In true ADHD fashion, Connor finished his written assignments last night — yes, the night before they were due. I played the part of office assistant: printing his assignments from his Google Drive, fetching a folder for his essay, showing him how to use a three-hole punch, printing photos for his display board… and I might have done him a solid and fixed some of his typos before printing off his assignments.
Historically, parents have not been permitted in the dojo during the six-hour Black Belt Testing. For some reason, though, the rules were changed for this round of testing, with the caveat that any parent who interferes with the test will be dismissed, along with their student.
I asked Connor after our classes on Thursday if he’d like me to stay and watch, or if he’d rather me drop him off and leave.
He preferred me to just drop him off.
When we arrived at the dojo today just before 8am, the bleachers were packed with parents. I took a “before” picture (see above), gave him a hug, wished him good skills, and left.
It felt weird.
The black belt process is all about Connor discovering what he is capable of accomplishing if he applies himself. It’s not about my parenting; it’s not about me at all. This is all him, and I get not wanting or needing your mom to be there watching. Honestly, it’s better for both of us that I’m not there, since he has a habit of checking the bleachers during his class to see how I’m reacting to what he’s doing, and I have a habit of getting frustrated when he’s unable or unwilling to focus. Better that he’s completely present for his test, and not distracted by my presence.
Plus, I get my morning back.
It’s still weird.
I honestly don’t know if he’ll pass his black belt test today or not. If he doesn’t, it’s not the end of the road — he gets a chance to try again. (Especially since I’ve already paid for the next two years of classes for the both of us to reach second degree black belt.)
I also don’t know for sure if he should pass his black belt test today. Compared with his peers, his technique isn’t very precise, and he’s definitely not high on the list of go-getters as far as practice and preparation are concerned. It’s not my call, though, and if the staff decides that my son is qualified to earn his Junior Black Belt today (or in the near future), then I’ll be proud and thrilled.
We’ll find out soon….