I don’t usually do memes, but I liked this one, brought to you by talcotts:
Favorite phrase when you have…
1. Eaten food that tastes bad
“Ugh!” Depending on the setting and company, that may be followed by a profane opinion of what I just ate, e.g. “That was fuckin’ nasty.”
2. Stubbed your toe
Sharp inhale as I wait for the pain to hit, then a slow, seething “Gmmarrrgh…” (It can’t decide if it’s a goddamn or a motherfucker.)
3. Become frustrated
“Son of a motherfucking bitch!” Or, if I’m playing Tony Hawk, “DO SOMETHING!!” Or, if I’m at work, I just become silent and turn on my iPod.
4. Broken something
Usually “crap,” but sometimes a “shit” or a “goddammit” pops out. Depends on how important of a something I broke.
5. Been cut off by another driver
“Fucking asshole,” followed up by as close of tailgating as I feel comfortable… which is usually laughable, I’m sure.
You should have heard me a couple weeks ago when I stubbed my little toe on the door. I actually broke it — the toe, not the door. The things I said put your “Gmmarrrgh” to utter shame. I think I may have even invented some new swearing combinations.
As you have been around me know, I have a gift when it comes to swearing. I sometimes think it’s a curse, like when I am around my son and a F this slips out or a goddammit or whatever my colorful metaphor(thanks Spock!) might be. But rest assured if you cut me off in traffic and you look in your rear view mirror the words F you, you GD MF’er will be coming out of my mouth…maybe even a colorful hand gesture. Yee Ha!