The Ultimate Hippie Vacation

Just in case you haven't seen this...

A woman is selling The Ultimate Hippie Vacation with her crazy brother-in-law on eBay.

Scroll ALL THE WAY DOWN to see the pics and read the funny shit. Totally hilarious.

I <3 Geeky Political Satire

These are great. You don't have to have played Magic: The Gathering to appreciate these Katrina: The Gathering cards, but it'll make it that much funnier.

[Courtesy of krustukles]

Google Ads Amuse Me

How utterly amusing. I'm sure there's some witty comment that should go along with this Google Ad, but it's escaping me right now. Something about various defunct corps — yes, the entire corps — gathering dust in some insano fan's basement after having been purchased at a price-slasher discount on eBay.

VK 1996: Hey, man, can we come out now? Our NASA jumpsuits are starting to smell funny, and our families think we got deported.
High Bidder: Only after you play that song from Star Wars again...
VK 1996: Dude, you suck.

Everything Old Is New Again

Screw those mini-CDs I bought. This is the way I should distribute portfolio CDs and DVDs:

MAKE: Blog: CD covers from old floppy discs...

That is so cool.

A Fun Flash Distraction

Be forewarned: this game is highly addictive. I suck at it, and have only gotten to Level 2, but it's still fun.

(It nearly jump-started me out of this bizarre funky depresso lonely mood I'm in today... but not quite.)

[courtesy of fibiger.org]

A Note To The Neighborhood Cats:

When killing your prey in front of my home, please do me the courtesy of either finishing your meal or removing it to a more appropriate disposal site. It is impolite to leave the homeowner to remove two bird wings and a bird skull from in front of the bushes.

That is all.

Where's Waldo?

Can you spot Amy? I can! I think.

Amy, you were at the New Student Reception for the Biomedical Sciences Ph.D. program at Wright State last September, weren't you...?

Lord Vader Has Read My Mind

Playing 20 questions with Darth is quite amusing. I stumped him once by thinking of a banana, but he guessed my second item, a sewing machine, in only 18 questions.

This will be a fun time-waster in the future...

[via .: chromewaves.net v6.0]

Faces of Death

Aw, what the shit? You mean "Faces of Death" was fake? Serious? But the magician got totally skewered in the face with his magic-trick-gone-awry! It was gross!

Hmm. That just makes me all the more impressed by the guy's makeup and handheld cinematography abilities.

[courtesy of Cynical-C Blog]

Multimedia Amusement

I've gotten some highly amusing animated gifs and video files as forwards at work lately. So, if you're ready for a page to load up several megs' worth of bitch-slapping, fire-eating, and other random carnage, read on.

read more...

My Child Will Have Style

Now, I've heard that you're not supposed to put shoes on your baby until it's actually walking around. So, once we have a kid, and it starts toddling around like a little hellian, he or she will *totally* be styling in a pair of Chuck Taylors. And will be wearing this killer t-shirt. Or maybe this one.

I will raise my child to have the style I never had. I hope.

Of course, I do have to give my mom credit for dressing me in this shirt (she had one to match, as I recall):

Good stuff.

No, Really. Stop Smoking.

I tell every smoker I know about how my grandmother died from lung cancer. I don't expect it to help. I don't expect them to listen. I just wish I could make them understand.

Maybe they should all watch this PSA instead.

[Courtesy of Rori]

Episode III Spoof

OMG. This just about made me piss my pants.

Anakin: "Ow! This helmet is chafing my eyebrows! I swear!"

Obi-Wan: "The boy's pure dag-nasty evil."
Mace Windu: "Uh-huh. Ya think?"
Yoda: "Warned you we tried. Listen you did not. Now screwed we all will be."

[Courtesy of An Artsy Fartsy Weblog]

Telemarketers

Chase Bank, with whom I have two credit cards, calls me at least once a month to shill me the latest payment protection plan they've concocted. As I am a client of theirs, the Do Not Call List does not apply, unfortunately. Usually I am relatively polite and jump in as soon as I can to tell them I'm not interested. Sometimes I let them finish their spiel and can only say 'no, thank you' once they get to the Verify Your Name And Address portion of the show.

But, by God, if I say no twice, and they still keep trying, they get fucking hung up on. I'm sure the nice woman with the Indian accent is just doing her job (and she really is pleasant to listen to), but I can barely speak as it is, thanks to my cold. Don't make me break my foot off in your ass. Over the phone.

Arts N' Crafts

Via kottke.org: I may totally have to try this.

Cheap screen printing tutorial

I remember sort of enjoying screenprinting T-shirts in High School art class... and this would be so much cheaper than iron-on transfers for my photo printer! (And so much more fun!)

Now I have to come up with a creative T-shirt design... gah!

I Feel Like Poo.

Well, it seems I could only outmaneuver the cold/flu bug for so long. Today, I woke up feeling drained, with a kind of sore-ish throat and a mild cough. My eyes are kind of dry, and there's definitely some phlegm or something in my chest.

After witnessing Aaron's marathon week-long battle with this bug, I know it's likely to get much worse before it gets better. We're armed with sugar-free and alcohol-free cough syrup and two kinds of cold tablets, though, so maybe it won't suck as bad for me as it did for him.

*bracing myself*

How Epicanthic.

OMG. The lengths these Japanese girls will go just to get that wide-eyed Western look. I mean, check it out:

Sheryl—you'll have to ask Mariko if she swabs her eyelid with glue and pokes a stick in her eye as part of her daily makeup routine.

Misheard Pearl Jam Lyrics

How amusing. Someone made a kind of flash animation music video to the Pearl Jam song "Yellow Ledbetter." However... whether or not it was intentional (and I'm still not sure), the animation includes wonderfully misheard lyrics. Now, granted, I couldn't understand a damn thing Eddie was saying in the first place, but I know this ain't it.

Flash animation | Real lyrics (for reference)

I Must Be Retarded

I've got a Bachelor's Degree, a 140+ I.Q, and three books from the library, and I STILL can't figure out how to thread a fucking goddamn sewing machine.

I feel like a fucking moron. I want to cry. And the instructional video for Sheryl's sewing machine won't come out of the goddamn box.

How am I supposed to make a Totoro fursuit if I can't even make the goddamned machine go?

Motherfucking goddamn fuck.

Update #1: Managed to remove VHS tape from box, sacrificing one fingernail in the process. Am about to watch said video.

Update #2: See? All I needed was a walkthrough. The nice lady on the tape (who looked like she was from 1986, even though the video was made in 2002) was very helpful in showing me how to thread the goddamn sewing machine. I wouldn't have guessed any of that. Loop it through the who-huh? Tension spring? Wha...?

Anyway, I guess all's well that ends well, whatever that means. I now have a piece of brown cloth that has half-black and half-brown test stitching haphazardly sewn through it.

This could be fun. Challenging, but fun.

He's Still Around?

Um... is it bad that I did a report on Milton Glaser in my Intro to Graphic Design class, and I didn't realize he was still alive?

*facepalm*

For a fascinating interview with Milton Glaser, courtesy of Adobe, check this out.

Taxes: Check.

Just got done with Das Taxes. We bought a $10 book at Barnes and Noble today about filing your 2005 taxes, and it was actually helpful. Worth the ten bucks. Unfortunately, we just barely missed being able to itemize our shit. We gave it a shot, though, and we know what kinds of receipts to save for next year.

So, let's hear it for having our Federal tax refund to fund our summer vacation. w00t.

Aaron's quotable for the evening? "Use tax? Suck my left fuckin' buckeye."

Chocolatey Soy Candle Goodness

I just made a Hershey's-Chocolate-scented soy candle for Mark. Now the whole house smells kind of like chocolate. OMG it's making me hungry.

In related news, I'm going to be adding a link on my sidebar shortly, so visitors can purchase an assorted five- six-pack of homemade tealights made by Yours Truly—mainly to test the PayPal shopping cart system so I can implement it for the LakeShoremen (once I'm given access to their PayPal account).

Hmm. Maybe I should order some more scents and dyes and stuff. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy making candles.

Making Myself Watch TV

You know, I don't watch a lot of TV. At all. But I might have to start watching CSI if Wil Wheaton is going to be playing a homeless dude who talks to the voices in his head.

Holy crap. Wil's finally got an acting gig again! For what it's worth, from one teeny little fan of your books and characters... congrats.

When I Think About You, I...

High court says masturbation at home not an offence if seen by neighbours

My word... if you can't jack off in your own house, where *can* you do it?

Those crazy Canucks. Sheesh.

Appreciating the Small Things

Trivial, yet so gratifying:

Standing over the kitchen sink, licking the leftover cake batter out of a mixing bowl.

Mmm. Now that's good stuff. :-)

Are You Serious?

The Rim Job Fair? As Sheryl said—this has *got* to be a joke.

When I Retire...

...I'd like to travel. In space.