Get Out Of My Head

I’m getting quite disturbed by these dreams about wanting to get it on with someone from work. Someone, incidentally, whom I most definitely do NOT find sexually attractive. Nothing against him, but he’s just not my type. Totally.

I had this bizarre dream last night (I think—maybe it was Saturday night) that this same guy from work was spending the night in Aaron’s and my house (which, of course, wasn’t where we live in real life). In the dream, I totally wanted to get it on with this guy, but I knew that Aaron and I only had one condom left (yes, this detail was based in reality), so he’d notice if I used it and we were suddenly out of snoo-snoo hats. Also, when I told this guy I was hot for him, he once again expressed ambivalence about the situation. I think he said something like, “OK, but I’m gonna feel bad about it.”

In the dream, I had planned to lay down in the bed with Aaron, then wait until he fell asleep and go to the guest bedroom and accost Less-Than-Willing Dude From Work; unfortunately, Aaron woke up and knew exactly what I’d been planning. Of course, he was too tired to be really pissed, but not too tired to take care of the proverbial business with me, so I wouldn’t want to go to the other guy.

I remember feeling kind of bad for telling the guy I’d meet him in his room, then not holding up my end; but at the same time, I knew he wasn’t really into it, so it wasn’t like I was being a dick-tease or anything.

WTF is up with these bizarre dreams? What does this represent?

When I have recurring themes in my dreams (especially ones vivid enough to remember), I know my brain is trying to tell me something. I’m really interested in being involved in *something* that I feel is lukewarm toward me, at best. Since the main character is from work, I have to believe it’s something work- or career-related. The most obvious connection, for me, would be the few attempts I’ve made toward getting a job in my field, versus staying with Sky.

(I wish Amy were here to help me read my Tarot. She always has a fresh and objective perspective, but knows me enough to know my inner struggles and what the cards could represent. I end up reading what I want to read.)