries yesterday, and came upon the "Diana is..." meme from a few years back, so I thought I'd do the related "Diana needs..." meme just for fun:

[Edited To Add: The idea here is to Google your first name with the verb "needs" or "is" and post the first several hits — particularly the amusing ones.]

Diana needs a wealthy husband who can provide her with the high life she craves while sheltering her from the media clamor that follows her every move.
> [Um, wrong Diana. Sorry.]

Diana needs a hug.
> [Always.]

Diana needs to come over and turn my charming studio into a warehouse loft!
> [Diana needs to paint her own living room first, kthx.]

Diana needs to make an announcement.
> [I do? Very well... I AM GOING TO HAWAII IN 35 28 DAYS.]

Diana... needs outa this town!
> [See above.]

Diana needs help.
> [Always.]

Diana needs to learn respect to the refs.
> [I got a rope... I got a tree... All we need is a... nevermind.]

Diana needs to take a trip to the museum to see all the beautiful paintings of women ten times bigger during the Roman/Greek times.
> [Maybe she does. Maybe Diana would feel better about herself if her likeness were dropped into a Boticelli or Bellini painting.]

Diana needs to get a few clues.
> [Again, always.]

Weekend Shopping

Last weekend, Aaron and I had an agenda. We were going to peruse the monthly flea market at the Wood County Fairgrounds in Bowling Green, hit the BG Goodwill while we were in town, and drive through downtown to see what's left of our old familiar haunts. After that, I thought maybe we'd hit Levis Commons (one of those outdoor malls) in Perrysburg on the way home.

We decided to eat lunch in BG, which went well; we tried the Old Town Buffet, a newer Chinese buffet on N. Main Street. They had different food than we were used to getting at a Chinese buffet, which was good — kept things interesting. Plus, they had good (if tame) sushi, and were reasonably priced. And I was good and only ate one plate of food, plus a little dessert. Score one for our BG trip.

The flea market was at least something to do, and someplace to walk around. There wasn't anything we were interested in actually buying, but some of the stuff was fun to look at. That, plus it's always interesting to people-watch at the flea market. Our trip around the booths was short and sweet, and we were fairly ambivalent about it. Didn't suck, but wasn't great.

Same with Goodwill. Looked around everything except the clothes (which take up most of the newly renovated and expanded store). Noticed some overpriced video games and systems that we didn't want. Left after our brief spin through the aisles.

After Goodwill, I let Aaron take me to that bastion of evildoing in retail, Wal-Mart, so he could see if they had any HD-DVDs on clearance. (Aaron, being the consumer of many dead media formats already, waited until HD-DVD was officially dead to purchase the HD add-on for his Xbox 360, thereby getting both the player and the movies at blowout prices.)

Of course, they didn't have any.

Our BG trip was getting more and more dismal. No Madhatter to visit, no interest in book-shopping or coffee-drinking at Grounds, no interest in just walking around campus. On our way out of town, we drove past campus and ogled at the not-really-new wider streets and the quasi-new street signs and all the corporateness that has sprung up around campus (Starbucks, Chipotle, and the like). Then we hit the highway and headed toward home, by way of Perrysburg.

It was still a little chilly to be walking around outside, but we made the best of it. Sort of. We went into Lane Bryant first, and left without buying one item. All of their "spring fashions" looked like the 70s and the 80s had a fat baby — the blouses all flaunted the worst patterns possible, and I couldn't find much of anything I would wear. Then we walked to Maggie Moo's, the ice cream place, since we'd never been there — and, for once, we realized that ice cream really wasn't calling to us. Then we stopped into J. Jill, just because I'd never been there before. At first, I thought I'd finally come home, because all the clothes looked like something I would wear; then I looked at the price tag on a particularly stylish skirt, and I promptly headed for the door after reading the $100 price tag. Somehow, we even managed to not really enjoy the bookstore: neither of us really had an agenda, and none of the magazines or manga or anything really caught our eye. So we just went home.

Well, that sucked.

Surprisingly enough, Sunday was a completely different story.

Aaron had heard that the Value City Department Store in Maumee was having a closing sale, and that the whole store was some ridiculous percentage off. He heard right, and we had a great time just browing the aisles for cheap awesomeness. We left Value City with a non-stick pan (from the collection of Rachael Ray), a decorative basket, a new purse for me, a pair of very thirsty and soft microfiber dishtowels, and three very awesome pairs of shoes for me, of which this is but one:

Our cashier was a character, and she topped off the whole experience by talking about how she'd heard about cooking cabbage and noodles for the first time that weekend, when someone else had bought a non-stick pan and told her that was what they were planning to make in said pan. This woman was an absolute hoot.

But the day kept going! After that, we swung past a gelato place for our first-ever taste of gelato (and, boy, was it yummy), followed by a trip two doors down to Avenue, where I bought myself the clothes I had been hoping to find at Lane Bryant the day before. I now have two more pairs of work/dress pants, a knit sweater, and a hooded spring jacket. Oh, and a nice lady in line behind me gave me a couple of coupons that saved me $17. Score!

So, last weekend was quite the odd dichotomy of suck and awesome. All in all, though, I think the awesome outweighed the suck.

Our Spelling May "Suprise" You

Seen Tuesday on weather.com:

As usual, I found the typo.

An Open Letter to Joseph, Whom I Met While Walking

Dear Joseph,

After having had some time to consider our random encounter this afternoon, I feel compelled to let you know that I'll be standing you up on your fifty-second birthday (April 11). I will also make a point of staying away from the meeting spot you designated when my birthday rolls around (April 22). Please allow me to explain why.

Firstly: starting a conversation with, "You're a pretty girl..." is generally considered creepy by girls everywhere, pretty or no. However, I was willing to engage in conversation with you simply because I'm not good at being rude and ignoring people. Plus, after your comment about how you'd like to grow your hair long like mine and bleach it blond, I thought our conversation would be harmless, brief, and amusing.

Secondly: handshakes are acceptable, even impressive. But please let go after said handshake. Talking at length whilst still holding the hand, then pulling the handshakee into a hug is generally considered improper when both parties are complete strangers. Above all, attempting to kiss a complete stranger on the mouth is highly improper, and attempting to tongue-kiss a stranger after she pushes away from your on-the-mouth kiss is grounds for a knee in the crotch. You should consider yourself ultimately lucky that all I did was give an emphatic "no" and push away.

Thirdly: Smelling like beer is not a good way to get to know a professional who happens to be on her lunch break, even if she has admitted to you that she likes to drink on occasion.

Fourthly: Declaring that you need a girlfriend and then asking your new acquaintance if she is single is not a particularly suave move. Upon her assertion that she is in fact NOT single, it is equally unsuave to answer that your new acquaintance's significant other "doesn't need to know."

So, Joseph, I do apologize if I led you on, but I won't be meeting you for either of our birthdays. In fact, I will likely take an alternate walking route on both of those days. If you ever attempt to touch me again, please be forewarned that I've promised my husband that I'll call the cops on you.

Best of luck to you, and I hope your Mom and her new boyfriend are doing well.

Most Sincerely,
Diana (the girl with the long hair and the knit kitty hat)

Stop The World - I Want To Get Off

There are things that must be done. I made myself dinner, and I have to wash the dinner dishes. I need to assemble tomorrow's lunch. I really should look for the 401(k) rollover form from Sky Bank, since I'll be taxed a jillion dollars or something if they end up cutting me a check directly.

Besides those things, though, I have no intention of being productive tonight. That includes blogging about my Chicago trip.

My brain won't stop thinking about the server error message I got just before I left work today. I don't know how I broke the dev server, and I don't know how to fix it. I'm usually so good at not bringing work home with me; but tonight, it just won't be denied.

I shouldn't feel like I need a vacation already. Should I?

Ouch.

I was running late this morning, as usual. Grabbed my purse and went out to the car through the garage, also as usual. (We only have a one-car garage, and two cars, so the one that's most often used gets parked in the driveway.)

I hit the button for the garage door, and it took its sweet time to open. No big surprise there. I strode through the garage, past the Contour, and ducked under the opening door.

And clocked myself on the garage door.

...

Yes, my head still hurts.

Christmas Eve Checklist

Aaron's and my presents are opened.
Rock Band has been played.
My new 22" widescreen monitor has been set up.
The zucchini-chocolate cake is ready to go.
The sausage cake is baked, glazed and cooling.
The remaining presents are wrapped.
The directions to Uncle Pete's house have been unearthed from the Kia.

All is well. Merry Christmas, all.

Responsible Decisions

Having received severance and retention pay from my former employer, then having landed a job relatively soon after, I recently found myself with several thousand dollars burning a hole in my ING Direct savings account.

So many possibilities flooded my imagination. Another vacation to Japan? Or a trip to Ireland? Or maybe someplace else?

Alas, the grown-up part of me seized hold and reminded me that I have several thousand dollars in credit card debt that should really be paid down.

That's not saying that this Christmas won't be more kick-ass than usual, of course. There will also be a dishwasher in our future. And perhaps the professional installation of some ceiling fans, in view of the astronomical cost of installing central air in a house with no ductwork.

Generally, though, responsible finances reign. Oh, well.

Mrs. Grumpy-Pants

I tried to figure out my database reporting app all day, but was still confuddled by day's end.

I left work extremely hungry, thanks to the apparently under-nourishing lunch I packed this morning. I guess a breakfast banana, brown rice with salsa and cheese, sugar-free pudding and a small yogurt just aren't enough to keep me going. My plans to go to aikido were therefore thwarted, being that I required more sustenance than could be had in the five minutes I'd have at home before leaving for keiko.

One bowl of whole wheat rotini and tuna later — plus a bowl of Chocolatey Special K for "dessert" — I'm feeling sated.

Now I'm cold and tired, but don't want to go to bed too early. That just means that tomorrow's workday would come that much sooner.

Did I mention that Aaron's Xbox 360 red-ringed last week? That's a good month round trip until he gets a fixed Xbox. No vegging out in the recliner with Carcassonne or Backgammon or Catan or Puzzle Fighter. It's harder to veg out with a Wii game, since they all seem to require actual movement and interaction. :-)

Jeebus, I'm tired.

Just say no to the call of the refrigerator...

Shopping Spree

Yesterday, Aaron and I went down to the local GameStop so he could pick up some used video games during their buy-2-get-1-free sale. While we were in the strip mall, we just so happened to notice that there was a clothing store next door for sizes 14 and up. Not sure how I missed that, after living in the area for almost four years, but there it was.

Since I had been saying I needed more business casual attire, and since I'd gone into the game store with Aaron, he convinced me to go into the plus size clothing store and get myself some work clothes.

Aaron actually found the stretchy black button-down shirt, and I think he saw the cable sweater first, too. I know he pointed out the red pullover (which is a darker red IRL). I wasn't sure about the wraparound shirt, but it actually slims me quite a bit.

In addition to the four shirts, I got two microfiber underwire bras and one wireless bra. Thanks to my interest in this sports bra (before I realized it was a $65 sports bra), I'd recently re-measured myself to determine my correct bra size, which is actually an odd and difficult-to-find combination of band and cup sizes. Avenue had it, though, no problem.

I ended up spending nearly $200 on four shirts and three bras. Really, though, in the grand scheme of women's clothes, and especially plus sizes, that's not too bad. And now I have some classier business casual that isn't looking like it's past its prime.

Next time, though, I'll have to get some pants.

Giving Thanks

I am thankful for my new job, which is helping me grow both personally and professionally.
I am thankful for my loving husband, who supports me in everything I do.
I am thankful for my house, in which I feel safe and at home.
I am thankful for our two cars, which help us get to work and other places.
I am thankful for my health, without which life would be a lot more stressful and uncertain.
I am thankful for my glasses, which allow me to see clearly to read and drive and live.
I am thankful for confusion, which prompts me to seek out answers.
I am thankful for the internet, which helps me locate the answers I am seeking.
I am thankful for Huntington Bank, whose acquisition of Sky Bank spurred me to seek a new job.
I am thankful for my friends, who are understanding and supportive.
I am thankful for my bed, which is much more comfortable than an air mattress or a sleeping bag.
I am thankful for my family, who reminds me who I am and where I came from.
I am thankful for Riverview Elementary, whose Gifted program first developed my interest in computers.
I am thankful for Mary (Bindis) Franzosa, who introduced me to my husband nearly 12 years ago.
I am thankful for readers who leave comments, who assure me that I am relevant and interesting.

My Day So Far

8:51am - Alarm goes off, reminding me that I want to go to aikido at 10am. I roll over and go back to sleep.

10:45am - I realize that I need to leave soon to take Sensei's digital recorder back to the dojo while someone is still there and the door is unlocked. Get up, get dressed, pull hair back, and drive to dojo.

11:00am - Sensei isn't at the dojo, and a senior student is teaching the class that is just concluding. I put the recorder on Sensei's desk and beat a hasty retreat.

11:10am - Arrive home. Eat breakfast of Chocolatey Special K. Read e-mails and blog entries.

12:00pm - Attempt to wake the husband. Am shot down in favor of continued sleep. Come back downstairs and begin trying to fix my iTunes library (another story entirely).

12:30pm - The husband awakes and showers. Begin working on Zen podcast.

1:15pm - Lunch: one breaded, stuffed cordon bleu chicken breast, cooked by Aaron.

1:30pm - Resume editing podcast.

2:00pm - Upload podcast. Send e-mail to Sensei with a link and some potential show notes. Begin backing up CDs with drum corps photos and other materials onto my computer in preparation for sending them to the new Executive Director. Alternate computer availability between WinRAR and iTunes.

3:00pm - Backups complete. Take break to watch Aaron play Bioshock. Eat banana.

3:30pm - Receive e-mail that reminds me to check the drum corps forums' permissions. Realize, after some research, that there is no foul play and that I have b0rked the permissions myself. Rig a temporary fix so that members can actually see all the forums.

4:00pm - Forums unb0rked. Begin packing up CDs in a makeshift cardboard sleeve to be mailed to the Executive Director.

4:15pm - CDs packed. Do some more work on iTunes library. Talk with Aaron. Look over my to-do list. Cringe.

5:00pm - Talk with Aaron while he gets ready for work.

5:30pm - Say goodbye to Aaron. Feed the cat. Make dinner. Blog while eating at the computer.

It sure seems like I've been doing a lot of stuff today. So why do I feel like I'm treading water? Aaron says that maybe it's because everything I've done today (just about) has been for someone else, either the corps or the sangha.

Next on the agenda: Go for a walk and listen to the hour-long podcast I just put together (since I missed the actual talk, being out of town). Review some SQL for tomorrow's second interview downtown. Do some more cleaning and organizing, maybe.

Coming up on one month of joblessness. Hmm.

ETA: This article saved my ass the next day. Everything is magically fine again, without having to right-click on every damned file and browse to find its new location. Fantastic!

General Crap

I'm feeling the need to write something, although I don't really have a topic I want to rant about tonight.

Was pretty productive with the job search today. Applied for three jobs, and have a fourth in the works.

Worked on the redesign of my drum corps' website. Am satisfied with the first comp for now. Have some feedback from the Executive Director for some tweaks, which I will apply later this week.

Made some banana-coconut (a.k.a. Banana Cream Pie) candles tonight. At this point, I'm trying to whittle down my supply of old, half-used scents so I can justify buying more new ones. Still undecided about the holiday push for candle sales. It would really necessitate a website overhaul to work the way I want.

Am planning to do NaNoWriMo this year, even if I don't have a job by November. I'll have to split up my time between writing and job-searching (and working on the corps' website), but I think I can do it. I've never won NaNo before (i.e. written 50,000 words in 30 days), and it's about time I did. I have a premise and a few characters' subplots. They'll all come together at the end of my dystopian future society tale. Somehow.

Trying to get my sleep schedule back on track. Getting up before noon is an accomplishment, as is getting to bed before 2am. I'd sleep ten to twelve hours a night if I let myself, and I really don't think that's healthy.

Overall, I'm doing OK. Gained a little weight, am sometimes bored or depressed, but am trying to keep myself upbeat. I can pay bills. I'm relatively healthy. I've had a couple job interviews. I'm OK.

Girlie Time

Today was Heather's last day working for our mutual former employer. Today was also the day that many stores opened in The Shops At Fallen Timbers. Including Lane Bryant. So, after she was done having her exit interview and packing up her desk, we got together and went out for an evening of shopping and general girl-time.

First, we did a round of the mall, going into stores I wouldn't usually even give a second (or first) glance. American Eagle, Pac Sun, the Gap, places like that. We spent an inordinately long time in Bath and Body Works, where I got assaulted by the nice lotion lady — my hand *still* smells like Pomegranate lotion — but where I still purchased two body splash samples, two lotion samples, and a candle with the greatest fresh apple scent (which cost almost as much as all my samples put together).

After B&BW, we hit Lane Bryant, which was our main target of the evening. After standing in the soul-sucking dressing room line twice, I ended up buying one pant suit (brown), one suit jacket (black), one camisole (cream), and a pair of brown trouser socks. Yaye! I have a new interview suit! Two, actually, since the black jacket goes well over a black knee-length dress I bought online recently.

We took our haul out to the car, and went back for more malling. Our next and final stop was Payless, which was having a buy-one-get-one-half-off sale. I bought a pair of patent-leather flats and a pair of brown moccasins with a polka-dot accent bow. Super cute, both. I almost bought my first pair of heels since high school, but they only had it in size 11, and I needed a size smaller. I would have relearned to walk in heels for these shoes, totally.

Our evening had started around 4:30pm. By this time, it was well after 9pm — time for dinner. We drove back toward my house and went to Lone Star for a massive and yummy late dinner.

This really needs to be a monthly occurrence. We both enjoyed ourselves, had fun girlie time, and bought stuff. Maybe next time I needn't spend $200 on clothes and shoes and lotion and dinner... but I sure had a fun time doing it.

Guilty Pleasures

I don't ever look up exactly when it will be broadcast, but sometimes I'll flip past Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team 2... and watch the whole show.

Honestly, it reminds me of drum corps in a way. It's just that what they do is different from what we did, and even different from what the colorguard in the corps did. But it's rhythmically-based physical routines in unison, and something about that really catches my attention, no matter what genre it is. Maybe because I know what kind of concentration and memorization and muscle memory that takes, on top of the sheer physical nature of what you're doing. At least I didn't have to worry about my figure in order to make it into drum corps.

I think the show is also helping me to break through my jealous stereotypes of skinny chicks: the successful cheerleaders have to not only have flawless bodies and pretty faces, but they are actually judged on intelligence, not to mention their ability to dance and to learn choreography quickly and accurately. The dense and ditzy ones don't stand a chance.

I remain fixed in my assertion that many skinny hos are dumb blonde fluff chicks. Still, watching these ladies learn choreography and be both athletic and artistic makes me realize that I can't jump to conclusions.

Plus... even though I'm a girl, I still can appreciate the eye candy. And, really, what girl wouldn't like to fantasize about herself looking like a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader?

Don't lie.

Come On, Baby, Finish What You Started

I've been droning on about aikido a little too much lately, so I suppose I should write about something else already. I'm sitting here at work, with a painfully light workload, so this seems as good a time as any to write a blog entry (via e-mail to myself, of course).

Not that I have anything particularly pressing to blog about, mind you. Most of my "free" time lately has been spent job-hunting, nursing my pulled muscle, or escaping into Civilization IV.

Speaking of the job hunt: I've gone through my list, submitted my resume for those jobs I hadn't yet, followed up on past inquiries, and have started putting the finishing touches on my portfolio. I think I've got the portfolio working in all modern browsers, including Firefox 2, Opera 9, Safari for Windows, IE6 and IE7. Granted, there are a few minor display discrepancies: IE6 has an unfortunate space at the bottom of the page which activates the scroll bar, and Opera (or is it Safari?) doesn't highlight the items in my submenus. Those are minor details, though, and I can deal with the differences for now. Now, I'm going through all my featured projects and including examples and samples and links for each. I plan to have my portfolio complete by the end of next weekend.


In other news of the me, I ordered my very first Little Black Dress™ and a couple pairs of work-friendly Skechers online. I need to get myself down to Lane Bryant and spend a decent amount of money updating my wardrobe, although I feel funny either a.) shopping alone or b.) shopping with Aaron, and I don't really have any local girlfriends to shop with. What I'd really like to buy is a brown tailored pantsuit to go with my new shoes. (Wow... matching an outfit to a pair of shoes? That sounds unusually girly of me.)

Last time I really went ballistic on clothes shopping, I sorely needed a wardrobe update due to having lost, oh, fifty pounds? Now, though, I'm just tired of wearing the same crap to work all the time. Of course, I should probably hold off on buying work clothes until I get a new job and find out what the dress code is there. I'd hate to update my business casual wardrobe, just to find that I can wear Threadless shirts and jeans to work -- or, worse, that I have to go out and purchase an actual professional wardrobe, with multiple suits and accessories.


Also: Aaron and I had an in-depth conversation this weekend about my ability to finish what I start. I am absolutely notorious for starting a project, either coming to a hard part or just getting bored with it, and dropping it for the next Flavor of the Month. Websites, fiction, genealogy research, major cleaning, all have fallen prey to this habit of mine. He was particularly concerned with me finishing my portfolio website before I get involved in something else -- namely, instructing marching band for the first time. He reminded me that I don't do anything by halves -- quite like him, now that I think about it. I immerse myself in whatever new project I undertake: genealogy, candle-making, learning SQL, weight-loss, drum corps, aikido, whatever. I don't just try something or dabble in something. For this reason, I've specifically avoided starting any new projects, even though I've wanted to work on my fiction and genealogy research in the past months.

I might have to gracefully and humbly bow out of the marching band gig, even though I don't want to. I can see things that need fixing in the band, things that I might be able to help with, but I don't know if I should really be dedicating literally an entire evening a week to band, plus a good part of another evening a week to aikido.

I have some time to think it over, though, and to finish my portfolio before the next rehearsal I'm slated to attend. We'll see how things pan out.

Turning Over A New Mental Leaf

I could have had a shitty evening. My portfolio was throwing fits at IE6, and I'm unlikely to get any work done on it tomorrow or Wednesday, as I have evening plans both days. I was feeling a little stressed.

Instead of freaking out? I meditated for 15 minutes. I chatted with friends over IM, which I haven't done in ages. I posted a comment to a friend's blog that was cathartic in its own way. Responded to my bestest Amy-friend's e-mail from a couple weeks ago. And I figured out my coding problem, for the most part.

I'm feeling pretty good right now. Chilled. Relaxed. At peace with myself.

For the most part.

Well, Shit.

I was just sitting here, getting into some portfolio coding, when I heard something. Something like tornado sirens.

That's my cue to turn on the TV and check the local news. From the bit I heard and saw, Lucas County is under a Tornado Warning and will be hit by the storm in question in about 25 minutes.

Weather.com says the storm is "capable of producing a tornado," and that it also is capable of producing destructive straight line winds.

Hmm. Should be an awesome storm. I'm looking forward to it.

As for my portfolio... I'll just be sure to save often.

Update, 7:15pm: As promised, awesome storm. Too short, but awesome. Sat outside on the front step until it started to downpour. Sat in the living room with a candle and Channel 13 News until the danger of tornadoes passed. Now, I'm back to the portfolio... but with a window open.

Another Weird Dream

I've mentioned this before, but I hate having effed-up dreams wherein Aaron and I have weird relationship issues. Even though I know we're perfectly fine in our marriage, it always makes me wonder if my subconscious is seeing something I'm not.

Last night, dream-Aaron and I got married after having done a courthouse wedding a week or so before. (That was an odd dream sequence in many ways, but not particularly disturbing.) Then we went out and partied, but the bar was playing a song that Aaron associated with bad memories from high school, so we left and went elsewhere. Later on, he left me alone to go hang out with some guy friends and have a bachelor party of sorts. I wandered the streets alone, and found him some time afterward standing in a doorway with a friend or two, smoking a freshly-lit cigarette -- which I immediately called him on.

Both before and after the bachelor party, I remember that we had some serious and deep dream-conversations about us. I don't remember what they were about, specifically, but I awoke disturbed and uneasy.

This couldn't all stem from the fact that I didn't do the dishes last night like I told Aaron I would... could it?

Lonely

Aaron went back to work today, after two weeks of vacation. Two weeks of coming home to my honey at 5:15pm and not having him leave for work fifteen minutes later. Two weeks, granted, of being less productive than I should have in the evenings, thanks to spending quality time with my honey.

I should be happy tonight, though. I have a job lead that is (bad news) a good 40-minute commute away, but (good news) would pay literally double my current salary. I should be so effing stoked right now.

Instead? I'm in a weird, lonely, unmotivated mood. I'll probably curl up in front of the Food Network shortly, and call my evening a wash.

Home On The Range

We go camping at Harrison Lake tomorrow afternoon. Neither myself nor Aaron have been really camping since Scouts back in elementary school 1, so this should be fun.

We've got our s'mores action going on, our new king-size air mattress to go in our never-used dome tent we got as a wedding present back in 2003, our lawn chairs and bug spray and swimsuits and sunscreen and everything (hopefully) to help us get our camping fun on.

I hope this doesn't suck. This is more of a trial run, hence why we're only camping for one night. If we enjoy camping, maybe we'll do it more often. Until we're sure, though, 3pm Sunday through noonish Monday should be a sufficient getaway.

Update, Sunday @ noon: It's been raining since 8am. Chance of scattered thunderstorms all afternoon, all evening, and all night. Prospects aren't looking good... but maybe we'll pack up the car and head out, anyway, to see what Harrison Lake is like. We'll see how things pan out....

1 This, of course, is not including the ill-fated October camping trip of the girls of 2nd floor Kohl Hall back in 1999. Amy and I were the only people with competent fire-building skills, and our RA had to purchase firewood from a neighboring RV camper. An unseasonably warm October turned coats that night, and none of us got any sleep that chilly autumn night. What had started as an "I don't want to *know* if you have alcohol in your tent, *wink-wink*" party night ended as a 5am "Let's get back to the dorm and get some sleep" morning.

I Did It All For The Nookie

My husband is on vacation for the next two weeks. We should be having snoo-snoo EVERY NIGHT, given that we usually see one another for a grand total of 15 minutes on the weekdays, and this Evening Togetherness thing is quite a treat.

Instead? Yesterday I made myself too much dinner, and ended up too full to... well, you know. This evening, I've been totally exhausted, on top of having the most fascinatingly uncomfortable gas cramps. (TMI? Yeah, I know.)

So, yeah. I feel like a doofus. Tomorrow is aikido and zen meditation, both of which I should really attend, since I didn't go at all last week. But that means I won't get home until 9pm. Assuming I don't feel like this tomorrow evening, that is; if I do, there's no way in hell I'm going to aikido.

Dammit. I go off The Pill to get my libido back and stop being so goddamn cranky, and now we can't even manage to have Happy Time at all.

*sigh*

I have another week and a half to get my mojo going. Plus a camping trip on Sunday. If that doesn't at least engender some grab-ass... I dunno.

Ambiguity

When blogs first went mainstream several years back, there were a couple of complete strangers whose blogs intrigued me. Not because we had a lot in common — I don't know that we had *anything* in common — but because their designs were eyecatching, and mainly because the authors were so intentionally vague. The ambiguity of their posts made me wonder about them, and read more. Eventually, I found answers to some of my more basic questions: age, orientation, relationship status, things like that. But the topics of each post remained purposefully unknown.

I don't have very many vague strangers whose blogs I read anymore; most of them are either not vague at all (except with given names), or they've gone AWOL. One person whose blog I used to frequent has stopped blogging altogether; I grew bored with another's continual daily two-line ultra-depressed teasers with no informational or emotional payoff. With the advent of friends-locked entries and (relatively) secure social networking sites (and a distinct lack of interesting design in free blogs, which was what drew me to view certain blogs in the first place), there's little chance I'll ever completely recapture the odd sort of voyeurism I once enjoyed.

Every now and then, though, I read an intentionally vague entry by an acquaintance or a complete stranger, and I'm reminded of that delicious confusion in putting the puzzle together. "Isn't he living with his wife? Don't they have a kid? Why is he mentioning seeking out sexual relationships, then? Who is [insert cryptic name here], and how does he know her?" And so forth.

Many people are more guarded about their secrets than I.

Quick Weekend Recap

Friday night: watched webcast of J. K. Rowling reading the first chapter of Deathly Hallows at midnight British Summer Time (which was 7pm Eastern). Waited a few minutes after that, and couldn't take the suspense anymore. Downloaded HP7 from a favorite bittorrent website, and read the first 20 chapters before the book was officially released in the U.S.

Saturday: Aikido Basics Seminar from 9am to noon. Lunch at the Garden Cafe with Aaron, then back to the dojo at 3pm for a brief class and kyu testing. I wasn't testing this time, but it was valuable to watch the testing process, as I should be testing this fall. Hung out at the dojo after class, but didn't partake in the "pot luck." (There was some food, but the pot luck was mainly comprised of different kinds of alcohol. Sake, microbrews, champagne...) Got home just after 6pm and spent the evening at home with Aaron. (Deathly Hallows arrived from Amazon with Saturday's mail, BTW.)

Today: Aaron's off doing grocery shopping right now. Later this afternoon, we'll be meeting a co-worker/friend of Aaron's, and we'll all be driving up to Detroit for a free festival featuring They Might Be Giants. The one chance I had to see TMBG live, at BGSU, the show was cancelled due to lack of interest (supposedly), so I'm especially looking forward to tonight.

For now, though, I'm going to be reading some more Harry Potter until Aaron gets back from the store.

Making Things Plain

1. I am, in fact, currently depressed. This is for a number of reasons, both biological and circumstantial. Yes, I am PMS-ing, but I am also surrounded by people at my work who either a.) have interviews lined up, or b.) have definite jobs lined up. This is a big part of my depression, being that my ego thinks I'm so much more worthy than many of these people. (James: not you, necessarily, although I do admit to a touch of jealousy at your pimp-ass DBA gig.)

   Yes, I know that the solution is to apply for more jobs, and to eventually secure one. This brings me to:

2. I have now officially applied for seven jobs. Of these, I have received one "hire" (just got the check for last month's task of worthiness today) for undervalued part-time website coding; one request for an interview that never got to the scheduling stage for some reason (on their part); and one polite and standard e-mail confirmation. I have no room to bitch until I reach at least one dozen apps out, and until I've followed up with every blessed one of them at least once. I haven't applied for anything I haven't gone all googley-eyed for when I read it, since I don't want to settle on another sucky job. Yet.
3. My computer now has 2GB of RAM. This makes me somewhat happier. You want systems experience, do ya? I installed my new RAM in probably three minutes, and that was including the minute that I stared stupidly at the RAM before I remembered that there's only one way it'll fit in the slot. That was $130 well spent.

Addendum to #1: One person at my work chose: option c.) quitting work entirely to be with her newborn son. She's one of those who is very open with her feelings, and has shared with everyone her incredulity at the amount of love she has for her son. Being that she sits one cube over from me, the sound of her joy is rarely out of my range of hearing. This, of course, makes me sad. (If you don't know why, you missed this post in January.) I think this has a big part to play in my current depression, whether consciously or subconsciously.

All I know is that I'm getting seriously pissed at being so depressed. My depression always manifests in overeating and not giving a shit (about overeating and about Life In General). Therefore, even being pissed about being depressed is only mildly helpful, until the anger and frustration outweighs the depression. In any case, I wouldn't want to be around me right now.

Quick Update

Friday: Day off of work. Slept in. Opened National City bank accounts. Went to Pietasters show in Cleveland. Good openers, rowdy audience, great showing by the band. Awesome show. Bought a $10 shirt. Got a $10 parking ticket for a meter that ran out just 20 minutes before we got out of the show. We paid the damn thing $1.75 for the four hours it gave us, and I'm pretty sure it shorted us some time. At least it was only ten bucks, though, even if the cop had to have been sitting there and waiting for the meter to run out.

Saturday: Afternoon in BG. Madhatter is closing July 14th; it's the end of an era. Cosmo's coffee shop (where Aaron and I had our first date) is closed, too, among other former BG staples. Outskirts of town are booming, though. Had ice cream at the Marble Slab Creamery downtown. Party at James's house in the evening. Food and adult beverages and music and fireworks out in the country. Good times.

Sunday: Took a closet full of stuff to the thrift. Played Wii. Ordered an ice cream maker online. Made fettuccine alfredo for dinner. Normal laundry and shopping bit. Chilled-out sort of day.

Today: James's last day at Sky before going to his new job at BGSU. Spent the afternoon manning the front desk, and so managed to miss most of his desk-cleaning spree. Skipped aikido in favor of job-hunting this evening. Got sidetracked by an alert about some LSM forum spam that desperately needed taking care of. Ended up not being able to submit one specific job app yet because I need full reference info.

And that's the weekend in a nutshell.

When I get a new job, maybe I can do like James and fabricate myself a week vacation between gigs. I shouldn't feel like I need another vacation... but I do.

Fickle Brain

So, for the past few days, I've been trying to get myself onto a decent evening schedule. Turn off the computer around 9:30pm, make tomorrow's lunch, pick out tomorrow's clothes, read for a while, and have lights out by 11pm. It's worked pretty well, and I've been waking up more refreshed (if not always on time, as per usual).

Tonight, I'd like to stay up later, since I'm taking the day off work tomorrow. (We're going to a Pietasters show in Cleveland tomorrow evening, and there's NO WAY I'd be able to stay up for a late show if I went to work.) I spent my evening playing Wii — oh, by the way, Aaron bought a Wii this week! — and just realized that I missed my favorite TV show again. D'oh! At any rate, I thought that I could stay up a little later, do some websurfing (or something more productive), or maybe play some computer games now that I'm done with Wii Sports... but no. My brain is all, "OK, time to start shutting down for the night!"

Dammit. Why must you be catching onto this schedule thing so well?

Dinner Date

Went to dinner with some former co-workers after work today: Loni and Angie, with whom I worked in Lockbox; and Jen, who worked in Lockbox after I'd left, but also worked in Loan Corrections with me until recently. We looked at Jen's wedding pictures and my Japan pictures, and talked about our job prospects after the upcoming merger.

I hadn't really been in the mood to be social until I got there, but I'm glad I went. I'd forgotten how fun it can be to swap stories and just socialize with people other than Aaron's friends. Granted, I do like Aaron's friends, and most of them I can count as my own friends by now. It's a little different to go out with The Girls, though, and talk about old times and future plans.

I don't think I'm "outing" Loni by publishing the fact that she's planning to start a Lockbox business of her own in short order. She's talked to an attorney, potential clients, Sky's HR department, and the company that develops the processing software, and she seems to have her ducks all in a row. It's awesome that she has a plan for the remainder of her pre-retirement years (and she does have a while yet), but it's funny that she's going back into the business that we all so vehemently tried to escape. She knows what kinds of mistakes not to make, though, and how fast she can grow, how many accounts she can take on, things like that. I'll be curious to keep tabs on how her business fares.

Angie noticed that I'd lost weight since I'd seen her last — looking at my handy-dandy historical weight chart, I see that I've lost about fifteen pounds since then. It made me feel pretty good that, despite my uber-slow weight loss of late, she noticed as soon as she saw me that I was looking slimmer than before. I also mentioned that I've been doing strength training and following the Body for Life program... then I ate a shrimp quesadilla while she stuck with the taco salad. Meh.

All in all, I enjoyed my visit with my old co-workers. Yeah... sometimes I forget that there are other people out there who really do give a damn.

Ack.

Feeling quite busy. Have job-hunting-related projects to complete. Have websites to maintain. Have to CLEAN MY DESK OMG. Only getting one major task accomplished per night, and blogging about Japan is falling to the wayside (for now).

I'm proud of myself that I've still been working out every evening, without fail (except on my Saturday off), and have continued to pre-pack my lunches for the next day.

If I ever manage to get caught up with all the things I want to accomplish in my life, that'll only be because I'm dead.

Mom's In Da House

Mom arrived on Thursday evening to start her house-sitting and cat-sitting tenure. She'll be here while we're gone, then probably hang out with us for another week or so before going back to Texas. It'll be nice to have her around for a while, although it *will* change up our normal routine. Sometimes you need that, though.

I am now officially on vacation. I don't have to be back to work for a week and a half. Woo-hoo!

Birthday Weekend 2007

I hadn't been going to blog about this weekend, until my cube-buddy James mentioned how much stuff I'd been telling him that I did this weekend. I hadn't really thought about it, but I suppose Birthday #31 was a pretty jam-packed weekend.

Saturday began with a little evilness: lunch at the Happy Rose Buffet. Afterward, we went next door to Lowe's and purchased a square shovel and potting soil. (I need to remove the dead grass from the edges of our sidewalk, and I need to repot my houseplants.) Then we made our weekly pilgrimage to Goodwill, and of course found nothing of interest.

Earlier in the week, we'd gotten an advertisement from Banner Mattress and Furniture in the mail, touting their latest "No Interest, No Payments Until..." deal. The magic year: 2011. Four years to pay off a minimum of $1000 of furniture. We are in need of some new furniture — and not just "new-to-us" furniture like we've been using all our adult lives. It's time to grow up and actually buy a couch.

So we did.

We meandered around Banner Mattress for probably a half hour, deciding on a large sofa, recliner / massager, and an understated dining room table and chairs. The financing didn't work out quite as we'd hoped, and we ended up with one year instead of four to pay off our $1700 of new furnishings, but that's still quite do-able. The couch and dining room set will be delivered sometime on Saturday, and the recliner will arrive in six to eight weeks (we just *had* to special-order the green color instead of taking the burgundy that was in stock). Due to the financing snafu, we ended up being at Banner for much, MUCH longer than we'd originally intended... but that's OK. I think the new furniture's worth the wait. Plus, we got to get all up-close and personal with our intended couch while we waited. :-)

That evening, Aaron took me to birthday dinner at Red Lobster, where I indulged in some lobster and shrimp, and we shared not only stuffed mushrooms as an appetizer, but also the Chocolate Wave for dessert. We then came home and enjoyed a short stroll around the neighborhood, to take in the fantastic weather and get our dinner moving along.

After our walk, Aaron let me open my birthday present.

He got me a new iPod. 30GB. With a screen twice as big as the one on my Mini.

I wasn't expecting that AT ALL. I promptly synched it up to my iTunes, then ordered a belt clip and a nifty brushed aluminum case online. Even with my entire iTunes library on my iPod, it's not even half full. I was swapping out music left and right on my Mini, to keep the songs I liked and still switch out some fresh music. This is going to be friggin' sweet.

And that was Saturday.

Sunday was a bit more normal, more low-key, but no less enjoyable. Lunch was grilled BBQ burgers at home. After lunch was a trip to Oak Openings for an hour-long walk on the nature trail. On the way home from Oak Openings, I caved in and requested a stop at Dairy Queen, where we both got Blizzards. (Smalls, of course, although they still had 61g of sugar apiece. Hell, it was my birthday. I didn't care.)

Then the day went into the more ordinary: I did laundry, and Aaron left to do shopping. When he came back, he made me peanut butter chicken for at-home birthday dinner, we relaxed for a while, and we had birthday snuggle-time.

Overall, it was an exceptional birthday weekend, and not just because Aaron got me an iPod. ^_^

Productive

Finished the initial roll of film in the Brownie Starmite. Today was appropriately sunshiny, so I took identical photos to yesterday's overcast ones, plus some others to pad out the roll. Wrote a check to Dwayne's Photo for $14, packed up the film, and will be shipping it off tomorrow morning. I expect to have twelve 4" x 4" prints in my hot little hands by May 1st.

Put away the mess of clothes on the floor by the bed. Went into the small bedroom and arranged all of our board games on a small plastic shelving unit in the closet. (Damn, we have a lot of board games. Trivial Pursuit especially.) Moved my empty steamer trunk from the small bedroom to beside my nightstand. Sometime in the near future, I'll be going through the linen closet and moving blankets into the trunk to make room for the new sheets I intend to purchase.

Submitted the new freelance site to Google for spidering and indexing. I'm planning to use a Google search for the site search, so a good spidering by Google would be a definite plus. Still have a lot to do... I'm not going to end up getting everything done this week that I told them I would. I knew I was giving myself a mighty tall order, what with the laundry list of stuff I had yet to do. Not to worry. It'll get done well before the Japan trip. Hopefully by the end of April, if not sooner.

Paid my credit card bills. A simple task, but still one that makes me feel... satisfied? Relieved? Accomplished? Meh. It's done, anyway.

Paying bills is going to get more interesting in July, when Sky changes over to Huntington's payroll system. Bi-weekly instead of semi-monthly. This will take some getting used to, after being paid on the 15th and the last day of the month for the past 4½ years.

Facebook Is Evil.

Over Easter, I got talking about social networking sites with Aaron's cousins. The consensus was that Facebook was better than MySpace. OK, I thought, but no one I know is on Facebook.

How could I have been so wrong?

After having Facebook scour my Gmail contacts for Facebook friends, then me perusing *their* friends for mutual friends, plus searching for random friends of my own, I'm discovering that I probably know just as many people on Facebook as on MySpace. Which still isn't many in the grand scheme of things, but still. I've spent way, WAY too much time exploring Facebook in the past couple of days, instead of doing something more productive. Like finishing my freelance project.

Current count:
- Livejournal, 8 actual people-I-know friends.
- MySpace, 25 actual people-I-know friends.
- Facebook, 7 10 12 actual people-I-know friends (so far... some are pending)

Like I tell everyone who dogs on MySpace: I like to keep in touch with people. If everyone wrote their own blogs on blogspot or LJ or whatever, I'd go read them. Since so many people are all in one place, though, it's easier to join up there and catch up with them all at once. Hooray to Facebook for letting me import my blog's RSS feed, too. Makes my job easier. Don't need the usual "I don't post here b/c I have a blog" post.

And, with that, I'm done for the night. Nothing useful accomplished, except an attempt to book a ryokan room. And finding a few more long-lost friends.

Signs of Spring

As I sat on my couch, reading my cooking magazine, a sound came in through the open window.

The ice cream truck. Playing the ever-popular ice cream truck tune, "Turkey in the Straw."

I didn't think 60-ish degrees was warm enough to entice kids to buy ice cream yet, but I've been wrong before. Even so, it's a pleasant enough harbinger of warm weather to come.

Out of Nowhere

Can someone please tell me where I might find the shut-off valve for my left nostril?

kthx.

Diagnosis: Funk

Damn these moods. I really, REALLY need to come up with the wherewithal to jumpstart myself out of a funk, once I recognize said funk.

Turns out that pulling a double-shift of sorts to complete a contracting project is A Bad Idea™, as the project will then have major issues and need to be fixed by someone else before going off to proof. Submitting B-minus work in Real Life has much different connotations than in college. In college, it's just your grade. In Real Life, it's your reputation.

Adding to my funk is the fact that my weight loss has plateaued before it ever really began. Starting March 1st, James and I have been having a friendly wager as to who can amass the most SparkPoints in the month of March. It's less of a weight-loss contest and more of a contest of wills. Who is more involved in reaching their fitness goals? Right now, it's James, totally. We were neck and neck for the first week of March, then I started lagging behind because of the same reasons I always stall out: I have other things to do, or I'm in a funk and can't make myself exercise, or lack of planning convinced me to make a fast and evil dinner (like tuna mac).

My next dietary step is to increase my fiber and my protein. My next exercise step is to get back to doing it every day, like I'd been so enjoying for a week there. My next webstuff step is to do some minor updates on the LSM site, then complete a working demo of my freelance client's website (the stylesheets, not all the content yet) by Sunday night.

Tonight was a night for myself to chill. And for cooking. Tomorrow's potluck will have at least two reasonably healthy dishes: mine and James's.

*le sigh*

On Blogging

I was looking through my old archives today, seeking out the tattoo of my name in Elvish that I really wanted to get back in 2002:

when it occured to me that I've been doing this blogging thing for quite a while now. Nonstop. Since September 2002, and sporadically before that, before blogging had a name (that I knew of, anyway). Reading Dooce's entry from today about the anniversary of her own website made me think about it again.

Sometimes I wonder if I should be trying to "make it" in the blogosphere. If I should get some Google Ads going on, and write more carefully-crafted entries that read more like essays on Life than normal journal entries. And I realize that this is still what it's always been: my journal, but online, for my long-distance friends to read.

One of the main reasons I started this, besides to get back into daily writing and journaling, was to keep in touch with all my scattered friends in Michigan, Missouri, California, Illinois, Arizona, and various places in Ohio, amongst others. That random strangers and new friends find my blog is just a bonus.

Do I wish this thing were bigger and more popular? Not really. Keeps the pressure off. Keeps me honest. Keeps me writing about normal things I'd write about in a normal journal, like how my weight loss is going or what I had for dinner or OMG Japan vacation in the works.

I'm content just being one singular, generally grammatically-correct thread in the giant tapestry that is the blogosphere. You all read my drivel, and comment on occasion, and that's all I'm really here for.

Good Day.

Proof (first draft) of contracting project? Done in three hours' work. Hopefully my peeps don't find too much wrong with it; it was my first project, after all, and I'm sure I screwed *something* up. Still, though, I got it done by the imposed deadline, and I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything drastically wrong.

Got my annual merit raise today. I'm content with what I got. Other people, not so much. I'm trying to be supportive, while still feeling slightly guilty that I'm happy with my own pay increase.

Despite extreme soreness in the quads, I did my beginning kickboxing workout today. Yesterday I did PUSH DVD #2, Session #2, and really focused on my legs, since my knees are not currently giving me crap. (Maybe that glucosamine / chondroitin supplement I've been taking really does do something.) Tomorrow, I'm planning to do Yoga For Dummies and get my stretching on.

Started round two of thumbnails for my freelance client. Their favorite wasn't exactly mine, but I'm rolling with it. I'm conbining my idea with some of their existing marketing materials, and that's got a few more related ideas working in my brain.

Getting into an evening groove that I'm enjoying. See Aaron off to work, change clothes, feed the cat, check for vitally *important* e-mail (like, from a client), start dinner (if it'll take a while), work out, eat dinner and watch national news & Good Eats, work on something important, then work on stuff that isn't so important (like blogging).

I should go shower and go to bed right about now, but I'm interested in checking out the special on Bob Woodruff tonight (ABC news anchor who recovered from a head injury from an IED in Iraq), so I'm gonna go veg in front of the TV for a little while.

I'm feeling pretty good. I feel weird about feeling good. And that's kind of sad on some level.

Bouncing Back

Weird day. Not very busy, but what an emotional rollercoaster. And for no good reason, really. Read on for my rambling narrative of the day...

read more...

Immensely Satisfying

#1. Walking into the post office, surveying the line of suits waiting to mail stuff on their lunchbreak, then simply dropping my online-postage-bedecked package into the package slot and turning on my heel. Total time at the post office: 45 seconds.

#2. Rain. Not snow, but rain.

In other news, I can't afford to have very many of these totally exhausted evenings. Not with two concurrent web projects going on. Hopefully I can have a productive evening tomorrow, getting some detailed thumbnails cranked out for my client. Once I get set up and trained on the use of their online time logging system, I'm going to need to shift gears to get the other contracting project done. I think I can juggle both — again, as long as I can force myself to time-manage properly and not allow myself to be unusually tired in the evening.

That said, I'm going to bed early tonight. Like, now.

What I Did On My Snow Day

I thought for sure that I'd get *so* much accomplished on my snow day. I had such grand plans.

*sigh*

I made a concerted effort to work on the LSM site, as I appeared to be on a bit of a roll with that. Within the past couple of days, I had locked down the Guest logins so no one can change the passwords on those, or add their own name to the contact info (grrr!). I also made it so that no one can delete an event that already happened, just in case I need to upload photos of that event later, as the photo table relies on the event table to get info about each event. I also adapted the script that displays the available sheet music for download, and changed it around so that my new script (on another page) displays all the board meeting minutes that are uploaded.

I was pretty proud of having done that, so I started working on a couple things this morning. First, I tried changing the upload form to include uploads of meeting minutes, so I wouldn't have to rename and upload all of them myself. I wasn't in the groove, though, and couldn't wrap my mind around all the small changes I was going to have to make. Instead, I thought I'd work on some e-mail forwarding: making a singular e-mail address for the board of directors forward to each member of the board. I tried setting up a mailing list on my personal domain, which was daunting, then went to make sure I could forward an address on the LSM domain to one on my domain. And OMG none of the forwarding I set up would take effect! Not even when I tested it and forwarded the new board e-mail to my personal address. Seriously frustrating. I mean, forwarders don't need to propagate like domains, do they? Why should I have to wait to see if the forwarding works? At any point, I gave up.

Aaron and I had grilled cheese on 100% whole wheat bread for lunch, then he went outside and shoveled the driveway for an hour. In the meantime, I did the dishes, bleached the sink, swept the kitchen floor, and cleared off the dining room table. And listened to Pimsleur's Japanese 1 lesson #2, where I learned to say, "How are you?" and "I'm fine, thanks," along with other things I already knew, like "Good morning," "Good afternoon," "Thank you," and "Goodbye."

After Aaron was done shoveling, we sat together in the living room while he warmed back up, then I posted some stuff to eBay while he talked to a couple friends on the phone and decided whether to go to work tonight.

After Aaron left for work around 5:30pm, the evening turned into something fairly normal. Made dinner, watched the news and Good Eats, and played on teh internets. And here I am.

Not exactly a vacation day, but not exactly a day full of accomplishments, either. Ah, well.

Back To "Normal"

I feel like I'm having the typical winter almost-February depression. I'm not sure if it makes things better or worse that I can point to a source of the depression, for once. It doesn't change anything, knowing there's a reason I feel this way now.

I feel like blogging is kind of pointless, too. I'm either going to be a typical "woe is me, look at how much my life sucks right now" blogger, or I'll be blogging about something absolutely pointless, like games or work or what I fucking ate for lunch (homemade macaroni salad, if you care).

Of course, it's not like I'm going to find anything better to do, like working up my new portfolio site or washing dishes or some shit. I'll just end up sprawled out on the couch, reading the same Star Trek book I've read literally innumerable times since before I was in Junior High, and raiding the refrigerator before next week's renewed weight-loss push talking to Amy on the phone for over two hours.

Depression sucks. Strangely enough, though, it also feels normal. Friday night, alone, with some food and a book and my own personal raincloud to hover over me. I've been here before.

On Working In Finance

Even though it wasn't the post-graduation dream job I'd hoped for, my four-year-plus stint at Sky Bank has helped me learn about the world of finance, which is good. Sometimes I forget how much of what I've learned can be applied to my daily life until someone reminds me.

I wouldn't call it a resolution, exactly, but one of my medium-term goals is to reduce my credit card debt. I have... *does some math* ...over $7500 in credit card debt spread across four cards, with APRs ranging from 13.24% all the way up to 19.80%. This is unacceptable to me at this point in my life, so I decided to start with one and pay it down. I haven't defined my goal yet, i.e. how much and how soon, but I at least have a focus.

Two of my cards have similar balances, but the one with the higher balance has a significantly lower interest rate. I asked Aaron earlier this week which one he would pay down first, and he wasn't much more sure than I was. Today, I asked James at work, and he suggested that I figure out which one was accruing more interest, and pay that one down first.

Holy shit. I *do* know how to calculate that. In my sleep.

So, for each card, I took my balance, multiplied by the rate, divided by 365 days in a year, and multiplied by 31 (actual) days in a month. It might not be the exact same way the credit card companies figure my interest, versus how certain loans work, but it was a ballpark figure that I could use for my own devious purposes.

Turns out that the lower balance, higher APR card accrues just under one dollar more interest per month than the higher balance, lower APR card. So, my initial decision was supported, and I'm on my way to having lower credit card debt. w00t!

Thank you, Sky Bank, for teaching me at least one relatively valuable life skill. That, plus I know how my mortgage works, how checks clear (or don't clear), and how electronic payments are posted. Yay for unexpected jobs?

Firaxis Needs A Proofreader

For Christmas, Amy got me CivCity Rome. I installed it this evening, and have been enjoying learning all about my fun new game. Being a former scholar of Latin, I hold Rome in a special place in my heart. (Mrs. Nemeth TOTALLY would have given me Latin extra credit if I'd brought in this game as proof that the Roman culture still influences today's society.)

However, there is one thing that's really, REALLY bothering me about this game.

The grammar.

Just look at this screengrab:

Tell me, can *you* find all the comma splices and run-on sentences? I can. I propose that the caption should read as follows:

Hail, Quaestor! You do well, and Rome smiles upon you, honoring you with this high rank and title. I would like you to stay on in Capena for a while. The people here are scared and believe their illness brought on by evil spirits. We must show that Roman Gods are stronger. Erect some temples and encourage the locals to marry. This town is important to Rome; let's put some backbone into it.

I tend to be a little comma-happy, setting off all clauses with commas, even those that some grammarians claim can simply attach onto the normal sentence structure. Not everyone is as liberal with their commas as I, although I always have a reason. I also prefer more complex sentence structure than I've rewritten above; being that this is a ten-and-older game, though, and narrated to boot, shorter sentences work better.

Am I a grammar nerd? You betcha. Maybe there's a patch to fix the horrendous sentence structure — I'll have to go see, I suppose.

*sigh* My inner nerd shines through once again...

2006 Wrap-Up, introductory meme

It probably works better on LiveJournal, but I'll do it here anyway: the first line (or few lines) of the first post of each month of 2006.

January: I have so many different ideas queued up for year-end (or New Year's, as it were) lists and essays and whatnot. Unfortunately, I am so unenthused about writing right this moment that none of them are going to happen today.

February: One of my co-workers is pregnant with twins — girls, most likely. I overheard her saying that she and her husband had actually started their children's college fund with last year's tax return, before they even started trying for a baby (and before they got two for the price of one).

March: This entry is about porn. If you are under 18, are squeamish about the general idea of porn (or, more specifically, about the idea of me looking at porn), or if you are my mother, you probably shouldn't read this.

April: I have a laundry list of topics to write about. Anime Punch, last week's diet and fitness update, my new swimsuit (!!), my poor dying hollyhock seedlings. Not to mention working on my poor neglected NaNoWriMo novellette, or Podcast #10.

May: I've never done online research solely on Ancestry.com before. I've never had the run of the place. I've always assumed I'd have access to my U.S. Census Records Collection, a few free databases, and that's it. Now, though, the whole place is my playground, and I don't know where to start.

June: I donated blood for the first time yesterday. It wasn't bad.

July: Well, last weekend was Mom's visit, and the weekend before was the Waterville Community Garage Sale, so this weekend has been the first where we've been able to think about painting the small bedroom.

August: The Vacation Thus Far: Monday: Bought the newest Civ IV expansion at Best Buy. Ran some random errands with Aaron. Maxxed and relaxed at home in the AC and played my new game.

September: I hate it when I get to this slightly tired state, where my brain is getting a little disjointed and my body is starting to shut down, but my creativity is begging me to DO SOMETHING.

October: I'm taking Friday off of work, so that Aaron and I can drive eight hours to Utica, NY for an anime convention.

November: Time was when my Mom and I would go visit my Aunt Sammie, cousin Michael and Memaw every Sunday after church.

December: For anyone who remembers Jeff "Pip" Hawley, from Residential Computing Connection at BGSU...

Blog Neglect?

I feel like I'm neglecting my blog, but there's nothing really that I want or need to share right now. I also can't get excited about blogging the random memories I've dogeared for myself: shaking the hand of Vaclav Nelhybel, growing up with a knobless television set, the kid at church who was broken of his cool habit of wearing bow-ties instead of "normal" neckties, stuff like that.

I've been taking it easy, going to bed a little earlier than normal, taking time to read some books and magazines and watch some educational TV (i.e. the "geek" channels). I managed to come up with two prototypes for a new portfolio site before the Christmas holiday, and haven't been able to come up with anything since.

There are so many things I need to do, as per usual. It's just that, well, I'm taking this time as a mental vacation. Especially since tomorrow is going to be a loooong evening at work. Next week, I'll set some priorities and get some things done, while still keeping my state of mind calm and zen-like.

By the way? My watch battery died two days ago, and I honestly haven't missed wearing my watch yet. Haven't looked at my wrist once, although I have reached over with my other hand to feel where my watch isn't.

My Inner Luddite

For three days, count 'em, THREE days, I didn't turn on my computer. Not Saturday, not Christmas Eve, and not Christmas Day. This evening, I decided I really should at least check my e-mail, but I didn't particularly want to. I would have been content to sit in the living room reading magazines and books and munching on leftover Christmas sweets.

In other news, literally half of my department is on vacation during this, our busiest week of the year. Thanks, Ms. Supervisor, for authorizing all those vacations. Friday is going to suuuuuuck.

Note To Self Re: Two-hour Naps

While it may seem a good idea at the time, taking a two-hour evening nap on the couch can be disorienting later on in the evening, and may hinder your ability to get things done in a timely fashion — mainly, preparing food for tomorrow's potluck, wrapping presents, addressing Christmas cards, packing cross-country Christmas packages, assembling a candle gift basket for tomorrow's gift exchange, and crafting a 2006 commemorative Christmas ornament.

Next time? Don't give in to the urge to just keep sleeping when you wake up and see that one hour has passed.

I Need A Hug.

My husband is at work, and I require snuggly-time.

*pout*

Kitty-snuggly time will not do. No, I will have to remember to wake myself up when Aaron comes to bed at three or four o'clock, so I can get the snuggle-hug I require.

I would have liked to lay on the couch and cuddle all evening long. Ah, well... such is life.

Time for one last round of solitaire, then off to bed.

Exhausted

I haven't been posting much lately, and there's a reason for that. I've been exhausted and generally disinterested as soon as Aaron pulls out of the driveway and down the road to work in the evenings. I really can't get excited about much at all, which is frustrating.

I have plenty of projects I could be working on. The podcast will soon be going on a much more erratic schedule (i.e. I post an episode when I feel like it, instead of weekly). I have clothes that need mended or surgerized. I have websites that need maintained. I have candle orders that need to be filled. I have PUSH DVDs that need to be watched and exercised to. I have blog essay ideas that should be expounded upon, especially holiday-themed ones.

I wish I could just smack myself upside the head and get myself moving. I'm not depressed. I'm just tired.

Busy

Tonight: Record, edit, and upload podcast. Wash dishes before bed.

Tomorrow: Entertain Dan. Bake butternut squash pies.

Thursday: See Dan off to Knoxville. Drive to Cleveland. Have Thanksgiving dinner.

Friday: Spend day at home with Aaron. No work for either of us.

I guess what I'm saying is: don't expect too much blogging out of me in the next several days. I'll be back with you probably after the weekend.

Bored.

I'm having one of those weird, bored evenings.

I managed to write out an outline for podcast episode #21, but am not enthused enough to actually record it tonight. Not feeling creative enough to write on the NaNo. Not into testing out my Christmas Cookie candle scent. Don't want to watch a DVD or read. Don't even want to play Civilization, although that's probably what I'll end up doing. Seems to be my default "I'm bored" activity.

I'm just kind of tired. Not really depressed or anything, just tired. I think I ate too little during the day and too much in the evening, and that might have messed with my blood sugar / energy levels or something. I dunno. Also tired of coughing and clearing my throat ALL FUCKING DAY. It was especially helpful that today was my day to help answer the phones. Good times.

Hey, ladies? Ever had ovulation cramps? This is a new experience for me, and I must say that I don't care for it. It's not bad enough that I have to have cramps once a month — now I get them twice? WTF.

So, yeah. I guess I'm just having a weird, funky evening. Nothing a little Civ IV won't cure.

Low-Key Evening

Aaron's off at a Frank Black show in Cleveland with Kris and Kris this evening. I opted not to go for several reasons, not the least of which being that I have to work tomorrow. Instead, I ended up throwing together a (half-assed) Halloween podcast, which frees up tomorrow night for my annual Halloween genealogy devotional.

The time change seems to be catching up with me tonight, too. It's not even 10pm yet, and already I'm feeling like it's time to wash the dishes and go to bed. Yesterday's leaf-raking extravaganza has well and truly taken hold, as well, so my back and arms are hella sore and stiff, which is also helping to edge me toward bed.

Good thing I didn't end up going to the show — I'd be turning into a pumpkin barely halfway through, and putting a damper on everyone's good time.

New Weight Loss Program: Depression

Certain kinds of depression cause me to overeat. I just basically wear a path in the carpet between my chosen point of food consumption and the kitchen. Then I feel like an ass and get more depressed and eat more. Rinse and repeat.

Other kinds of depression cause me to not give a damn about eating, and to find that everything in life is basically a waste of my time. Had I discovered this interesting brand of depression back in high school, at least my perpetual depression would have had some practical purpose, or at least a more positive side-effect than weight GAIN.

As it is, I'm currently making some chicken salad because I know that today's combined repast of a breakfast bar, an apple, a yogurt, and a string cheese will not get me through the evening. Eventually, if I don't eat, something will snap, and I'll find myself standing in front of a near-empty refrigerator, wondering what the hell happened.

Estrogen Overload

I challenge any card-carrying, estrogen-toting woman to make it through a viewing of Steel Magnolias without crying. Or at least misting up. Especially the end (SPOILER WARNING... if you can spoil an 18-year-old movie):

M'Lynn (after her daughter's funeral): I don't think I can take this! I just wanna *hit* somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna *hit* something! I wanna *hit it hard*!
Clairee (pushing her grumpy buddy Ouiser forward): Here! Hit this! Go on, M'Lynn, slap her!

I don't make a habit of watching Steel Magnolias. But when I surf past Lifetime and find that it's playing, I either find it absolutely repelling or impossible to resist, depending on my mood. My estrogen level must've been elevated tonight after being all crafty; I cooked *and* made candles in the same night. :-)

Cooking, crafts, and crying at a movie. I think I've had my fill of girlie stuff for a while. Makes up for joining in last week's football pool at work, I guess.

I Feel Violated.

Someone is using my schnuth.com e-mail address — which currently forwards to my gmail account — as a return address for spam. I've gotten at least four autoreplies today — no, make that five, as another one just came in — from various recipients, including Yahoo Groups and other mailing lists.

This pisses me off on so many levels. Now I have to wonder if my schnuth.com address will be spamblocked on some random server when I try to send an e-mail sometime in the future. I've also run Spybot and Norton Antivirus on my computer to make sure nothing's hijacked my Outlook Express that I never use. I figure that someone probably just forged their headers in reverse, using their spam recipient list as a perfect source for reply-to addresses.

Bastards.

What pisses me off the most is that the genie's out of the bottle now. I can't go and tell all these people and mailing lists, "Sorry, but some spammer is using my e-mail address to spam you. It's not really me!" Whatever. If some unfortunate result comes of this... *shrug* There's nothing really to be done about it.

At least I don't use that address very much anymore.

Piss-tastic Mood

I didn't wake up in a pissy mood. Granted, seeing the scale jump three pounds in one day — in the wrong direction — made me understandably disappointed, but I wasn't in a pissy mood yet. My pissy mood ended up being the culmination of a bunch of small things that wouldn't have been a big deal by themselves, but all together made me smolder.

I was answering phones today (my duty once or twice a week), and I got a teller who said, "Can I put the client on and have him explain his question to you?" Which, when translated, means, "I don't understand what the client is talking about, and I know you are an internal call center only, and you don't talk to clients, but it's going to be so much harder if I have to relay what the client says to me verbatim because I don't understand." The client in question happened to be a CPA — and I do give him credit for not rubbing that in my face — but when I took his number and told him I'd research his question and call him back later, it made me that much more diligent in getting my interest calculations correct to the penny and to the day. Which took several hours. When I called him back, he had a client in his office, so I left him a voicemail. He didn't get back to me before I left at 5pm.

I also got a few calls about things that people thought weren't done right, and I had to research; or things that really weren't done right, and I had to correct.

The football kids were standing in the street again on my way home. I seriously hate that smug "you can't hit me" look they give me. You've got a helmet on, kid... you wouldn't concuss too bad. Don't fucking tempt me.

I got home and checked my email to find that the LSM forums have started getting spammed, despite the manual registration process and the required e-mail reply to confirm registration. And I found out that the report I had so carefully crafted in such a brief time to the exclusion of other priorities at the moment has either officially or unofficially been tabled for the time being. Which I can understand, being that there are other, more pressing matters for the board to take care of right now, but I guess I assumed that everything on the agenda would be discussed. My bad.

Aaron said I should exercise tonight, that it'll make me feel better, and I know he's right. I'm also tempted to just sit down in front of a game of Civ IV for the evening, though, and take it out on the Spanish or something.

I'm dangerous in this mood. I never get mad, so when I do, I tend to keep it going as long as I can, for no good reason. It's a novel feeling, if not a particularly useful or productive one.

Time to go turn on the news and go eat some food.

I Give Up

I designed some stickers for Aaron's podcast. They were adapted from the t-shirt design, which I also designed (with some editorial help from Garza).

The stickers were to be 4.25" x 2.75" big. The printer's online instructions said to submit files at 300dpi. Since I'd resized the design from a larger t-shirt design, I opted to ignore their suggestion and submit the design at 1200dpi instead. This saved me from having to rework the entire design and optimize it for a smaller print size.

The stickers came in this week. All the fine detail is lost. The fantastic black background blends into the mascot's hair and skirt, because my hairline divider stroke failed to print properly. The katakana surrounding the mascot is illegible. All because I can't follow directions.

I spent two hours tonight reworking the design from scratch, which was harder than I'd expected. I created a layer of halftone dots (a la newspaper photographs) for shading, then went through the painstaking detail work of cleaning up said halftone dots around the edges of the drawing with the eraser tool. Only when I went to throw in the fantastic black background did I realize that I should have been painting in white instead of erasing. The mascot's cute mug became akin to some sort of monster movie villain, being that half of it was suddenly filled in with black.

I wanted to have this done tonight. I wanted to tell Aaron I'm sorry, and that the next batch of stickers are on me, and here's the new design. Instead, I'm going to bed without making my lunch. Again.

Excuse me while I go have a nice cry, then beat myself about the head until I fall asleep.

Catchy Spam Subject Line

"Your dick is your visit card, so make it big and make it hard."

I'll give that one creativity points, if nothing else.

Life Is What Happens...

Original plans for the evening: 1.) Eat dinner. 2.) Go to Toledo Area Genealogical Society meeting. 3.) Edit and post podcast.

Revised chronology for the evening: 1.) Eat dinner. 2.) Go to two-and-a-half hour Toledo Area Genealogical Society meeting. 3.) Talk to Mom on the phone for half an hour.

Don't think the podcast is getting edited and posted tonight. Good thing I put tomorrow's date on it when I recorded it this weekend.

To-Do List

To Do Tonight:

• Write report to LSM Board of Directors
• Record podcast
• Eat dinner
• Start new game of Civ IV

Guess what's getting done first?

Yeah. I'm gonna go kick some Incan butt.

Update, Post-Civ IV: Oh, yeah. I forgot I was going to do some kickboxing cardio to offset the two pieces of pizza and one piece of cheesecake I had for lunch. Oops.

Really don't want to write my report or record my podcast, but I need to do both. Gonna go stall traipse around the house for a minute and collect my thoughts (and grab my iPod so it can charge), then come back down here and start on my Webmaster Report / Suggestions to the New Board of Directors.

Tired and Disjointed

I hate it when I get to this slightly tired state, where my brain is getting a little disjointed and my body is starting to shut down, but my creativity is begging me to DO SOMETHING. If I were to start something now, though, I'd get sidetracked or frustrated that it wasn't turning out right. I have a list so long that I could choose from, though.

This is usually the same mood where I see all the things I didn't do today, either on web pages or around the house, and get frustrated because my brain wants them to just — poof — be done. My body, however, would much rather slouch in my desk chair or stretch out on the couch and read a book or play solitaire or watch cable.

Meanwhile, the part of my brain that never grew up and is never actually awake until 10am says, "Dude. 9:45pm is NOT late enough for you to be this tired."

P.S. - Along with the whole sidetracked and disjointed brain concept, let me just mention this (which I probably shouldn't, but I will anyway): If you're ever going to be out of social situations for a day or an evening, be a little daring. Give your pits a rest, and don't wear deodorant. I got a rash under one armpit, and am going deodorantless while it heals, and it's actually quite liberating. Sure, I still washed, and I put baby powder under my one pit... but by this evening, I started experiencing my own natural odor for the first time in years.

Honestly... without anyone to make fun of me about the odor (a la middle school), it's really not that unpleasant. Still, I'm looking forward to receiving my Kiss My Face natural deodorant on Tuesday.

Turning A Shitty Mood Around

Woke up this morning to discover that my alarm clock was set for 7:30am, not 7:10am as I had thought.

Drove through my 'hood to get to work, and had to make a minor detour to get around the garbage truck that likes to drive down the middle of the street. Instead, I got caught by a school bus. Those things, along with random stupid drivers, made me late to work.

Ate two Little Debbie Double Decker Oatmeal Cream Pies to counteract the pissy mood I'd developed. Knew it was a poor idea, and did it anyway.

Heard two co-workers across the way say that, as a habit, they never read the long explanatory e-mails we send them about the changes THEY REQUESTED to the database. This after they asked how to do something in the database, not realizing that a new feature had been added, per their request. Got so mad that I: 1.) thrust my head into my clenched, clawed hands; 2.) swung my mouse around like a bullroar; 3.) put my hands down below the cube wall, out of sight, and gave the co-workers the double-bird, along with a hearty silent FUCK YOU several times over. And don't forget the varied thrusting hand motions, both vertical and lateral.

Didn't eat lunch. Took a 45-minute walk instead. Ate a South Beach Cereal Bar (originally intended for breakfast) as a late lunch / early afternoon snack.

To calm down after work? Civilization IV: Warlords. Couldn't even get *that* right — the first game I started got me almost annihilated in the first few turns, so I restarted; the second game crashed and had to force quit; and the third game also got me close to annihilated, but I stuck it out and managed to survive with my three little cities until the end.

I think I feel better now, though.

Scrap Paper and Random Thoughts

Last weekend, Aaron helped me unhook the Power Mac 6500 and remove it from beneath my desk. It had been co-habitating with my Dell for some time now, but it hadn't been powered on for months. My new(-to-me) iMac is *much* cuter, and just a little faster.

In the process of disconnecting and reconnecting and disentangling and shuffling, I had to remove a very large stack of crap from my desk. This stack o' crap included three spoons, two water glasses, five sheets of cute anime stickers, a slew of pens, and a stack of used scrap paper.

See, before the advent of the Google to-do list, I would either e-mail myself a list of random thoughts I'd had at work, or I would write those thoughts down on a quarter-sheet of scrap paper. I would remind myself to check out certain scented oils for candlemaking, or to blog about a particular topic, or just to freakin' wash the dishes already. So, now I have a stack of random blog topics, some as much as a year old, just waiting for me to exploit them. Plus some stale to-do items that still apply.

For shits and giggles, here are two topics I found on one sheet of scrap paper, amongst some other to-do items and doodles:

I just remembered that I used to be one of those annoying people that would say, "Smile! God loves you!" Was that really me? Good grief.

What is it that turns normal people into blogosphere celebrities? Wit, humor, honesty, design, content?

I can't say that I'm interested in expounding on either of these topics at the moment, but I thought they were worth noting. Feel free to discuss.

*one more piece of scrap paper hits the trash*

New 'Do

Ladies and gentlemen: my new hairdo.

Once again, I donated my hair to Locks of Love; however, this time, I went to Aaron's usual stylist, Great Clips. I didn't have great expectations for Great Clips, but they did give me a free cut for donating my hair, and they're only a few minutes from our house. They didn't do fancy poofy hair-drying like Hair E. Canary in BG did, and didn't make my hair look all fresh-from-the-stylist or anything, but they cut it for free, and will be mailing it in themselves, thus saving me postage.

It ended up a little longer than last time, too, since Great Clips took exactly ten inches off my hair. Last time, I had the stylist at Hair E. Canary just cut it *short*, which ended up being 14" of hair. Whee! Anyway, I'm glad this is just short enough to swing above my shoulders, but long enough to pull back if I need to (albeit with a few wispies at the nape of my neck).

So... whaddaya think?

The Vacation Thus Far

Monday: Bought the newest Civ IV expansion at Best Buy. Ran some random errands with Aaron. Maxxed and relaxed at home in the AC and played my new game.

Tuesday: Lunch with Aaron and Mark at Ruby Tuesday. Spent the rest of the day at home in the AC. Paid a bunch of bills. Got all funky-depressed from not exercising (or was it PMS?). Thenl we watched the Henry Rollins Show DVDs from his show on the Independent Film Channel, and I ate some oatmeal (with real maple syrup), and that made it all better.

Today: Went to the bank with Aaron and withdrew spending money for Otakon. Got a bunch of low-carb goodness and a cheap set of iPod speakers at Big Lots. Packed for the trip — and, again, maxxed and relaxed in the AC.

Tomorrow morning, we head out for Baltimore. It's about an eight-hour trip from here, so we're starting out around 8am. We'll get to our hotel around rush hour, park and check in, walk to the Convention Center to get our badges, then meet the Ninja Consultants for dinner.

After that, it's a wild ride of otaku conventioning and anime craziness until Sunday, a day of rest on Monday, then back to the grind on Tuesday. But that's not for a while yet. I've still got half my vacation to go!

iTunes meme

via  erinfinnegan:

1. Turn on your favorite media player and turn your shuffle feature on.
2. Hit "play" and keep track of the next 10 or more songs that come up. (If you have iTunes, you can make a smart playlist that will automatically list your most recently played selections.)
3. Post your 10 or more shuffled songs, along with these instructions. You are not allowed to lie, omit tracks or otherwise try to make your musical taste seem hipper than it actually is.

1. Blue Man Group: Synaesthetic
2. WOXY.com Modern Rock Minute: The Strokes Cover Marvin Gaye
3. Sufjan Stevens: Chicago
4. Gackt: ares
5. The Cars: Drive
6. Fumitaka Anzai: Sad Sequence / Part 1 - 2
7. Midnight Oil: River Runs Red
8. Talking Heads: Wild Wild Life
9. James: Avalanche
10. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones: Our Only Weapon

Junk

I made it through a couple more boxes and my trunk tonight. I now have a box of keepsakes (i.e. things I don't want to get rid of, but am not going to need to use or display for a while) and a couple small piles of stuff on the living room floor. Stacks of paper and art supplies, mainly.

This begs the question: where does this junk live?

After I get the small bedroom clear of my junk, I'm going to need to clean and reorganize my desk area. That's where most of this shit seems to be migrating.

This is just ridiculous.

Next task: clean out the closet in the small bedroom and reorganize our games. Maybe thrift or eBay some of the ones we're never going to play. That's going to be massive, too.

Mom-athon Wrapup

Saturday: Aaron, Mom and I went to the Crosby Festival at the Toledo Botanical Gardens. Had Italian sausages for lunch. Walked around for a few hours, took pictures with Mom's new camera, ate frozen cheesecake on a stick, and headed home. Wore a halter top, and got a little sunburnt on my shoulders. (Finally, the long-awaited early summer sunburn!)

Later, Aaron went to Kris Heath's bachelor party dinner, so Mom and I went to Kroger and got the makings for lasagna. Turned out awesome. Even left some for Aaron. We all played Killer Bunnies when Aaron got home, and I think Mom enjoyed it, even though she had a hard time reading the cards.

Sunday: We all ate lunch at the Reynolds Garden Café, then I went on a walk at Wildwood with Mom. After our walk, all three of us went to Borders at Franklin Park, walked around the mall, and ate some Dippin' Dots. When we got home, Mom and I played some Tetris Attack, then we all went to Red Lobster for dinner. Mmm, Ultimate Feast.

Monday: Ate lunch at the Dragon Buffet, relaxed at home, took Mom to the bus station around 4:00. (Aaron took off of work so he could drive, and so we could have some one-on-one time later...) Mom's bus was a half-hour late when we finally left at 5:30. Turns out that her bus ended up being over an hour late, and the bus we'd thought was hers was actually another bus. At any rate, on the way home, I figured out where I missed my turn on Thursday night. I don't feel so bad for missing the turn onto Hill — it was hard to be sure it was the right turn even when it was light out, much less in the dark.

Of course, after a weekend of having my Mom in the house, Aaron and I made out like monkeys when we got home. And that's all I've got to say about that.

Overall, it was an enjoyable visit. Longer than usual, but that was cool. It'll be a slightly different dynamic if Mom ever stays with us for longer than one weekend, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, I suppose. This weekend was all about getting Mom to relax and have a good time and not worry about all that stressful shit at home. I think it was a success.

Mom-athon Update

Thursday night: Got to the bus station OK. Bus was only 10 minutes late after a 24-hour-plus bus trip. Proceeded to miss my turn off of Detroit while coming home and drove around the seedy part of Toledo for AN ENTIRE HOUR. Finally got home by taking I-75 North to I-475 West and South. After Mom and I got to the house, she called Gary, who proceeded to call back at least twice after midnight.

Friday: Woke up at 10:30am to find Mom already awake. Hung out and talked until Aaron got up around noon. Went to lunch at the Happy Rose buffet. Mom and I then went shopping. Best Buy didn't have the selection of digital cameras she wanted, so we went to Circuit City, where she ended up purchasing the display model of the Kodak P830. Got Mom some socks and reading glasses at the Dollar Tree. Got me a skirt at Dots. Got Mom some shorts and got me a new convertible bra and some body wash at Target.

Came home, saw Aaron off to work. Did my PUSH workout while Mom watched. Started making dinner. Gary called. I made spaghetti while Mom talked to Gary. Ate dinner while watching Victor/Victoria. Played with Mom's camera. Talked. Then Aaron came home early! Yaye! Mom went to bed just before midnight, and now here I am, blogging it all. :-)

Saturday? Crosby Festival in the early afternoon, then Aaron goes to bachelor dinner with Kris Heath and company, while Mom and I possibly make something special for dinner here.

It's nice having Mom around. I hope her circumstances back home aren't such that she'll need to move in with us, though... for many reasons, but certainly not because I wouldn't want her around.

Mom-athon 2006

In about three hours, my Mom should be rolling into Toledo via Greyhound. I've taken a four-day weekend from work, and Mom and I are going to spend those four days catching up and chilling out.

I could do with some chilling out right now, actually. I'm super-stressed about driving into downtown Toledo after dark and hanging out at the bus station. I've been high-strung about it all day, even though it's only 15 minutes away from my house. I've never driven there myself; I've only been picked up or dropped off, and that was years ago. I mean, I've got my maps printed out and highlighted and directions all ready to go and everything... but those one-way streets make it seem like such a maze, especially in the dark. I'm sure I'm over-reacting, though.

After I successfully get Mom home from the Greyhound station, we'll have four days to do whatever. She only has a few requirements: Crosby Festival, Chinese buffet, and maybe the zoo. Oh, yeah, and a walk around Wildwood Metropark. I definitely want her to play Killer Bunnies and Carcassonne with Aaron and me, among other games. (Mom likes games.)

Apart from that, though, I'm not sure what we're going to do for four days. We don't really live in a "walkable" part of town; all we can really walk to from here is the rest of our neighborhood. Not like BG, where we could walk around campus, or to a coffee shop. Not that Mom likes coffee. At all.

Anyway, I'm sure we'll think of something. For now, I have a few hours to get unfreaked about driving 15 minutes to the bus station, and to do a little cleaning. I already vacuumed the couch yesterday, so that Mei wouldn't bother Mom's allergies quite as bad. Now all that's left for tonight is dishes, kitchen table, bathroom floor. The basics.

If I don't post again this weekend, just know I'm out having a killer time with my Mom. :-)

Friday Five: Exclamations

I don't usually do memes, but I liked this one, brought to you by  talcotts:

Favorite phrase when you have...

1. Eaten food that tastes bad
"Ugh!" Depending on the setting and company, that may be followed by a profane opinion of what I just ate, e.g. "That was fuckin' nasty."

2. Stubbed your toe
Sharp inhale as I wait for the pain to hit, then a slow, seething "Gmmarrrgh..." (It can't decide if it's a goddamn or a motherfucker.)

3. Become frustrated
"Son of a motherfucking bitch!" Or, if I'm playing Tony Hawk, "DO SOMETHING!!" Or, if I'm at work, I just become silent and turn on my iPod.

4. Broken something
Usually "crap," but sometimes a "shit" or a "goddammit" pops out. Depends on how important of a something I broke.

5. Been cut off by another driver
"Fucking asshole," followed up by as close of tailgating as I feel comfortable... which is usually laughable, I'm sure.

General Consensus

My Mom called a few days ago, and I told her I was thinking of donating my hair again and having it cut short. Predictably, she squealed, "Nooo!!" I really think it's about that time again, though.

I've shared the few existing photos of the blunt bob from Summer of 2003 earlier. As I recall, that wasn't even one of my better hair days, but those are the only photos I have of my supar-shortest-evar haircut. This time, I want to go with something a little different. Maybe some layers, maybe long bangs or fringy face-framing hair. Only thing is, I tend not to want to (or have time to) fuss with my hair. I'd want a 'do that I could wash n' go, preferably allowing it to dry in the car during my 10-minute commute. o_O

Let me share with you some photos I've collected from around teh intarweb of hairstyles that are close to what I might want:

read more...

What's My Motivation?

Man... I can NOT get motivated. I had thought that today was going to be a gardening day, just because I got some freshly-uprooted Roses of Sharon at work today, but then it decided to rain. I should be doing my PUSH workout, and finishing up my podcast, and working on the LSM site.

However. I am not interested in any of that. I'm not even interested in playing Civ IV, although that's probably what I'll end up doing.

I am interested in totally vegging out, but not taking a late nap or going to bed early or watching a movie or reading a book. I'm definitely not interested in exercising, like I should be doing, and I'm not interested in fixing stuff on the LSM page, although I'll end up doing that this evening, anyway. Got some smaller stuff to take care of, and need to get started on some bigger stuff, like uploading photos and implementing forums. I'm so dropping the ball there.

Anyway, yeah. Lately, I've been in a little bit of a funk in the evenings. Just not interested in being productive, after thinking all day. It's a problem I don't mind having, I guess, considering that it means I'm using my brain during the day... :-)

Functionally Fit

When deciding how "in shape" you need to be, be it only slightly overweight or totally buff, there's a term called "functionally fit." That means that you're in shape enough to do the things you need to do, and do the recreational activities you want to do. Say, for instance, you decided you wanted to go hiking and camping. Could you do it? How about skiing or snowboarding (besides not knowing how)? Or would it leave you in total pain the next day, or would you even be able to enjoy yourself while you were doing it?

Yesterday, Aaron and Mark and I helped Kris and Jamie move Kris's stuff from his parents' basement (where it had been in storage) to their new house in Maumee. Moving it out was mainly a matter of logistics, since he'd moved most everything up into the garage prior to yesterday's move. We just had to pack the truck so that everything would fit. (Everything did, for the most part; he just needs to go back for his guitars.)

Moving it in, though, involved a steep 1960's stairwell with no carpet and no banister, in addition to the front stairs up to the house. And I discovered something about myself that I'd been ignoring before: I go to great lengths to avoid cardio. Like going up and down stairs. Moving heavy stuff, sure, I'm all about it. I'll unload the truck and move the heavy crap to the edge where someone can grab it and take it up to the upstairs bedroom. But actually carrying the stuff up there? Rather not. Because it makes me all out of breath, and my legs get all heavy and tired.

Lazy ass.

This morning when I awoke, my biceps were sore, my delts were sore, my lower back was sore (I lifted one Rubbermaid tote incorrectly, thinking it was a light one when it wasn't), my ass was sore... I'm sure I'm forgetting something. So what did I do about it?

I grabbed the pruning shears and went outside to give the hedges a haircut.

Now my arms are sore *and* weak, but I'm OK with that. I'd rather keep moving. Today, Aaron and I are going to take a nice, long walk at Wildwood Metropark and test out Fries's late grandfather's camera before I offer to buy it.

So... functionally fit? Close, but not quite. At least I learned something about myself, though.

Boobs.

My boobs used to be size D. That was when I was technically obese, though. Now that I'm on the cusp of being merely "overweight," my boobs have reduced to somewhere between C and D.

I tell you this because today I rediscovered the joy of the shelf bra.

Now, last year, I bought a few tank tops through mail-order that had shelf bras in them. And I decided that said shelf bras were overrated, because they did absolutely nothing to hold anything in. For some reason, though, today I decided to put on my blue racerback tank with shelf bra, and to go with only the shelf bra for support. (I was just hanging around at home after work.)

And, lo and behold, the damn thing works.

Mind you, I can't go jogging or anything in this, and my boobs still tend to migrate together into the uniboob, like with a sports bra. But, still... once I lose the remaining pudge around the middle, I could so wear this in public.

Just thought I'd share.

My Birthday

So, many of you may be wondering, what was my birthday surprise? And what did I do before said 4:00 birthday surprise?

The day started like most Saturdays: with a trip to the Happy Rose Buffet. Aaron and I then went hunting for garage sales, being that it was sunny and gorgeous outside and sales should have been in full swing — but, alas, the few we found were barely worth getting out of the car for.

I did open my present(s) from Aaron, too. He got me the Dune special edition DVD and Logan's Run on DVD, and also got me a Lane Bryant gift card. Squee!

Around 4:00, there was a knock on the door — and it was Sheryl! @whee! She brought me a birthday card (complete with her own Grim Reaper artwork), Hello Kitty stickers, a gift card to Home Depot (yay, plants!), and the You Grow Girl book I had listed on my Amazon wishlist. We hung out for a couple hours, just talking and shooting the shit, before she had to go get some food and head back to Columbus. That was an awesome surprise. Thank you, Sheryls! (Oh, and your Mom's seventies golf clubs? Quite the swanky set.)

After Sheryl left, Aaron and I headed out to Wildwood to walk around and enjoy the weather. As we walked down the bike path (we weren't wearing our walking shoes, and had to stick to the paved areas), we saw about six deer crossing the railroad tracks. That was cool.

Then came dinner. As usual, we waffled on where to go. We're so indecisive about restaurants. We ended up deciding on Outback Steakhouse, and having the Bloomin' Onion and the Outback-Style Prime Rib. Mmm. Then we came home and ate some Twinkie-misu for dessert.

Overall, I had a very low-key but pleasant 30th birthday.

I wish I had written in my diary/journal back when I turned 12, though, because I really felt a connection to how I felt back then — kind of like Life was moving faster than I was prepared to go. I distinctly remember making a comment about not wanting to grow up, and I remember my Aunt Sammie finding that preposterous. I was scared, though; in a few months, I'd be going to Junior High, graduating to a new Sunday School class, maybe having my "womanhood" rear its ugly head, and all I wanted to do was watch Dance Party USA and read Star Trek books and hang out with my Mom and her boyfriend.

The irrational fears that are in the back of my mind are a little different now. I'm close to half-done with my life — how fucked up is that?! I haven't done half the things I wanted to by now, really. And being an agnostic/atheist isn't all it's cracked up to be, I'll tell you what. It would make my occasional fear of mortality a little easier to swallow if I thought I'd be seeing my stepdad Tom and my Memaw and my Granny and meeting Aaron's Mom and all that shit when I die. As it is, death scares the living fuck out of me. Nonexistence is a tough pill to swallow.

Yes, I know, I'm only 30. But when I'm PMSing and being all funky before bed, weird shit goes through my head sometimes. And poor Aaron didn't know what to make of the fact that I was all weepy on my birthday, when he was trying to be all Happy Birthday for me. And then he got all sweet and said that we were going to grow old together and use the next generation of Viagra so he can "knock my cobwebs out," which was sweet in its own Aaron-ish way, and made me weepy all over again. (Poor boy just can't win.)

I'm feeling much better now, though. It really was just PMS, I think. That, and remembering some crazy dream I had a few months ago where I thought that Aaron and I were going to die. That freaked my shit out. But maybe I'll share that one later.

Twinkie-misu, Year #2

Work was surprisingly pleasant today, really. No one felt like being terribly productive, so we were all chatty and friendly and social instead of being isolated and, well, productive. And the boss was on vacation this week, so he wasn't around to scatter us back to work, like he tends to do. That always makes for an enjoyable Friday.

Also, I guess I inadvertently advertised my birthday at this week's department meeting. Usually, our department holds a monthly potluck in celebration of all the birthdays in that month. I haven't been participating lately, though, due to my diet, and I had assumed that the person who usually organizes the potlucks had taken notice of that, and was intentionally skipping April for my benefit. At the department meeting, though, she said that she's organizing a building-wide potluck for Relay For Life instead. I piped up and mentioned that I'd thought maybe it was because I was the only April birthday. :-)

So, today, a few people came into my cube bearing chips and salsa and cheese dip and 2-liters of pop — oh, yeah, and an African violet. (Very pretty pale silky flowers, BTW, in contrast to my dark velvety-flowered one at home.) On top of that, Scott made Twinkie tiramisu for my birthday, for a second year in a row. Mmm, so good!

Of course, since my cube was where the food was, everybody in the department (almost) made it into my corner of the world for some chatter. I learned some interesting facts about my co-workers and their backgrounds, and got more comfortable with some of them that I don't usually talk with. That made for an unusually talkative day for me, and a very relaxing day-before-my-birthday at work.

I ended up bringing a good deal of Twinkie-misu home with me, with Scott's blessing, and even brought home the rest of the chips and dips for good measure. Twinkie-misu gets me so high... Twinkies (soaked in espresso) and coffee ice cream and whipped cream and fudge sauce... yummy, but wow.   o.O

We'll see what happens tomorrow. I'm still trying to downplay it... but I know that at least one other person is involved, from what Aaron let slip. So, something's happening, at some point. I'll be pleased with whatever it is, I'm sure.

Something is Afoot

Aaron's just as good at keeping birthday secrets as I am. Don't worry, whoever you are (and I have an idea, maybe, but I'm not saying): we'll be here at 4pm on Saturday.

I don't want to know what's up. I don't want to spoil the surprise. Just knowing that somebody didn't forget my birthday is pretty cool.

As for birthday present tallies so far: Amy got me a Lomo Oktomat and a DVD of Drawn Together (which I've heard is damn funny, but I haven't watched yet) for Christmas and birthday. I'm pretty sure Aaron got me some DVDs, although I'm not sure which ones. I'm guessing that at least one of them is intended to fill out the Diana's Favorite Movies Collection. Previous movies in this set include Victor/Victoria, The Goonies, The Princess Bride, Young Sherlock Holmes, The Dark Crystal, The Last Unicorn, Labyrinth, and probably a few others that I'm not thinking of right now. (We already had the Director's Cut editions of all the Star Trek movies, so those were covered.)

If you'd like to get me something for my birthday, and I know this is a little late, but you can feel free to peruse my Amazon wishlist. I actually set the thing up so I can remember stuff I'd like to buy when I have money burning a hole in my pocket... but I'm not above pimping my wishlist on my birthday.

Definitely Still Sick

Were I not sick, I would scoff at the idea of heading up to bed before 10pm. Tonight, though, I'm seriously considering it. Head upstairs, lay down, read, play some solitaire on my Palm IIIc, and be asleep *well before* 11pm.

I suppose I need the rest. Hopefully I'll be able to convince myself to get up when I wake up in the morning — which will most certainly be long before my alarm wakes me up. I'll do my showering and assembly of lunch and snackies then.

Man, this cold is kicking my ass.

No Gnus is Good Gnus

Still sick. Headachy today. Every time I blow my nose (which isn't as often as it was), my ears stop up, and it takes an hour for my hearing to approach normal again.

Tired. Undecided as to whether I should work out. I didn't work out all last week, and I think I miss it. Still, though, I'm inclined to think that my body needs to use its energy to get well right now.

Appetite returning. I tried bringing a last-week-portion of lunch and snackies to work today, and that didn't work out so well. Now that I'm home, around the food, I'm eating and eating and eating with no sign of stopping. Tomorrow, I bring a normal amount of food to work with me.

Haven't done my measurements yet, but I did take pictures. If anyone wants to see a picture of me in a black one-piece swimsuit (I believe Sheryl would probably be the only taker on that), just shoot me an e-mail. Incidentally, I compared my earliest Before picture to yesterday's In Progress picture, and I can definitely see a marked decrease in my abdominal fat. Good news.

No word on a monthly birthday potluck at work. I think I've been called out for failing to participate in recent potlucks. I'm the only April birthday in my department, so the woman who organizes them probably thinks I don't want one.

I'm also concerned about what will or will not befall me at work on Friday, as my 30th birthday is on Saturday. I could either be totally forgotten (except by a few), or I could arrive to find black Over The Hill streamers and balloons festooning my cubicle. I'm going on the assumption that I'll get a personal card or two, and no one else at work will care.

As far as birthdayness goes, I'm also trying to downplay the possibility of anything OMG-supar-kewl happening on my birthday proper. I mean, I threw Aaron a surprise birthday party, but I know for a fact that isn't going to happen for me. He told me as much. See, all my friends (that would be most of you reading this) live so far out of town that you probably wouldn't come to Toledo for an evening of drunken debauchery. So, once again, I'm trying to increase my appreciation of whatever does happen by assuming that very little will, in fact, happen.

Amy visited this past weekend, and we all traded birthday and Christmas presents. (Aaron = November, Amy = January, me = this Saturday.) That was definitely fun. Amy and I spent a few hours on Saturday evening/night in BG, drinking coffee and talking and walking around campus. For once, I felt kind of bad because my job/career situation appears to be more pleasant than hers. Usually we can commiserate about how we don't know what direction to take, and are we going down the wrong path, and shouldn't we be someplace better by now. I'm pretty content with working on my geeky database at work for now, though, while Amy's feeling the pinch of being juggled by departments and not getting enough hours.

I could go on, probably, but I'm feeling like I want to go forage for some sort of tasty snackie. Already had chicken salad. Already had cereal. Already had ham. Feel like a hog... but am hungry nonetheless. Also have a headache that won't go away, that's making me nauseated. Or maybe that's my drainage that's doing that. Either way, it's not good.

Food. Big Mouth hungry.

Birthday Meme

I hadn't planned on posting this to my blog, but since I've already posted my results in the comments of three different LiveJournals, maybe I should just go for it. For reference, I originally saw this on  sheryls' LJ, but it's run rampant since, so I guess I've snicked this from pretty much the entire internets.

Go to Wikipedia and look up your birth day (excluding the year). List three neat facts, two births and one death in your journal, including the year. [My 30th birthday is coming up on April 22nd, in a couple of weeks.]

Events:
1509 - Henry VIII ascends the throne of England after the death of his father.
1970 - First Earth Day celebrated.
1993 - The web browser Mosaic version 1.0 is released.

Birthdays:
1937 - Jack Nicholson, American actor
1950 - Peter Frampton, British musician

Death:
1996 - Erma Bombeck, American humorist and writer (b. 1927)

Moving and Shaking

Good things are happening.

I'm feeling more fit. I'm doing something a little different at work, and the future is looking positive on that front. I'm paring down my hobbies and interests.

Paring down my hobbies, you ask? Yes, this is a good thing. This makes me happy.

As much as I hate to admit it, I've pretty much written off musicianship for now. I enjoy picking up the guitar every now and then, or singing along with the CD in the car, but I'm not likely to record a cover album to share with the internets.

I'm also in preparations to turn over the Saginaires / Northern Aurora alumni site — yes, the very first site I ever created — to someone who will take good care of it. I will shortly be posting a "job opening" to the alumni Yahoo Group, and the donor of the webhosting will be joining me in interviewing the candidates to choose who gets to take over the webmaster position. Ten years is long enough for me, and it's not fair of me to hoard the site to myself when I haven't touched it in probably a year.

I need to pare down some other things, too. I'm undecided as to the future of my podcast, although the more I think about it, I don't want to give it up quite yet. My photography isn't necessarily something I'll be doing every day, but it's damn nice to have good equipment and above-average skills for when I get the inkling to take some artsy pictures. And web design... well, I can't see me going out for any freelance gigs anytime soon (especially with me actually using the techie part of my brain at work, finally), but I'll probably do some minor tweaks on my blog, and maybe overhaul my portfolio one of these days. But I won't feel bad if I don't get to it right away.

As for things I do want to focus on... I want to get back into writing, as my long-neglected NaNo is calling to me. Gardening season is nearly upon us, so I definitely want to have time for that. And I've been being better to my body, exercising regularly, and that's become something I want to continue. I definitely need to focus more on my LSM duties, as well. Oh, yeah, and do some chores around the house, too.

I'm afraid that, if I don't take control of my hobbies and such now, I'll feel guilty for neglecting everything under the sun. I'm still going to have more hobbies than the average joe, but I'm OK with that.

Priorities are good. Spreading myself too thin is not.

But The Flesh Is Weak

I have a laundry list of topics to write about. Anime Punch, last week's diet and fitness update, my new swimsuit (!!), my poor dying hollyhock seedlings. Not to mention working on my poor neglected NaNoWriMo novellette, or Podcast #10.

But, damn, I am so fucking tired today.

It was a Herculean effort to make myself do my PUSH workout today, but I did it. And I'm getting better at it, too. Still, though, all I want to do is curl up on the couch and veg.

I'm gonna chalk this up to The Monday After The Time Change, and not worry about being slackeriffic today. Maybe I'll manage to crank out a decent blog entry later tonight. If not, though, I figure I'll at least get some decent Civ IV action going on.

Story of My Life

There are so many things I should be doing today. I'm overdue to produce episode #10 of The Low Carb Lifestyle Podcast, and I need to work on my cosplay helmet if I'm going to wear it at the con on Saturday, and there's always work to do for the LSM website, and on and on.

Instead, I'm feeling mighty tired this evening, which is translating into bored and depressed. This is also causing me to consciously fight to stay out of the kitchen. I really, *really* want to make myself another bowl of macaroni, or at least munch on my yummy new organic breakfast cereal. But I won't. I really won't.

I'm going to chalk today up to a.) working on real brainpower-type stuff at work for the past few weeks, and b.) having my happy womanly time. I'm just going to let today go. Tomorrow has the potential to be just as productive as today should have been, even though Aaron will be home on vacation.

I hate these kinds of days, though. Meh.

Maybe This Is Mean...

I noticed that I've been having a lot of hits to one of my older entries lately, and that these hits have all been coming from a particular messageboard. As I am unable to sign up on this messageboard, for some reason or another, I can't see whether or not they're simply linking to the image there or actually displaying it, using my bandwidth. Either way, I suppose it's cool that I'm getting traffic... except that my stats also show that they read my page of internet funnies, and promptly leave again.

Thing is, I can't afford to host several instances of this 1MB animated gif *and* my podcast. Well, maybe I can, but it's the principle of the thing. So, I renamed the image I'm sure they're probably linking to. I've done this before, repeatedly, as someone on a completely separate poker forum insists on direct linking this image as his avatar.

What's so mean about this?

I then uploaded goatse under the old filename.

Ain't I a stinker?

Wasting Time

Go play this game... but only if you're willing to get sucked into something for a while. Read the rules first, then go for it.

This is going to be my new time-waster for the next week or so. Or at least for tonight. This easily rivals Nanaca Crash for addictiveness.

[Link Courtesy of goblinbox.com]

Lost Forever

I just spent 20 minutes writing a long, elaborate entry about my own self-worth and my varied interests and so on and so forth.

Then I accidentally closed the wrong tab in my browser before I hit Submit.

Maybe it's just as well; you didn't want to hear me ramble on about my inner mental crap, anyway. I'll just say that I feel like a jack-of-all-trades, and leave it at that. Maybe I'll be inspired to write about it again some other time.

Willpower

There are many things I should be doing.

But I can't seem to ignore the siren call of Civ IV.

That ho-smack Isabella is just begging for another ass-whoopin'. That, and I really just want to kick some computer tail. I'm tired of Time Victories and Space Race Victories and Diplomatic Victories. I want a Conquest Victory. I want to win because I'm a bad muthafucka, not just because I can get everybody to vote for me as Class President.

Not gonna happen, but kicking ass (or attempting to kick some ass) is still fun.

Sick

Woke up this morning about the time I should have been pulling out of the driveway. Didn't remember turning off my alarm. Threw on the clothes I'd already laid out, tossed some food into a brown paper bag because my normal lunch bag had nasty leaky grodiness in it, and headed out the door.

Got to the car, and suddenly felt queasy. Just out of nowhere. Drove to work, got there late, still felt blah. Ate my oatmeal at my desk, tried to ignore the blah.

But it would not be denied.

I had one of those I'm-glad-there's-a-handicapable-one-stall-potty kind of BMs, took occasional sips of my ever-present water, and tried to get some work done. After a couple of hours, though, I decided that this was dumb, and made arrangements to take half a day off.

Got home around noon-thirty, and confused the shit out of Aaron. Proceeded to take some Theraflu and sleep on the couch all afternoon, waking up for the occasional small meal. Aaron just now left for work, at 5:30. I'm still run down. Not miserable, but tired and still slightly nauseous.

I'm going to continue to chill out on the couch this evening, or maybe play a little Civ IV until I feel the need to lie back down. Watch some DVDs, drink some herbal tea and some water, and take some more Theraflu before bed. Which will undoubtedly be *much* earlier than normal.

So much for getting my podcast out tonight. Ah, well.

Hope For The Future

Aaron and I attended a surprise 30th birthday party for Aaron's friend Jesse last night. Jesse's wife Kelly made sure to let us know that it would be a kid-friendly party — and, true to her word, there were about a dozen kids there. Four belonged to Kelly and Jesse, at least one belonged to Jesse's sister Sandy, I think two belonged to Jesse's friend Eric, and Kris Fries brought Sam. Lots of kids, at any rate.

I wasn't sure how I would deal with being in a kid-filled environment. I mean, it's been years since I babysat, and I don't regularly find myself amongst kids in my daily life. Truth be told, though, I kind of liked it. Jesse's stepdaughter asked me to dish her up some sweet potatoes, one of his younger two (I forget if it was Olivia or Jessica) showed me her boo-boo, and I got hugs and kisses from Jessica, the youngest, before we left.

Having so many kids in a relatively small space made for a very festive atmosphere. The inevitable balloon games were underway — "Don't let it touch the ground!" — and the adults were talking about various subjects, like concerts we attended in the 90's, and weird stuff that happens at work, and geeky gamer stuff like Warhammer and Magic the Gathering. There was tons of food, like Jed's wings and potato salad and sweet potatoes and deviled eggs and green bean casserole, but obviously no alcohol.

And I had a really freaking good time.

This gives me hope for the future. Maybe, once we have kids, we'll still be able to have fun. Maybe we won't be stuck in the house all the time, watching Junior. Maybe we can get together with other people with kids and let them watch themselves for a while, intervening when we hear a loud noise or when our spidey sense is tingling.

Yeah... it might not be too bad.

Adult Content

This entry is about porn. If you are under 18, are squeamish about the general idea of porn (or, more specifically, about the idea of me looking at porn), or if you are my mother, you probably shouldn't read this.

There are no pictures, although there is some strong language and explicit discussion of kinds of pornographic subjects. Probably worksafe as long as no one is reading over your shoulder.

Interested parties, read on.

read more...

Spam

I'm really sick of some of these spam e-mails that Gmail doesn't catch. I've been getting spam like this for years, but for some reason, it just struck me as funny today (spam addresses changed to protect... somebody):

From: Irving <nbpuwwmqv@spammer.it>
To: diana@schnuth.com
Date: Feb 28, 2006 7:46 PM
Subject: probably you

Hire,
i am here sitting in the internet caffe. Found your email and
decided to write. I might be coming to your place in 14 days,
so I decided to email you. May be we can meet? I am 25 y.o.
girl. I have a picture if you want. No need to reply here as
this is not my email. Write me at id@morespam.info

Dear Italian spammer,

I am so glad that you might be vacationing in sunny Toledo, Ohio! Considering that you can't seem to afford your own computer, and instead use someone else's email address in the internet cafe, perhaps Toledo is the only American vacation destination you can afford.

Could you please send your picture along, too? I need to decide if you're a hot enough chick for me to "switch sides" for. If not, maybe I can at least help you with your English enough to find other American lesbians your age.

Hope you enjoy your holiday in Toledo! Be sure to let me know how you enjoy your stay.

Yours truly,
Diana (the spammee)

Got Tagged By Ellie

So, Ellie tagged me for this meme some time ago, and I'm just now getting around to doing it. Sounds like a good meme for a Friday evening... so here I go.

Four Jobs I've Had In My Life:

• Restaurant Hostess
• Cafeteria Line Server
• Computer Lab Consultant
• Payment Processing Associate

Four movies I can watch over and over:

• Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
• Robin Hood: Men In Tights
• Victor Victoria
• Spaceballs

Four places I have lived:

• Medina OH
• Riverview FL
• Parma OH
• Bowling Green OH

Four TV shows I love to watch:
(I don't watch much TV at all, but here goes...)

• ABC Evening News
• PBS specials (especially the Monty Python ones)
• Dirty Jobs
• Taste of America

Four places I have been on vacation:

• Amish Country, Ohio
• Massachusetts
• Tampa FL
• West Virginia (although I was just a baby)

Four of my favorite dishes:

• Fettuccine Alfredo
• 10-minute Szechuan Chicken
• Prime Rib
• Chicken Paprikash

Four websites I visit daily:

• For Better Or For Worse
• LiveJournal
• Flickr
• CNN

Four places I would rather be right now:

• Grounds For Thought in Bowling Green with Amy
• Florida
• At an anime convention
• Making whoopee

Four bloggers I am tagging:

• Talcott
• Sheryl
• Erin
• Anyone who hasn't done this yet

If I Lived In Royal Oak...

...I would totally pay the cover (or print out a free pass) to listen to Chris Rohn spin some tunes at Luna. I mean, just look at that playlist. Damn.

*looks at iPod*
*looks at Soulseek launch icon*

Playlist. Hmm.

Constructive Criticism

Aaron told me that his podcast got a negative review on iTunes recently. Of course, I had to go read what this person had said, even though I knew it would probably cheese me off.

And, of course, it did.

I mean, I know you can't please all of the people all of the time, but I don't see what this guy's problem was. Aaron's podcast delivers everything he promises: anime reviews, convention reports, domestic and fansub releases, news, everything. The reviewer in question apparently disagrees, saying that "hopefully someone can learn from this guy's mistakes and make something worthwhile." The only positive thing he could say was that Aaron's show notes were informative. I honestly wonder if he even listened to more than one or two episodes of the podcast.

Now — and this is *totally* self-centered of me — after all this bagging on my husband's podcast, the guy's last line was, "By the way, I really hate the album art."

o.O

I was really proud of that fucking art, you bastard. I composed that shit myself (with Aaron's artistic direction), and I thought it turned out really classy.

So, thanks a lot, asshole. Thanks for the fucking non-constructive criticism.

[/rant]

Something's Working...

This week, in an attempt to re-align my sleep schedule by about an hour, I've been assembling my meals at 10pm, then showering, then reading in bed, and turning off the light at 11:00pm, no matter what. I've been laying in bed awake for an hour, to be sure, but I've been successfully rising with my alarm clock two days in a row. (Yes, this is an accomplishment.)

Tonight, I got caught up in some genealogy research, so I haven't gone upstairs to make my food yet — and now my body's threatening to cart itself off to bed without my brain's permission.

I'd better go make my food already, before I find myself all tucked into bed with no recollection of how I got there.

OMG Teh Cuteness

I require this shirt. Just FYI.

In other news, tonight involves preparations for Ohayocon, including:

• packing the suitcase
• ironing the costume
• printing the preregistration confirmation
• generally hyping

Which is nothing compared to Aaron's preparations today. On top of all that, he also printed hotel confirmations and directions, went to the post office for stamps (unrelated to Ohayocon, but still in the list of errands), packed up his iRiver and mics for mobile con recording, and did a bunch of other stuff.

He also pointed out that I have no room to bitch and complain about how my helmet turned out, when I assembled it two days before the con. Good point.

Update, 7:20pm: Why is Norton Security blocking the Threadless banner I posted? Gyarr. I can't figure out how to manipulate Norton to allow me to view this simple image, so I'm just turning off Ad Blocking. (Not turning off Pop-up Blocking, mind you, although I doubt I really need it with my kick-ass Firefox.)

I wonder what else Norton has blocked before... hmm.

Happy Freakin' New Year.

I have so many different ideas queued up for year-end (or New Year's, as it were) lists and essays and whatnot. Unfortunately, I am so unenthused about writing right this moment that none of them are going to happen today.

(Some of this lethargy is most certainly due to the extra helping of creamed chicken I ate for dinner this evening. Ugh. Yummy, and filling, but man. I do NOT want to move now.)

So, I guess that, for now, I'll just mention that my New Year's resolution (apart from losing weight, which is always a given) is to finish the projects I start. I have so many half-completed projects it's just stupid. So, this year, I resolve to finish what I start. This doesn't necessarily mean that I resolve to only have one project at a time, because I think that would be impossible for me. :-)

In future blog entries, expect a Year In Review (a *real* one, not the meme I already posted) and my list of New Music Discoveries for 2005.

Threadless Factoid

In order to wear a Girly XL tee from Threadless, I would have to lose a good four inches of boobness (oh, the horror!) and shrink my waist by about one more size.

Maybe once I do that, I'll start trolling Threadless for funky tees. Until then, I will enjoy the Guys XL tee that Aaron got me for Christmas.

Holiday Plans

Saturday: Food preparation. Making the plum pudding, the Italian wedding cookies, and assembling the green bean casserole. Opening presents.

Sunday: Christmas Day in Westlake (Cleveland). An all-day affair, with travel time.

Monday: Meeting fellow podcasters in Ann Arbor after lunch. Perhaps doing some mobile podcasting. Visiting Wizzywig.

We've got a full weekend ahead. Maybe we'll even get to relax at some point. ;-)

Christmastime Is Here

We received our first Christmas card of the season today.

Grandpa and Grandma Cook — Mom's father and stepmother — sent us a card with an unusually short inscription. Usually, Grandma Cook writes the Christmas cards, and adds something about great-grandbabies or asks how we're liking our house or something like that.

This year, though, it looks like Grandpa wrote the Christmas cards. Maybe, after 20-some odd years of taking care of their correspondence, Grandma finally flipped and made Grandpa write the cards. ;-)

What's funny, besides the two-line greeting, is that they've been forgetting what I used to call them. Apparently, to their other grandchildren, they're Grandpa Bill (or Billy!) and Grandma Rose, which is how they've taken to signing their correspondence to me. *shrug*

Because I must be feeling masochistic this evening, I leave you with this photo of Grandma Cook, my stepdad Tom, me (about age 12), and my Grandpa Cook. This photo was taken around 1988, but Grandpa and Grandma looked like this forever. They're only now starting to look considerably older, having put on a few pounds and a few wrinkles.

*looks at wedding photo proofs from May 2003*

They really do still look the same, I think, even after 15 years.

Year In Review - A Meme

Snicked from litagemini:

Take the first sentence (or 2) from the first post of each month of 2005. That's your year in review.

January: This year has been one of a few large upgrades for myself and Aaron. Not a whole lot happened, but what did was pretty major.

February: I do appreciate your desire to share something funny and/or meaningful. However, I have been on the internet for possibly twice as long as you have, which has given me more time to read the various forwards that are *still* circulating.

March: OMG, I am in such a shitty mood this morning.

April: I was just congratulating myself on getting the first draft of the 2005 LSM brochure done, and remembering to print directions to the corps director's house, since I'm carpooling up to Saginaw with him tomorrow (instead of my normal carpool buddy).

May: I have decided to try some home recording. To that end, I purchased the Behringer Eurorack UB802 Mixer.

June: I don't fire up Instant Messenger very often.

July: As I was rifling through a box of old papers the other day, I came across some amusing documentation of college that hadn't yet made it into a scrapbook...

August: Ugh. I don't operate well on five hours of sleep.

September: Joel "Lothar" Magnuson, mellophone player with the Kilties Drum & Bugle Corps, tragically passed away this evening after collapsing on the field during the corps' performance at the Drum Corps Associates' preliminary competition.

October: The new Lakeshoremen.org is live.

November: The first floor women's restroom at my work has three stalls. This is not usually a problem, as we don't all have to go at the same time, so three stalls are sufficient.

December: So, Aaron decided to go on Induction this week, and to step up his daily exercise.

In researching this meme, I have discovered two things: 1.) I write long sentences sometimes; and 2.) I rarely place the thesis sentence of my paragraph at the beginning when I'm telling a story.

Still, that was fun. Any other takers?

Fished In

I let strangers into our house tonight.

I let them sell me something. I tried to tell them no, but they finally made the offer sound too good.

It's my debt, though. I'll pay it off all by myself, and I'll say it's a Christmas present to both of us. Aaron's going to laugh at me, though, and berate me for allowing strangers into our home after dark.

After checking the internet, it looks like I didn't get jacked all that bad, really. As long as I pay it off faster than the nice salesman financed the thing for.

I still can't believe I let him sucker me into it, though. Especially after all that deliberation over a camera that I really, really wanted; now I went and let the nice salespeople convince me that I needed something that I really probably didn't. Something that, overall, cost more than my new camera. WTF.

I need to stop beating myself up over this purchase already. It's practical. It'll be worth it in the long run.

Right?

Update, 7 Dec 2005: Aaron hadn't discovered the new vacuum cleaner by the time the finance people called this morning and ruined the "surprise." He was going to be offended, he said, if I'd bought him a "demasculating" gift like a vacuum cleaner — but when I explained that it was a present for both of us, he was perfectly OK with it.

When I further explained that the Kirby people had totally suckered me into the purchase, and that I had been worried for the past two days about how he was going to react, he was amused (as I predicted) and assured me that he wasn't mad (as I also predicted).

Aaron seems to approve of the purchase, as we should never have to buy another vacuum cleaner again. So, Merry Christmas (or Happy Festivus) to us. :-)

Things I Shouldn't Share With The Entire Internet

I haven't been to a dentist in... *counting on fingers* ...probably five or six years.

When I did go last time, it was in Parma (where my family no longer lives), and I had several visits' worth of very deep cleaning. My gums hurt like a bitch for the next couple of days, but I actually felt a lot better about myself afterward. I was even OK with letting loose a big, toothy smile every now and then (even though my teeth are still crooked).

I kept up with my "tooth maintenance" pretty well for a couple years. Brush twice a day, use those crazy orange Stimudent sticks, floss (sometimes), and swish the mouthwash around. It was a pain when I still lived in the dorms and had to cart all my tooth maintenance sundries down to the bathroom, halfway to the other end of the wing. But I digress.

After a while, my tooth maintenance fell by the wayside, and I returned to my old habits. Suffice to say that, if I'm running late in the morning, I'd rather spend two minutes throwing together my lunch than brushing my teeth. My only saving grace at this point is two years of the Atkins diet: no refined sugar. Or, rather, very little — I won't pretend I don't ever cheat and buy a cookie or a Frappucino out of the vending machine.

So, from what I can tell (and I'm admittedly not a dental professional), I have much less plaque than I had before. I've still got tartar, though, and it's pretty gross. See, my bottom front teeth are very, VERY unstraight — one grew in almost entirely behind the others, so only one-third of the middle of the tooth is actually showing. Someday it would be cool to have my teeth fixed, I think. Aaron thinks otherwise, since he had braces when he was a kid and didn't take kindly to it. But, again, I digress.

Here's the entire reason for this blog entry.

I was in the bathroom just now, examining my bottom front teeth, and being understandably grossed out by the amount of tartar buildup behind the teeth. They all come together in funky ways, and the tartar tends to fill in the cracks where they're crooked and don't meet the way they should. It's weird. Anyway, I stuck a finger in my mouth to pick at it, maybe see how thick the layer of tartar was—

And a piece of tartar CAME OFF.

OMG gross.

What was grosser was that its absence left a weird depression/hole in the normal profile of the back of my teeth. Also, where the tartar had been encroaching on my gums, they were much redder than the rest of my gums. That was also pretty gross. I stood there in the bathroom with an extra pair of tweezers, peering into the mirror and trying to pick off the rest of the chalky tartar behind my teeth.

And I thought to myself, "If Aaron were here, I'd just show him. As it is, I'm probably going to blog this."

Anybody in the Toledo area know a good dentist or dental hygenist?

...

Some complete stranger is going to find this blog entry and comment on my hygiene like this person commented on my lack of style. Heh. I'll try not to be offended.

Obligatory Update

I don't particularly feel like writing right now, but I figured I'd give everyone a rundown of Thanksgiving and the long weekend.

OK, first off: Aaron and I were maybe 15 minutes down the turnpike, heading toward Cleveland, when I started swearing vehemently. Aaron didn't miss a beat: "Pie," he said.

I'd left it in the fridge.

We didn't go back to get it, although we ended up making good enough time (and dinner ended up being late enough) that we totally could have doubled back and gotten the pie. Ah, well — more for us.

Thanksgiving wasn't as weird as it could have been. We spent a lot of time chatting with Pete's kids, who range from 12 (I think?) to 21. Joe, the youngest, finally hit the beginning of his growth spurt and voice change, so that was unexpected and kind of weird to witness. Grammie's getting a little forgetful in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's, and Aunt Elaine is going into a nursing home this week due to her own Alzheimer's-related issues. Things had the potential to be awkward, but really weren't.

As far as Atkins cheating goes, oh yeah. I cheated, and I didn't regret it. (Very much.) In the category of not-Atkins-friendly foods, I ate stuffing and sweet potatoes and a little pie, among other things. Oh, and the acorn squash with brown sugar and honey and whatever else couldn't have been too good for me, either. But there was also ham and turkey and green bean casserole and fruit salad and mashed potatoes and gravy (although I opted to pass on the potatoes).

This week, Aaron's starting back up on Induction again. He's changed jobs at work, from a labor-intensive job to a fairly sedentary one, and he's not happy with the weight he's gained. So, I'm doing Induction with him. I, too, have gained back most of what I lost in our early October two-week Induction, unfortunately. I'm hoping that some of that is just pre-PMS water weight, but I can't count on that.

I'm going to make a concerted effort to exercise daily, also. Since it's getting colder (and rainy / snowy), I'm not going to be able to have my lunchtime walk in the park, so I'll have to plan some evening indoor activity. Yoga, pilates, tae bo (maybe... Billy Blanks kicks my ass, as a general rule), trampolining / rebounding, or just working out with my free weights. Today was a gorgeous day for November (60°F in Ohio!), so I went ahead and walked. Tomorrow may be 40° and not rainy, so I may walk tomorrow, too. After that, though... *thumbs down*

In other unrelated news, I've loaded up my Brownie Bullet camera and am planning to shoot a test roll this week. It looks like it'll cost me around fifteen bucks to get it developed, though, which kind of sucks.

In even more unrelated news, my old RCC cohort Jeff Hawley included me in his mass e-mail update today! I haven't talked to him for maybe three or four years. Turns out he's finished writing a film script, is engaged to a Japanese girl, and did graduate work in England (although I'd already heard that last bit through the grapevine). I e-mailed him back and shared my much less interesting life events with him.

I'm not unhappy with my life, though. I turned out a lot more normal than I could have — and, when I say "normal," I mean it as a completely good thing.

So Tired

Today at work was a pretty blah day. Worked on some boring reports that are sure to put anyone to sleep. I made it through, though.

Then I walked out to my car and saw the flat tire. Nice. Waited for my two co-worker guys to walk out to the parking lot and asked them, "Do you think that's too flat to drive on?" Oh, yeah.

Borrowed James's cell phone to call Aaron and let him know I might be late, all while the manly-men are switching out the nail-ridden tire for the donut. They changed the tire in six minutes flat, while I was on the phone. I thanked James and Rob profusely and drove home on the donut.

I had about two minutes with Aaron before he had to leave for work. During that time, he gave me a hug and I got to open the Kujibiki Unbalance patches I ordered from Japan for this weekend's cosplay. Anyway, he took the other car to work, so he wouldn't be driving on the donut, and so the Contour will be in position for me to take it to work tomorrow myself, instead of the Kia.

Once Aaron left, it was time to go vote. I'm relatively new at this voting thing, having only become politically active at the last presidential election. Our polling place had changed, since the school where we voted last time is now under renovation. I had no trouble finding it, though, and beelined past the NBC 24 camera before they could get a shot with me in it.

I really, really dig the new touch-screen voting machines. Much better than the friggin' Scantron-style bubble sheets we had to fill out last time. Having people from the same neighborhood in the same room was kind of fun, too, and made me long for the days of real community. (The Browns fan behind me telling the Steelers fan in front of me that she shouldn't be wearing that Steelers jacket made for some surprisingly pleasant banter.)

So, voting done, I went home via the gas station to fill up. The Kia had less than an eighth of a tank left, and I filled it for $20.05, which is a welcome change from the $28 of yore (i.e. summer).

OK. Tire changed, husband hugged, voted, gassed up, and back home. Time for food. Threw some sausages in the microwave and voila, dinner is served.

Scarfed that down. Now it's time to get down to business.

This evening was supposed to entail me researching and outlining tomorrow's podcast and finishing up my Kujian helmet. Instead, I ended up talking on the phone with Ann, the new LSM Public Relations committee chair, for 20 minutes about what we should do for press releases. Started looking for some podsafe music for my podcast.

Aaaaand I'm done. I am completely exhausted, and it's not even 10:00 yet. I want to get my podcast done and uploaded tomorrow, so that my biweekly schedule isn't totally out the window by show #2, and so that I have Thursday to do the last-minute finishing-up of my cosplay outfit. I really wanted to work on that tonight, but I'm afraid I'd fuck it up at this point.

I'm so tired, I don't even want to add to my NaNo or play Civ 4. Now *that's* tired. Ugh.

Maybe I need to print out all my low-carb materials, bring them to work, and forego my lunchtime walk in favor of scripting out my podcast. Not a bad idea, although I'll miss my outside time.

*checks weather.com*

Hmm... mid 50s and windy. Not horrible weather for walking, actually. Oh, well.

Gaming Update

Decided to suck it up and buy a new video card. Got a GeForce 4 MX 4000 from Best Buy for sixty bucks. Now Civ 4 runs great (or good enough for me), and my computer actually seems faster now that it's not devoting 96MB of its own RAM to the onboard video.

I figured it was a good investment, anyway. WTF.

Fan-Freaking-Tastic

So, I saved five bucks by getting the new Civilization IV Presell Edition from Amazon with free shipping, which meant that, yes, I got the cool spiral-bound manual and fold-out Tech Tree and keyboard shortcut map and neato box and all that. For only $44.99!

It took a while to get it, what with the free Super Saver shipping and all, so when it arrived, all my willpower to resist playing Civ 4 went straight out the window.

Then I tried to play it.

Dude, where's my map? I can't see anything! I thought at first that maybe I just hadn't explored far enough, but once I started building cottages and roads and pastures and shit, and I *still* couldn't see, I realized something was terribly wrong.

Dude, where's your head?! This looks like the outtakes from Shrek — you know, where they accidentally rendered Donkey inside-out? And his teeth and eyeballs were on the outside, and his fur was all spiky? Yeah.

Updated my video drivers, no help there. Tried a Windows Update, but I'm good there, too. Finally, I found a forum off of the 2kgames website, where I learned all about the "T&L" graphics thingie I read about on the box:

Solver (forum staff member) says:

T&L is a requirement, and that Intel graphics craptroller doesn't have it.

Yes, indeedy, my Dell Dimension 3000 has an integrated Intel graphics card.

*pauses for giant hissy fit*

OMG, Civ is one of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE games. I never needed anything fancy with my graphics card before. I'm not a big PC gamer, really. I'm content with Civ and Starcraft and occasionally Warcraft.

I'm not sure who to be pissed at: the makers of Civ 4, who assumed that everyone who's anyone would have a graphics card that supports T&L (which I'm honestly still not sure what it is which stands for Transform & Lighting, an apparent staple of 3D graphics), or the nice people at Dell and Intel, who didn't integrate what seems to be a fairly normal and not at all cutting-edge technology into their graphics cards.

In either case, the game is currently fucking unplayable on my machine. I either have to a.) hope to God it plays on Aaron's Dell Dimension 4600, and that he won't mind if I bogart his computer while he's gone at work, b.) spend X number of dollars on a new graphics card (does my computer even have another slot for a graphics card?), or c.) cry a lot and bang my head on my keyboard.

Fuckity fuck fuck goddamn mother fuck.

It looked like it was going to be so super fucking cool, too. I am severely pissed right now.

FUCK.

(And, yes, I know it's just a game. But I've been super-geeked to play this game for over a month now, and this is really shitty.)

Update: Wish I would have known about this site before I blew $45 on Civ 4:

Oh, and FYI? I am not buying any of the fucking $300 video cards they recommend. Maybe I'll dig up some reviews of the Diamond Stealth S80 or the GeForce4 MX 4000 or something. Effectively turning my cool $45 game into a $100 game.

*sigh* Just chalk another one up to me being a big stupid fuckhead sometimes.

Podcasts That Should Be Created

I wanted to find a podcast about low-carb eating, but the only one I could find hadn't released a new episode for months. So, I decided to produce one myself. However... there are still some topics I'm not qualified to podcast about myself, yet I wish there were a podcast out there for them. These topics include:

• Gardening, esp. in the Midwest
• Tai Chi / Qi Gong
• Genealogy [found one!]

...and, um, I had an entire list in my head of podcasts I wanted to hear, but I can't think of any of them now. D'oh! This just turned into a really pointless entry, but I'll go with it anyway.

I think it's time to go to bed.

Massive Update on Stuff In General

I took my final half-day off of work today so I could go to lunch with two women I used to work with. We caught up on each other's lives (mainly work-related), reminisced about the Bad Old Days...

24 September 2002: Just Another Day...

Hey, for once I worked an 8-hour day! Yeah, we were doing so well that we actually took a one-hour lunch and everything. Just for reference, yesterday I worked a 14-hour day. Seriously. My co-worker and almost-supervisor, Loni, worked an hour and a half more than me, since she came in at 6am. Damn, that sucked. Makes the normal 8-hour day seem like a luxury instead of a burden.

...and ate some yummy Mexican food. And despite my lack of a lunchtime walk, I still got my podcast-listening time in, since a.) our lunch meeting was a half hour south of where I work, and b.) I bought a Kensington FM transmitter for the iPod(s).

When I got home, I had intended to work on the LSM site, as it needs some stuff added and updated (like audition info). Instead, I ended up finishing off the cosplay skirt. Yes, indeed, the skirt is complete! Well, except for possibly adding some velcro for good measure, and the final ironing before we leave for Youmacon in two weeks.

Don't worry, I'll definitely post pictures of me and Aaron in costume. :-)

What else...? Oh, yeah, tonight's dinner. I know, blogging about what I made for dinner is certifiably lame, but this was really good. Ten-Minute Szechuan Chicken. It's really easy (even I can do it), and really good... but, now that I think about it, I think I'm going to put the recipe on my next Low Carb Lifestyle podcast, so I'm not going to publish it here yet. If you download this old-school DOS recipe filing program, though, I could be convinced to e-mail you the database file that this fantastic recipe came from. (Thanks, Uncle Pete!)

Yesterday, I told the Acting Executive Director of LSM that I've decided not to march next year. He was understandably disappointed, but he completely understood, which is cool.

I'm sure there's other stuff I should write about, but that's the overall rundown of everything I wanted to mention. Now I'm going to go work on the LSM page. Yay for contact info and audition info and pictures? w00t.

Funk, Again.

Feeling all *meh* this evening. Don't know what my problem is.

I went back through my blog archives, though, and saw that the last time I felt all *meh* like this, a couple months ago, I played Civ III to ease my non-existent woes. That sounds like a plan.

I can't wait until my Civ IV Presell Edition arrives.

I Can't Believe I Got Suckered Into Another Meme

I just did one of these last month from my work e-mail, but for some reason, reading talcotts ' Q & A made me want to do this particular one.

Read on if you'd like to know more about me.

read more...

Seven Degrees of Separation

I love Technorati because I love to figure out how random strangers find my page. There aren't many, but I'd like to welcome Jesse to the fold.

No, not the fold. The club? The elite? No. Um, welcome to the... party? Yeah.

Now, check this. As far as I can figure out, Jesse frequents fantasy-writers.org, a site maintained by Elizabeth Clouse. Liz is my friend Dan's sister, and Dan helps to manage her site. I've surfed around fantasy-writers.org, though, and I can't seem to find any linkage to Dan's personal site anywhere. Dan does link to me from his site, though.

So, I'm not quite sure how and where the blogsurfing went, exactly, but that's how we're linked in some roundabout way.

Or did Jesse find me from somewhere else, followed MY link to Dan, and HIS link to his sister's site? *brain explodes*

'Fess up, Jess. I'm curious. My audience is small. How did you happen to read my random rantings?

...Aaaaaand I'm a dork.

Things That Make Me Depressed

When I realize I'm neglecting a given website and think to myself (way in advance), "Gee, once I'm done redesigning this website, I should really go spruce up that other one."

Then, right before I launch the redesigned website, and am almost ready to think about the neglected website, someone e-mails the mailing list related to said neglected site and says, "Hey. Why isn't this site ever updated?" Then I feel like a schmuck, and publicly apologize for sucking, and share my plans for updating the neglected site. Other list members express their appreciation. I feel better about myself.

Then the person (I hesitate to call the person The Complainant) e-mails the list again, just to say that they didn't mean to start a fight, but really, why is the webmistress giving lame excuses for neglecting the site?

Which, of course, puts me into instant "fuck you" defensive mode, partnered with an unnecessary depression. Not a good way to get motivated to finish the LSM site.

Sometimes I think I should just let someone else take it over. Sure, the entire website was my own idea back in the day (1996), and yeah, that was what made me learn HTML in the first place... but maybe it's time for someone else to take over.

Maybe I will.

I'll give it some thought.

Update, 10:05pm: I told the mailing list of my poor neglected site to give me six weeks in which to turn the site around. If they're not satisfied with the site by Veterans' Day, I will abdicate in favor of a new webmaster of their choosing.

Still depressed. Still haven't done any work on the LSM site tonight. Still has to go live either tomorrow night or Saturday morning.

I hate being depressed when I shouldn't be. I'm going to bed.

Brief Hiatus

There is a distinct possibility that I may be posting less over the next couple of weeks, as I really need to get the Lakeshoremen website ready for its October 1st launch date.

I thought it was all just busywork left, but I apparently still have some troubleshooting to do. I'm going to spend another evening on this particular problem of mine, then if I haven't figured out why my variables aren't talking to each other, I'll ask my geeky homies to get my back.

So, updates will be limited in the very near future, unless something really fascinating happens in the next couple weeks (and I wouldn't count that out entirely) or unless I really get a bug up my ass about something (again, don't rule that out either, as I do have a couple blog entries brewing in my head).

In that same vein: if you've e-mailed me recently and I haven't responded, don't worry. I still love you. You don't suck. I suck.

But, right now, I sleep.

Still Here

Not much to report.

Can't get motivated to finish the LSM site, although I only have two weeks left. Still have a couple of issues to tweak out, like how precisely to have visitors download files stored outside the web root directory (for security's sake).

Aaron got half a day off of work today to study sort guides for his new, easier UPS job, so I got to see him all evening. We went out to dinner at the Happy Rose, our new favorite Chinese Buffet With Sushi Bar.

My new iPod earbuds arrived today. What an upgrade from the Apple ones, and from the $5 Koss jobbies I picked up at Walmart. These are soooo comfy, though the behind-the-neck cord configuration might take some getting used to.

Saw the Arrogant Worms in concert at Owens on Saturday. Fantastic show. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel up to writing a review.

For now, though, I need to get to bed.

Cheerful Things

In keeping with the advice of my blog buddy Wil, I present to you Three Things That Make Me Feel Cheerful, by Diana (age 29):

1. Our one-year-old cat, Mei, has finally begun to mellow out and not attack my hands and/or feet under the covers. Instead, she tends to curl up behind my knees and purr contentedly until she falls asleep. Whenever I move or roll over, she wakes up and begins purring again, despite the fact that I've just made her rearrange her sleeping position.
2. My husband and I work opposite shifts, so he comes to bed around 4am or so, smack in the middle of my night's sleep. Sometimes, though, I'm lucky enough to wake up when he climbs in beside me, and I get a few minutes of cuddly snuggly half-asleep happiness before I drift off again. And, yes, sometimes the cat is still there.
3. Weekends. Weekends make me happy. And not because I'm not at work; like I mentioned, my husband and I work opposite shifts, so I only see him for 25 minutes every weekday. Weekends are when I get to have quality time with my soulmate, which is cool. Whether we go to a concert, an art fair, or just go thrifting, those two days really recharge me and make me a much happier person.

Now it's your turn. In this time of WTF-ness, what makes you happy?

[Note: Wil Wheaton is not really my buddy. Even though he likes The Pixies, and even though I thoroughly enjoy his writing style, and even though I feel as if we would get along (again, reference the familiar writing style), I have not actually corresponded with Wil, nor have I met him. — Hey, Wil? Are you ever planning to do that Star Trek Convention in Vegas...?]

20 Things Meme

Well, nobody's specifically tagged me to do it, but I haven't done it yet, and I thought it might be fun. So, here I go: the "20 Things You May Not Know About Me" Meme. I may go through some basics that my closer friends already know, just because it's interesting "me" stuff, but I'll try to keep it relatively new and as surprising and interesting as possible.

1. I was born to a single mother.
2. My biological father offered to put up the cash to have me aborted.
3. I qualified for free lunches in elementary school.
4. I went to three different elementary schools in three different school districts from Kindergerten through 6th grade.
5. I lived in Florida for three years.
6. I grew up Mormon, and am technically still a Mormon.
7. My mother didn't get married until I was 12 years old.
8. I took ballet lessons for four years, and tap for one year. After we moved to Florida, my mom made me quit because it was too expensive.
9. I was in Girl Scouts for two years. After we moved away from Florida, my mom made me quit because it was too expensive.
10. I was in the Gifted program in elementary school, and the Advanced classes in middle and high school.
11. I got a 4.4 GPA my first quarter of high school.
12. I got put on Academic Suspension after my first year of college.
13. I can play (or could once play) the piano, clarinet, saxophone, flute, trumpet (and soprano bugle), mellophone, guitar, and various odd instruments like the nose flute.
14. I have never smoked a cigarette.
15. I have smoked pot. Once.
16. I voluntarily sang in school choir for seven years, starting in sixth grade. (In elementary school, no one has a choice — everyone has to be in the school musical extravaganza.)
17. When I was in fifth grade, I wanted to be a computer programmer for NASA when I grew up.
18. The only person I have ever had sex with is my husband.
19. I now own five 35mm cameras, and one digital point-and-shoot
20. My eyes are hazel-blue.

Feel free to ask for clarification on any of these, or to do the meme on your own blog. Leave me some love either way.

Going Solo

Aaron has just left with Jessie and Kris to go to the lake, leaving me to my own devices for the weekend. This is my chance to tackle some projects I've been needing to do, but haven't been motivated to start in the evenings after work.

Potentially on the agenda for today:

• Do laundry
• Wash the dishes (not a major project, but it needs done, and I should take responsibility for my banana pudding mixing bowl)
• Clean and organize my desk
• Clean my corner of the bedroom and put my clothes away
• Work on the LSM website
  (and throw together a trifold brochure like I promised I'd do months ago)
• Practice my mellophone

I don't know if I'll finish all these tasks today, but I'm going to try to avoid getting sidetracked and doing something other than these tasks, anyway.

To start off, I think I'm going to go make myself some lunch and see what's on PBS while I eat. I ate so much at yesterday's potluck at work that I never got hungry for dinner, so now I'm starving. o.O

Too Much On My Plate

I've been working on the new LSM site for some time now. It's finally starting to gel. But last week's vacation was a vacation from everything, including working on the site. The work-in-progress needs to be shown to the members soon, preferably within the next day or two, and I want to have it totally complete in about a month. There are still some things I don't know how to do at all yet, like letting members download files from a directory outside of the root "public_html" directory. I know it can be done, though.

So, I should really be working on that. And practicing my mellophone, as we have rehearsal in less than a week, and that particular rehearsal will be our last full-day rehearsal before our final performance.

However... I have The Cleaning Bug™. I never get the itch to clean, and right now I have the desire to make things look pretty, especially the cat/sewing room (aka Someday Schnuthie Junior's Room).

My plants are also suffering, and probably a third of my houseplants require repotting for one reason or another. Many of them are wilty from heat and from settling of soil in their respective pots. I'd like to take them outside and repot them with some TLC (er, Tender Loving Care, that is, not The Learning Channel, although I suppose they could probably help, too).

Oh, and did I mention that I bought a Singer Tiny Serger at Savers for three bucks? Yeah. And it works! Hence the resurgence of the Sewing Room idea. So, I'd also like to be sewing. I have an idea for my next t-shirt surgery sketched out right here on my desk, staring me in the face, mocking me.

I need to establish this evening's priorities. Which sucks. Can't I just do everything?

*sigh*

Update, 9:30pm: Sifted through one box of crap in the sewing room while listening to the final episode of Earthcore. Sat outside and plucked the dead parsley plants out from the living, mainly as an excuse to enjoy the weather. Tweaked a little on the new LSM site, composed an e-mail to the membership about the Work In Progress, and fired it off. Still have a good 90 minutes before I should think about winding down for the night. Word.

See You Soon

It's probably not good form to announce to the entire internet that I'll be away from my place of residence for a few days, but... *shrug* If you ever wondered how that Habitec security system of ours works, I guess now's the time to break in and check it out?

(Note: Just kidding. Please don't break in while we're gone. kthx.)

Aaron and I are taking a brief vacation in Amish Country tomorrow and Wednesday, and checking out the Rock Hall and Body Worlds 2 exhibit (plasticized corpses!) in Cleveland on Thursday. So, I'll be incommunicado for a few days here.

Yay for vacations! I'll let you know if Amish Country rocks or sucks.

Early To Bed...

Ugh. I don't operate well on five hours of sleep.

Donna and I got back from the Massillon drum corps show around 2am last night. I might have called in a half day this morning, had I not just used an entire unplanned personal day for Flash Workshop Day Two. As it is, I'm already taking short lunches this week so I can leave two hours early to catch the LSM carpool up to Grand Haven on Friday. Jeez-o-pete's.

I feel a little bad for not having gotten a lot accomplished this evening, but not bad enough to force myself to stay awake and finish what I'd wanted to do. Looking up ideas for next week's vacation (Amish Country? Cleveland?), adding features to the new LSM site, blah blah blah.

Instead, I'm going to go upstairs and read some Harry Potter (I'm re-reading the series) and go to bed early. Nothing wrong with that.

Except that it makes tomorrow's work day come that much sooner.

Playing Hookey

I scheduled today off of work to take the Intro to Flash workshop that NISDM was offering down at BGSU. Before the class started, the director of NISDM pulled me aside and let me know that, if I was interested, I could take tomorrow's intermediate workshop at a massively discounted price. I did some quick calculations in my head — mainly regarding my amount of personal time from work, rather than my credit card balance — and told her to go ahead and sign me up.

Good thing, too, because if I'd paid $300 for the learnin' I got today, instead of $400 for the learnin' over two days, I'd be kind of pissed right now. It's not their fault, though. I guess I just knew more about Flash than I thought I did. Some workshop participants really needed the supar-slow pace.

Today, near the end of the workshop, we got into fun stuff like animation. (Of course, I'd already been putzing with moving my little home-grown Pac-Man graphic around the screen by that point.) Tomorrow, we get to learn about Action Script, which is what I'm really looking forward to. I hope tomorrow gets in-depth enough that I feel like I got my money's worth out of it.

I haven't decided whether I should call in to work tonight, in advance, or tomorrow morning before I leave for BG. This is going to cost me some half-days I'd been planning to take, for carpooling to drum corps events and such, but I can just take two hours off on those days and make up the time, instead. I'm just glad to have this second day of workshopping.

Like I was telling Sheryl, I'm feeling pleasantly web-geeky lately. Reading my Designing With Web Standards book, figuring out PHP and MySQL and getting a login system going on the new LSM site, taking Flash workshops... hell, you'd think I was a web designer or something. ;-)

Slackin'

Yeah, I know. I used to post every day, and now I post about as often as I shower.

OK, OK, not really. *paranoid glance*

I have quite a bit to blog about, but I've been working on other things and actually having a social life. Amy came up this weekend, and she and Aaron and I went up to the Ann Arbor Art Fairs. I have some pics to post of that, and I think that will be a good excuse to try my hand at creating a database-driven photo gallery. Anyway, that was my Saturday, and hanging out with Amy in BG was my Friday evening.

My Sunday was a drum corps rehearsal up in St. Clair Shores, MI. The staff shared some new information about our trip to the DCA Championships in Scranton, PA, but some of that is still privileged info. Suffice to say, that last hour of rehearsal was one of "oh shit, we have HOW many rehearsals to get this show clean?!" For me it was, at least. I tend to be a little high-strung about rehearsals, even without the unexpected kicking-it-up-a-notch.

This evening, I planted some Lilies of the Valley that Scott from work thinned out of his garden. It's not exactly the best time of year to plant, but maybe — just maybe — I'll be able to keep these full-grown plants alive better than the baby ones.

I also started working on the LSM site redesign again, after a week of slackitude that I could scarcely afford. I now have a userTable and an eventTable set up in my happy content management database. My goal for tomorrow is to complete a functional calendar and event detail pages. I think it's a reasonable goal, and one I can accomplish in an evening.

And that's my life in a nutshell. I have lots of details I want to fill in, but goodness knows when I'll get around to it — that is, assuming I don't get totally derailed by some other blog topic in the meantime, and end up forgetting to post about my nifty bamboo sax or about the abortion protestor in Ann Arbor.

Man... I wish I didn't have to sleep. Or shower.

Done.

Finished Book Six.

OMG OMG OMG.

These are *not* children's novels. Not the kind I read as a kid, anyway.

I had the inkling the book might end something like that, but I was hoping I was wrong. Damn... OMG...

Off to read Sheryl's LJ posts about HP6. Then off to bed.

It's Sucked Me In

OMG, I can't stop reading. I've been reading for over two hours now, more like three. Damn you, Jo Rowling, damn you and your addictive writing style and characters to Zarth's lowest hell!

...And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

*dashes upstairs to keep reading*

Damn You, Harry Potter

I had such plans for my evening. I made my dinner, I did my Yoga For Dummies, I checked my e-mail, I almost-balanced my checkbook... then I took a Harry Potter break.

Six chapters later, I haven't worked on the LSM website, I haven't practiced my mellophone, and I haven't written a review of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."

*sigh*

Nose to the Grindstone

Since faxing my Independent Contractor Agreement back to the company for which I will (hopefully) be doing some new media contracting, I've decided that I need to devote a two-hour block each evening specifically to design projects. This is because 1.) I need to get back into the swing of working on a given project without distractions, and 2.) I need to get some of my own projects done before I start accepting freelance projects.

So, my Friday evening and my Monday evening were much the same: make dinner, check e-mail while dinner is cooking, eat dinner while reading a book, finish that chapter. Then come downstairs and finish my e-mailing and blogreading and general crap. Between 7 and 8pm, start designing. Don't stop until at least two hours have passed, or until I reach a good stopping point (usually after two and a half hours).

These past couple of days, I've been working on making more comps for the LSM site redesign. I finally decided that five will have to be enough for a start, and I emailed the Executive and Assistant Directors with the URL to start a discussion of the designs. I think they'll be duly impressed. My current favorites are #3 and #5, I think.

Next step: learning MySQL and figuring out a database structure to make News and Schedule tables. I'll do that during tomorrow's design time. I'm done for tonight.

So Much To Do...

I hate it when I have a list of things I want or need to do, but none of them sound appealing. I could and/or should be doing any of the following:

• practicing my mellophone and memorizing music
  
• finishing my dot book for Sunday's LSM drill rehearsal
  
• finishing/fixing the halter top I've been making for Mom
  
• posting questions on the t-shirt surgery LJ community
  
• fixing the straps on my Drum Corps Unplugged tank (somehow)
  
• putting away my clean clothes
  
• watering my houseplants
  
• washing dishes
  
• exercising (maybe with my Yoga For Dummies DVD)
  
• working on the LSM site redesign

Instead? I've looked up the chords for "Fix You" off of Coldplay's new album X & Y, and played that through on keyboard and guitar a few times; read a few chapters of All the Weyrs of Pern by Anne McCaffrey, and generally laid around and been a slug. I can't get excited or motivated to do much else.

I hate that. *sigh*

Ideas About Schnuthie-Raising

I should probably wait until I have the time and attention to devote to a full-blown entry on this, but I really wanted to comment about child-rearing while it was fresh in my mind.

Nobody get the wrong idea. We're not trying for kids yet. Still, that doesn't stop Aaron and me from discussing our potential child-rearing tips and tricks. For instance:

• As a child, I don't think I was spanked/punished enough. Aaron feels he may have been spanked a little too much. Between us, I think we'll have a happy medium.
  
• Empty threats are useless. Back when my cousin was little, and my aunt would start counting to three, my cousin would shout back, "No counting! Stop counting!" The other day, I heard a neighbor counting to their kid, trying to get the brat to come inside. In neither case did actual spankings occur at "three" — come to think of it, neither parent ever actually *got* to three. My own mother was known to get to "two and three-quarters" quite often.
  
• Respect is mutual. If Junior tells us the truth and doesn't give us reason to doubt him, we won't rifle through his belongings while he's gone, looking for weed or booze or porn.
  
• Positive reinforcement good. Distraction good. Constant yelling and smacking bad.
  
• Sugary snacks bad. Soda-pop bad. Fast food bad.
  
• TV bad. We've seen and read about how exposing young children to television on a regular basis can actually contribute to Attention Deficit Disorder by affecting how the brain develops in the early years. The fast-changing scenes and quick cuts that are so popular in editing can cause a child's brain to develop in such a way that it expects such things, and is physically unable to concentrate for long periods of time. (If you doubt me on this, I can go Google the study later.) Our progeny will not be allowed to watch television until the age of two.

I know there's a lot more that Aaron and I have discussed, and I feel it's healthier to discuss it *now* than to wait until we've had Junior and we're exhausted from all-nighters with the hellian. That will be no time to make important decisions about how to raise our child.

Of course, all plans are subject to change. :-)

Movie MIA

It's not very often that I want to watch a movie. But when I do decide it's time to waste two hours of my life on pure entertainment, it really pisses me off when I have to spend another half hour searching through EVERY GODDAMN BOX IN THE CLOSET and I STILL can't find fucking Victor/Victoria. 75% of the VHS tapes in those boxes will NEVER BE WATCHED AGAIN, and I just sifted through them all.

OMG. WTF. All I want is my goddamn movie. Aargh!

Settle down, Beavis...

Little-Bit-Of-Everything Update

I haven't been too prolific with the blog posts this week, so I guess I should catch y'all up on the latest. Which isn't much, really.

Planted my baby plants on... Wednesday? Yeah. The mini daffodils are under the small maple tree, accompanied by the two snapdragons and one surviving calamint. Around the mailbox, we have three delphiniums in the back, three coreopsis around the front and sides, and two lavender between the coreopsis plants. I know it's too crowded, but if it becomes a problem as they grow, I'll just transplant something out. No biggie.

After waiting and waiting for the rain the weatherfolk keep promising, I finally gave the plants their Miracle Gro plant food mixed in water today. I hadn't wanted to drown them if it had been going to rain... but, after two days of no water, I figured that was long enough to wait.

I've been wearing makeup to work this week—I got myself some new gray eyeliner, and I've been sporting that with my favorite understated lipstick. And that's it. No foundation, no blush, very little eyeshadow. The other woman in my cube at work finally asked me today if I'd been wearing more makeup, and told me that I looked nice. So, I guess it's being noticed, which is cool. Next task: finding a quick but more elegant hairdo than my usual ponytail or loose hair clip. (Sometimes I wear my hair down and tucked behind my ears, which doesn't last long until I pull it back.)

Little things are important. Yeah.

Aaron cleaned the entire house this week, in anticipation of his family coming to visit for Memorial Day. Props go to him for straightening the downstairs, the dining room table, and the cat's room (aka the crap/storage room), amongst other things. Vacuuming, dusting, dishes... he rocks, and I suck.

I've been working on preliminary designs for the LakeShoremen website relaunch over my lunches and breaks at work. So far, I've made... *counting sketches* ...nine thumbnail sketches, one detailed sketch, and two Photoshop comps. Once I get more comps done, I may post some here for your review, since I'm nearly positive no corps members frequent my blog, so I wouldn't be spoiling the surprise for anyone. :-P

...Aaaaaand I'm done.

Relay For Life 2005

Friday night was the BG Relay For Life at City Park in Bowling Green. Around 6:45pm, the Sky Team gathered at our campsite for a team photo. Had I realized that the team photo wouldn't actually be posed, I might have taken a little more initiative to assist in posing people... but, especially as a first-year team member, and as I didn't know the person heading up the photo, I didn't feel it was my job to get the people in back to move up front where they could be seen.

read more...

Nothing To See Here...

Nothing new to report, really. Aaron's on vacation this week and next, so I get to spend evening time with my Honey-Muffin. Yay!

I still haven't quite recovered from my exhausting Sunday of corps rehearsal, though, and it doesn't help that I keep staying up late so I can have more time with Aaron. :-P Oh, so tired.

And I have so, so many things to do, big and small. Clean my desk. Redesign the LakeShoremen website. Work on my multimedia portfolio CD-R. Finish scrapbooking our honeymoon from two years ago (almost—next Tuesday will be two years). Practice my mellophone so I don't disgrace myself in front of a battalion of returned Marines on Memorial Day.

What am I doing instead? Watching Aaron play Half Life, figuring out how to install eyelets / grommets, taking a shower, going to bed.

(As much as I want to have kids... part of me lives for these lazy evenings. In a couple few years, they'll be a thing of the past.)

Waterville Community Garage Sale 2005

Last year, we got a fairly decent haul. The year before was crap. The couple years before that were phenomenal.

This year? Good. Definitely good.

As with last year, we started out at the St. John's Jesuit High School Garage Sale. Unlike last year, both Aaron and I found some stuff of interest:

+ The Best From Fantasy and Science Fiction, Edward L. Ferman, Ed.
+ Star Trek: Legacy by Michael Jan Friedman
+ World's Best Science Fiction: 1971, D. Wollheim and T. Carr, Ed.
+ Galactic Empires, Volume 1, Brian Aldiss, Ed.
+ A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney by Andy Rooney

Yeah, we're sci-fi geeks. *shrug*

We got to Waterville around 10:30am, which is impressively early for Aaron and myself on a Saturday. We started around the Kroger, which is a different end of town from our usual haunts. Good thing, though, because we ended up finding a *fantastic* neighborhood with tons of sales. We must have walked for an hour or more without even moving the car. Finally moved to a different 'hood, then got lunch at Kam Wah (excellent Chinese food), then tried to hit a few more sales, but were just too saled-out to keep plugging away by 3:00 or 3:30pm. But we got a righteous haul this year:

+ PlayStation console, no cables, works, $1
+ Palm IIIc with accessories, works, $15
+ small apple basket (which served to carry sale items)
+ mechanical metronome (not the electronic kind)
+ Game Boy Secret Codes
+ random assortment of terra cotta clay pots
+ metal watering can (to be used as a planter)
+ Sam Kinison VHS tape
+ Tae Bo VHS tape
+ two 45's and eight LP's

I must be forgetting something... Anyway, yeah. Good haul, beautiful day, great weather, and (as always) quality time with my Honey Muffin. :-D

:: ZZZzzz ::

Man... I get tired so early anymore. It's not even 9:30 yet, and already I'm primed to go flop down on the couch with a book and some sort of snack and chill out for the evening. I'm such a lightweight. *sigh*

On the agenda for the weekend: Tomorrow is the Waterville Community Garage Sale, which has become an annual Schnuth expedition. We're planning to start on a different side of town this year, though, because the neighborhood we frequent every year is getting a little stale.

On Sunday, we'll be doing our laundry and shopping a little earlier than usual, so we can visit Sheryl in her packed-up apartment in Perrysburg and bring her some empty boxes. And drive her to get packing tape and trash bags and other randomness. And go to dinner with her at Chili's or some other sit-down place. Good stuff.

But for now, I'll be heading upstairs to crash on the couch with my book, dissatisfied with myself for not having done anything of import this evening.

Happy Birthday, Gary!

I am destined to forever remember my step-Gary's birthday. Damn his mnemonic device:

"May the Fourth be with you."

*groan*

Underachieving

I hate it when I can't manage to finish just a few simple tasks that I set for myself. There were only a few things I wanted to accomplish tonight after work, and I didn't successfully complete one. I started most of them, and got distracted as I went along.

As I cooked my dinner, I started to clear all my junk off of the kitchen table, and found a paperback and a dust jacket that belonged up in the library/media room (where our books and DVDs and 8-tracks and games and such live). As I put those away, I remembered that I hadn't watered my plants in a couple of days, so I got out the little plastic watering can and gave them all a well-deserved drink. And so on.

Didn't finish cleaning off the kitchen table.
Didn't clean my desk.
Didn't wash the silverware like Aaron asked.

While I was doing other random things, like boiling eggs and making a salad for tomorrow's lunch, I was also making candles. That doesn't take much supervision—it's mainly hurry up and wait—so I figured I was good. I came back into the kitchen once the wax was melted, added just the right dyes, measured out the fragrance, and poured the candles at just the right moment during the cooling process.

Without adding the fragrance to the wax. *facepalm*

So, Mark, I apologize for the weirdness of your candle, but I had to dump the fragrance into an already-cooling candle. I ended up with some pretty funky tealights, too.

So, yeah. Not a terribly good or productive evening. And now it's time for bed. Blah.

Another New Toy

I have decided to try some home recording.

To that end, I purchased the Behringer Eurorack UB802 Mixer. It's certainly no comparison to the Mackie mixer I got to use back in my Recording Technology days, but the price was right, and it's good enough for home recording. After all, I haven't done this in a while...

If what I turn out from this little experiment doesn't suck (very much), you can expect to get a sampling when it's ready for prime-time. If it does suck, you can expect me never to mention this venture ever again.

Update: A couple hours of experimentation yielded a one-verse cover that doesn't entirely suck. However, I have remembered something. Something very vital to the success of my little experiment.

I can't *stand* the sound of my own voice. OMFG.

It's just one verse of a Depeche Mode song, me plunking away on my Casio and singing my little pea-pickin' heart out, but if you really want to hear it, e-mail me and I'll send you a URL where you can download it.

Please be gentle.

If I'd Grown Up In Holland...

...I might have watched Sesamstraat as a child.

Like the American version, Sesame Street, Sesamstraat features Kermit, Grover, Bert & Ernie, Elmo, Zoe (the little orange Elmo-esque monster), Oscar, and "Koekiemonster." However... they also have a purple Big Bird character named Pino, a pig named Purk, a Rowlf-ish dog named Tommie, and a rodent named Ieniemienie (or Ienie for short).

I translated part of the Dutch FAQ with Babelfish (because the Google translator doesn't include Dutch to English). With minor editing for grammar (but not enough to destroy the charm of automated translation), this is the result:

Q: Why is Pino yellow in America?

A: That is not Pino, but his cousin Jan (in American: Big Bird). Sesamstraat is transmitted in about 160 countries around the entire world. As lot of countries make their own version of 'Sesame Street'. Tommie, Ieniemienie, Pino, Mr Aart and only plays all other Dutch actors in the Dutch version. In each country there other animals that live in Sesamstraat. Because Pino is also a large bird he is frequently wrongfully confused with his American cousin.

The purple Big Bird just warped my little mind when I first saw it, though.

General Update

Cold: Still going strong. Tomorrow will be its third day of evil oppression. I woke up this morning almost unable to speak, thanks to a sore throat and general phlegminess. Keep hocking up loogies (which is a feat for me). Now my eyes are dry, my gums feel funny, and the cold finally seems to be moving northward into my head. This is unfortunate; this means I could be potentially be much more miserable tomorrow.

LakeShoremen: First performance of the 2005 season is this coming Saturday. I need to a.) hem my uniform pants, b.) make sure my music is memorized (which it is, just about), c.) finish the first draft of the 2005 trifold brochure, and d.) update the LSM website with some much-overdue requests from the corps CEO.

I don't know if I'm going to get all that done tomorrow night, so I'm contemplating pushing back the Sheryl & Diana Shopping Spree Part Deux to possibly next week sometime, like Monday or Tuesday. Not positive about that yet, though. If I'm well enough and productive enough tomorrow evening, and get my pants hemmed and my brochure done (which is entirely plausible), I'll probably still be into teh shopping.

In other news, Amazon.com issued me a new Visa card (the fools). That bastard thing singlehandedly more than doubled my total credit line amongst my three credit cards. o.O EVIL. *muah-hah-ha*

I <3 my new clothes. I've been getting comments about them at work all week:

- "Is that a new top? I bought one like that for my daughter at Kohl's."
- "New clothes? Very cute!"
- "I like that color [yellow] on you!"
- "Springy today, eh?" (from two different people)
- "New shirt? Very springy. Very cute."
- "Boy, you really must've gone shopping, girl! It's nice to see you in clothes that really fit."

OK, I really need to get to bed now. I'm sick and it's late and I need to get better. :-/

Yay, Clothes!

This post is dedicated to the anonymous jackass who posted the following comment:

From your description, it seems you need a "reason" to get up out of bed and clean yourself up these days. You're content to hang out in blue jeans and sweats. You have given up on makeup, hair, grooming and nice apparel. Congratulations--you will be nominated for the "What Not To Wear" show on TLC by your loved ones real soon!

...

Get yourself to a stylist.

Friday evening, Sheryl took me clothes shopping. Not in direct response to the above comment, mind you... but I will admit that it fired me up enough to realize that I hadn't really updated my wardrobe since I lost a shload of weight. I'd bought a couple new pairs of pants, so I wouldn't look like freakin' Bozo the Clown at work, but that was about it. I was still swimming in giant old shirts, some of them with subtle stainage I was hoping no one had noticed. :-\

So, like I said, Sheryl and I went shopping. We'd had an agenda of four stores, but never actually made it past Lane Bryant, as Sheryl ended up going absolutely ballistic on teh cuteness. With her fashion assistance, I ended up buying a pair of low-rise flare-leg jeans, a pair of khakis, a black skirt, a tank / shell with built-in shelf bra, one black bra, one white bra, and five cute shirts. Or was it six? Yeah, six: two pink, one peach, one blue, and two black.

I now have more style and teh cuteness. And a discernable figure.

So, here's a before and after shot. And for you, anonymous commenter, a hearty fuck you.

Holy Big-Screen, Batman!

Courtesy of Sheryl, for a whopping $800: a 55" Mitsubishi widescreen TV. Not pictured: Kenwood surround sound system (ProLogic).

Anyone who knows how big that damn orange lamp is can truly appreciate the scope and magnitude of our new purchase. Holy shit.

I Wish

I wish I could just clip my nails and pick up my guitar after at least a month or two of not playing... and play for more than ten minutes before my fingertips turn warm and swollen, and have clean chord changes and firm hand strength.

I wish I could plug in my keyboard after months and months of not playing... and be able to coordinate my left hand with my right like I could by the end of Class Piano. (Which still wasn't all that.)

I wish I could remember how to hear the songs in my head and let them out, like I did before I heard so much honestly good music and lyrics and became self-conscious about my own.

I wish I still had an instrument that I felt was *mine*. One where I could just think a about note or an interval or a melody, and then play it, without fracking or sliding or guessing.

I wish I'd stuck with my music more. I wish I weren't so rusty. I wish I hadn't managed to let even my voice go to shit.

I wish there were more hours in the day.

Girlie Stuff

I was looking through my old journals from Junior High, for some details about, well, when I "became a woman," as my mother would put it. I discovered that my journals are nearly impossible for me to read now without a.) cringing at my naivete and stupidity, b.) being amazed that I used to write like an 8th grader, and c.) wondering why the hell I wrote about such trivial shit when I could have written about important things, like switching from pads to tampons.

o.O

Gentlemen, you'll want to skip the rest of this entry. Really. It's for "women" only.

read more...

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

First, let me give credit for the photo that has been gracing the masthead this week. I *heart* Google image searches, although I do tend to swipe images without permission. (As my site isn't exactly commercial, though, and gets a grand total of 10 hits a day, I honestly don't feel too bad about it.) Anyway, thanks be to Jessa for posting this wonderful photo from her trip to Ye Olde Emerald Isle back in 2002, even though I'm a cowardly bastige and didn't ask her permission to use it. (OMFG, so jealous. Ireland is most definitely on the list of places I want to visit before I die.)

So, we all know that St. Patrick's Day is in commemoration of St. Patrick, who drove the snakes out of Ireland, right?

Yeah.

If you're interested in what it's *really* all about, here are some links for you:

+ St. Patrick's Day: Customs and History
+ Scotland Online: St. Patrick's Day
+ History of the Shamrock, Leprechaun, and Blarney Stone

read more...

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Iraq...

Found on Cynical-C:

The Iraq Culture Smart Card is published by the Marine Corps as a quick-reference guide for potential communication and cultural issues that may arise during a soldier's tenure in the Middle East. Some interesting facts about Iraqis:

• Muslim men who have made the Hajj, or the pilgrimage to Mecca, wear a different color of head covering than those who have not.
  
• A "quick upward head snap with tongue click" is apparently equivalent to our negative head-shake.
  
• Both the "OK" sign and the thumbs-up gesture are considered obscene in Iraq.
  

Oh, and by the way? I found the typo. Can you?

I am a Kottke.org Micropatron

I just contributed to a pledge drive.

See, a couple of weeks ago, Jason Kottke announced his decision to blog full-time. To that, I say Right On. Don't let The Man get you down.

Or, to be a little more grown-up about it: I really respect his decision, and I'm willing to put my money where my mouse is. I wish that everyone could quit their tedious paying-the-bills crap job and make a living doing what they love—or what they feel is important. It's not feasible or viable for everyone, though; so, when someone makes that entrepreneurial leap into an untested enterprise (but one that makes sense), I'm all for it.

And, hell, if you donate 30 bucks, you have a chance of winning a prize. :-)

But then I got to thinking... I've read Dooce for much longer than I've read kottke.org. And she asked for donations a while back, too, although she didn't offer prizes or anything. So, I went and donated 30 bucks to her, too.

My blog karma is now clear. I feel better about myself.

Guilty Pleasures

Um... I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but...

For the past couple of days, I've been on a Barry Manilow kick. o.O

I only wish I could find the original Barry Manilow Greatest Hits album in mp3. I downloaded the Greatest Hits Platinum Collection, but it's not the same. Most of the tunes are his 80's songs and remakes of his older hits, not the original 70's tunes I played over and over on my cassette player during that one summer when I was thirteen. (Gotta love double-album-length cassettes. That tape I once scammed from my Mom had is now apparently available on CD as Volumes 1 and 2, with a bonus track on each.)

Is it any wonder that I was a social reject? :-P

Excited? Or Manic?

I feel excited today, like I have lots of fun projects to look forward to later tonight. Since I figured out how to make the sewing machine go last night, I have lots of ideas of stuff to experiment with and practice, to prepare myself for making a fursuit and fleece hats and such. Half a dozen people in the office have commented on the tealight sampler that Holly bought from me, asking me what all I sell and how much candles cost, so I?m all geeked to try some more scents and add a PayPal shopping cart to my candle website and post photos of my available containers and all that. And on top of all that, I still have some updates to add to the LakeShoremen website, in addition to doing some preliminary designs and critiquing other corps? websites for design ideas. Oh, and I need to practice my mellophone and do some exercise (which I?ve been neglecting for the past week or so, due to various issues).

Now, if I can only maintain this excitement through the work day and make it carry over to this evening...

Update, 12:44pm: Still happy, even after a 10-minute nap during my lunch break (which always has the potential to make me groggy). The blue sky an fluffy white clouds are exciting me now, even though I know it?s still friggin? cold outside. I?m rarely genuinely happy like this, so I?m kind of basking in it while it lasts. Usually I?m depressed for no good reason?being happy for no good reason is a pleasant change.

Update, 2:59pm: The sun is beaming into the window by my cubicle, casting neat highlights and shadows on the budding geraniums in the windowsill. I?m still in a good mood, but not quite as much as I was. Now I?m just anxious to get home, and I know I still have two hours to go.

Update, 8:43pm: Not enough hours in the day. Not enough energy in the Diana. Made a yummy dinner of garlic-ginger chicken with low-carb linguine (yes, my own concoction), then updated the LSM site. Now I'm tired and don't want to do anything constructive. Now, even though I'm excited inside, I can't get enough oomph to fire up the sewing machine and make... nothing, yet, except strange patterns of stitching on practice material. Maybe once I chill for a while and eat a low-carb fudgie bar and find a new book to read, I'll be interested in sewing some more.

Ah, intentions... *sigh*

Unmotivated

Ehh.

It's not like I don't have a to-do list the length of my arm.

I just can't get excited about any of it.

I can't even get excited about sitting at my computer and watching Episode #6 of Fullmetal Alchemist.

I'd contemplate taking a nap, if I wouldn't end up feeling cheated out of a half-hour of my day. As it is, I'm contemplating just chillin' on the couch and reading a book I've read a dozen times before.

I really wish I could make myself get up and pick something to do, because goodness knows I've got enough to keep me busy. Review drumcorps websites and make preliminary designs for the LakeShoremen site; encode more mp3s and burn a new mp3 disc for work; put all my clean clothes away; clear off the dining room table; hell, I could even clean my desk. But my eyes are tired... legs are sore from yesterday's workout... brain can't concentrate... my stomach thinks it's hungry (and it could be right—I did eat a pretty small dinner)... I dunno. Maybe I'll chill for a while and see if anything sounds good after 'while.

Sparking Debate

It occured to me today that my posts as of late have been mainly fluff: avatars, candles, news updates, and the like. There are a few things I've posted about recently—mainly the Larry King Live interview with LDS President Hinkley and my Ohayocon pictures & review—that have generated a veritable fuckload of search engine traffic, which is fun.

It also occured to me that I could quite possibly have forgotten how to formulate a proper written argument. (It's been a while since undergrad.) This shortcoming could present a problem when trying to pontificate on a potentially controversial subject; after all, I'm not the sort to go spouting off at the mouth on a regular basis. So, when I do get on my soapbox, I try not to sound like a raving idiot.

So, instead of writing a proper essay, I will instead string together a few potentially controversial facts, and see where the comments go.

*dons flame-retardant gear*

read more...

To Everyone Who E-mails Me Forwards

Edit: Also: when you forward me pictures at work, please make sure they?re work-safe. A picture of a half-naked cowboy with his johnson strategically hidden behind a saddlehorn, while intriguing, does NOT qualify as work-safe.

Dear Friends, Co-workers and Relatives,

I do appreciate your desire to share something funny and/or meaningful. However, I have been on the internet for possibly twice as long as you have, which has given me more time to read the various forwards that are *still* circulating. This has also given me the time and opportunity to cultivate my discerning taste for internet humor.

In the interest of ceasing to waste my time and yours, I offer these points for you to peruse at your leisure:

read more...

Miscellany

Well, I haven't really been in the mood to sit down and blog for a while. I'm still not. But, still, there are a few tidbits that might interest those of you who don't talk to me very often. (Oh, wait—that's everybody except Aaron.)

So, let's see... Last week, I was offered a position as Webmaster for an organization of which I am a member. As people do Google this particular organization and find my website, I won't include it in the text of this entry, just in case it's not public knowledge amongst the membership yet.

The whole experience made me feel good about myself, really, and gave me a much-needed ego boost. Apparently, the Guy In Charge had asked my Carpool Buddy (also Assistant Director) if he knew of anyone who was well-versed in things web-design-related. So, since I've made known my web design proclivities, my Carpool Buddy gave The Guy In Charge my name and the name of one other person (who happens to donate server space for another organization I volunteer my time with). So, they asked, I accepted, and now I'm the Website Committee Chair, aka Webmaster, with my partner-in-crime as self-proclaimed webminion. We're working on getting Paypal set up so members can Paypal their dues; then we'll be starting on a full-site makeover.

On another subject: Mark, Aaron and I were going to go see Boogaloosa Prayer on Saturday night, but Mark ended up getting ill and staying home, so Aaron and I decided not to go. Good thing, too, because the Austin City Limits featuring the Pixies ended up being on PBS Saturday night instead of Sunday, like Aaron had thought. So, we unplugged the internet and plugged the cable into the capture card in Aaron's Dell, and gave this whole PVR thing a shot.

OMG. That was SO cool.

We made a DVD out of the Austin City Limits show, complete with chapter stops and artwork. (I'm still working on making print-quality PDFs of the insert I made, and on getting the stupid disc art to print.) Making DVDs totally beats taping a show on VHS. This rules.

(Edit: Check out JPGs of my cover art and disc art)

As for today... ehh. Started out OK, pretty slow work day. Ended up kind of really freakin' busy. See, we have to get all of our loan changes and modifications finished by month-end, and we have to stay until they're finished. Everything was cool until, like, 3:00. Then every goddamn loan officer in Sky decided it was time to fax us shit. I ended up staying 20 minutes overtime because of the workload and because of a computer glitch that made me enter a bunch of data twice.

Now, I wouldn't mind the overtime so much, if it weren't for the fact that the half hour after I get home from work is my only Aaron Time during the day. My half hour of daily Aaron time became ten minutes today, and that was after speeding home Gran Turismo-style.

And then it doesn't help that I'm *always* tired after work, and I'm getting, well, tired of it. It's just, goddamn, how can I follow my Amy's advice to avoid making work the central part of my day when all I want to do when I get home is eat, watch the news, and take a nap?

But we won't get into that. I just wanted to give y'all a quick what's-up. Oh, and it looks like my daily hits have subsided back to around 15 a day. Guess I didn't get too many new "regulars" after the Ohayocon post. Ah, well.

Quiet Time

When I was little (up until I was about eight years old), my bedtime was 8:00pm. At 7:00, I had "Quiet Time," which involved turning off the lights and watching the beginning of the evening's prime-time television programming in the living room with the rest of the family. No playing or running around, and I believe I had to be in my nightgown by this point.

Even at eight years old, I thought 8:00 was a god-awful time to have to go to bed—especially when it was still light outside, and other kids were still playing. But rules were rules, especially when it was a schoolnight. I remember Mom told me once that maybe those kids' mommies didn't love them as much as she loved me, or something like that. But, anyway, having Quiet Time really helped settle me down for bed, even if I did try to read under the covers afterward.

Fast forward to twenty years later.

After this weekend of drumcorps shenanigans, I was (and still am) aching in places I'd forgotten about. My shoulders, back muscles, thighs, biceps and triceps all ache—and all we did was stand there and play our horns! (And get high on breathing exercises. Easy, legal and free. Oh, yeah...)

As I contemplated my aching muscles at work today, it occured to me that I hadn't christened the actual bathtub in our new house since we'd moved in. Showers, sure, but no baths yet.

So, this evening, around 9:30pm, I put some 24 Gone in the CD player, went upstairs and drew myself a bath. (After giving the tub a good scrub, that is.) And, oh, how good it felt. I'd forgotten that I like baths. Oh, yeah.

Now here I sit, in my bathrobe, listening to the 24 Gone CD play itself out, blogging, wrapping up the day's to-do list. So relaxed. So much less sore than I was.

I think I should make this into my new Quiet Time.