I’ve gotten some highly amusing animated gifs and video files as forwards at work lately. So, if you’re ready for a page to load up several megs’ worth of bitch-slapping, fire-eating, and other random carnage, read on.
Here’s one I just got today:
Subject: Mark Your Calendars
Slap Your Co-Worker Day is Coming!!
Tomorrow is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday: Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don’t give a damn about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it? Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce tomorrow as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY!
These are the rules you must follow:
- You can only slap one person per hour – no more.
- You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
- You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
- No weapons are allowed…other than going upside somebody’s head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
- CURSING IS MANDATORY! After you have slapped the recipient, your “assault” must be followed with something like “cause I’m sick of your stupid-a$$ always messing up stuff!”
- If questioned by a supervisor [or police, if the supervisor is the irritant], you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE!
Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living daylights out of and get to slapping…..and have a great day
NOTE FROM BOB: I PREFER NOT EVERYONE COMING TO MY OFFICE FIRST THING TOMORROW TO SLAP ME. PLEASE SCHEDULE A TIME WITH MY SECRETARY. JUST KIDDING.
And, no, Bob is *not* the person who forwarded this to me. That note just got forwarded along and was just so fitting that I had to leave it in there.
Here’s an even better one. This one left me laughing for quite a while…
Subject: This week’s safety briefing
Blow out the shot before you drink it, folks.
The last one is a Windows Media video. Check it out, then come back and read the discussion.
Subject: Instant karma
Some times you have to wait for Karma to kick in, some times you don’t.
OK, now. For those of you who were confused as to what the hell just happened:
- The dude in the back seat, driver’s side, tries to be a jackass and knock a kid off his bike by opening his door as the car drives past.
- Rear driver’s side door smacks biker kid.
- Jackass dude loses his grip on the door, and his balance, and falls out of the car.
- As jackass falls out of the car, an oncoming car strikes him in the head, completing the karmic cycle.
- Friends and cohorts proceed to freak out: “I’ll have to call you back, dude—something serious is fuckin’ happening…!”
So, good times are had by all. Sometimes, I <3 forwards. 🙂