Lately, I’ve been taking one lunch hour per week at The Bux next door, toting my Bluetooth keyboard with me to write. I didn’t really feel like coffee today, though, so today I’m sitting in the 6th floor cafeteria in my office building, trying super hard to ignore the conversations around me.
Yesterday morning, I took a pretty good spill downtown while crossing the street. I thought I was fine at the time — honestly, I still think I’m mostly fine — but I do have some aches and stiffness that I might not have gotten from a fall like that when I was younger. I took some strongish drugs for the aches, and I’m still wearing the anti-nausea patch I put on last night. (I’ll keep it on until I reach the three-day mark or it starts to dilate my eyes, whichever comes first.)
I kinda feel like that overall. I need to get my feet back under me and move forward. I have lots of outstanding, almost-done projects at work; my personal clutter is strewn all over the house; my clothes don’t fit right anymore; and my throat and eyes have that dry, scratchy, I’m Getting Sick kind of feeling. I can’t really focus on just one thing and fix it — I have to continue my triage and keep chipping away at things.
It probably doesn’t help that I’m also behind on my self-imposed January deadlines: posting my 2018 Year In Review, posting a roll of photos to my blog, and sewing a piece of clothing from a commercial pattern. I’ve gotten some things done, like creating a 2019 calendar, making a present for Connor’s friend, Harper, and tracking all of my meals in WW eTools. January is not a total wash by any means.
I really just feel tired, which manifests as feeling depressed and unmotivated. If I can turn things around and get my head in the right place, my brain meds can help me from continuing the spiral.
I’ll bet I can get myself out of this thing if I just focus on getting to bed earlier and being just a little more active every day. That, plus distracting myself from after-dinner snacking, which has been A Major Thing this week. Maybe I can do some meditation during my usual snack time.
I’ve got this. No worries.