Category Archives: family

family

Every Little Freaking Detail?

Are you tired of it yet?

I blew one of my weekly goals tonight: I didn’t do my PUSH workout. Note to self: six almonds is not a sufficient evening snack if I intend to snack at 4:30pm and eat dinner at 7:30pm. So I ended up coming home and making dinner before my workout… which meant I never got around to the workout. No biggie. It’s a learning process. I’m still going to exercise tomorrow and Friday; I’m not going to blow off the rest of the week just because of one off day.

Made it to work on time again today. Almost didn’t — clocked in at 8:05am — because I had a minor emergency with my new seedlings. Had to flip them around close to the window because their grow light went out, and had to water them because I removed their cover, so they lost their little greenhouse effect. But I digress.

I’ve been doing pretty well with not adding extra snackies into my day, and sticking to my prescribed menu. Today I substituted spinach for the salad I’d scheduled for myself — mainly because I didn’t want leftover spinach sitting in the fridge, and I know Aaron won’t eat it. He hates spinach.

A lot of my evenings lately have been spent reading Mom’s journal (ostensibly my “baby diary”, but also Mom’s “I’m lonely and want a man” diary, too). At age 22, she had all the guys looking, even with a baby at home. I don’t want to air Mom’s 30-year-old dirty laundry to the entire world, but suffice to say that it seems she was always lonely, but rarely really alone.

As a parallel: when I was 19, there was one semester when I went out with five different guys. That’s the closest I can come to understanding what my mom went through in the late 70s. I really feel for her, as she was back then.

If I write any more on this, I may as well just write Mom’s memoirs myself and post them to the internet. So I’ll shut up now. 🙂

Truth be told, I’m going to be disappointed when I get to the end of this diary. I’ll be jonesing for Volume II. Guess I’ll have to get Mom to sit down and actually write me some memoirs… although I promise not to post them to the internet.

family 2 Comments

Thirty Years Ago Today

Several years ago, Mom gave me the small “baby diary” she’d kept during the first year after I was born. She started it in July 1976, when I was 10 weeks old. It’s really a fascinating look into my Mom’s life as a single 21-year-old mother in the 1970s.

July 14, 1976:

Today Bonnie and I went to see the lawyer. I know it will be hard for you to understand why your father doesn’t want to admit you are his. I hope it can have a happy ending for all of us.

Well, we took you to have your picture taken. And you heard a squeeky toy for the first time. And you smiled real big for the man. Mommy was glad you smiled.

Your Uncle Donnie held you and you talked to him. He played a harmonica, but you didn’t like it.

Good night,
Mom

(It’s a small book. That filled up the whole page for July 14.)

Actually, now that I’m older than he was at the time, I can understand. I don’t agree with his reaction to the situation, but I do understand. He was 25, messing around with his 20-year-old girlfriend. He wasn’t looking for any of this. When he found out, it was probably easier to deny all responsibility. Although I don’t know if I can understand his offering to pay to have me aborted. (Sorry, abortion rights activists, but I am pro-life by default. No matter what I might have said when I was 15, I truly am glad to be alive.)

It’s been interesting growing up fatherless. I don’t think I was scarred by it — of course, I really don’t have a basis of comparison. I learned at some point in my youth when it was OK to talk about my parentage, and when I should just let people draw their own conclusions about how I came to live with my Mom and my grandmother. As I got older and more open with people, and as single parenting became less of a stigma, I began telling more people in more situations. Now I’m to the point where I can discuss my bastard nature with co-workers who are younger than me — and who, surprisingly enough, share very similar stories of their own unusual parentage.

I’ve never met my father face-to-face. It would be interesting, if awkward, to have a discussion with him about that stretch of time in 1975 and 1976 when he so vehemently denied being my father. I’m just curious if he really believes that he isn’t the one. I wonder if he ever thought about it, years later.

On a lighter note, I look forward to reading this while I blog about my own (still unconceived) child’s first year of life. Or maybe I’ll get a little diary and write a few words in my own hand after she goes to sleep at night. I know I’m enjoying reading Mom’s (and Memaw’s, sometimes) handwritten thoughts, thirty years after the fact.

Update, 9:40pm: Continuing to read through the diary. Some of these entries are making me all misty. Dammit. 😉

genealogy

Yep, They’re Still Dead

And still they’re eluding me.

So, today’s research: I got emails back from the Clermont County Public Library and the Ohio Department of Health. First, the *very* nice librarian at Clermont County confirmed that Thomas COOK and Rachel HILL were married on 5 March 1852 in Clermont County, but said that the record contains no information about their parents. I’m not sure why I thought that would be helpful in the first place, being that I need to establish a link between them and who I think is their son.

As for the Department of Health, they haven’t offered uncertified copies of death certificates since 2003. My bad. So, I’m sending off a request for Benjiman Smith COOK’s death certificate along with a check for $16.50 (ouch). I’ll wait and see if that’s helpful before I go and drop over $30 on the other two certs for Ben’s siblings. I’m pretty much just trying to establish where they were all born, and Ben is the oldest sibling I don’t have a death record for. (We’re assuming that the birthplace listed on the death cert is marginally correct, and that I might be able to someday locate birth records from that information. I haven’t had a lot of luck with his older two siblings, though.)

Tonight I mainly spent by looking up census records on Thomas’s and Rachel’s respective families and figuring out how they might have hooked up. From what I can tell, their families lived mighty close to each other for quite a while. Now, Thomas and Rachel got married in 1852, when he was 20 and she was 19 (I think). They had at least 5 kids: Isabelle Kate, John, Comadore (?!), Harvey, and William.

William’s older sister Isabelle married John HILL sometime between 1870 and 1876. As far as I can figure, their parents must have died just about that time, too, because William was living with Isabelle and John HILL in the 1880 U.S. Census, at the age of 12. I haven’t been able to find their brothers John COOK or Harvey COOK, and I believe Comadore died young (before age 10). Leave it to them to throw me a curveball, eh?

I think my problems would be solved if I could find William’s marriage record to his wife Ella, and if that record states who his parents are. I know from the census that they married in 1895. I just don’t know exactly where. Could be Clermont County, could be Butler County, could even be Warren or Montgomery (although I think those are less likely). I’d have to request the record from the county, since the state of Ohio doesn’t hold marriage records from before, jeez, looks like 1949? Wow.

So, yeah. The counties I need wouldn’t be at the Ohio Historical Society archives, so I’d have to contact the counties directly. If it’s in Butler County, I might be able to get it from the Butler County Records Center & Archives — looks like they’ve got marriage records from as far back as 1847, and parents’ names were listed beginning in 1894. Just in time.

If the marriage took place in Clermont County, it looks like I’ll have to write the County Clerk for the record. No big deal, though. Looks like they have marriage records beginning in 1801? Hmm. I’ll have to write them and see.

That’s been my evening. Man, tomorrow I need to take a break from this and work on my podcast. Can’t believe the marathon genealogy-fest I’ve been having this week. And I’ve barely even used any of Ancestry’s resources, which was the reason for this binge in the first place.

genealogy

Today’s Genealogy Log

Last night, I located some indexed records on Ancestry.com, so today I went to work on obtaining copies of the actual records. I have basic death record info for two of Grandpa Cook’s uncles and one of his aunts, plus my stepdad Tom, and I’m hoping to get the actual death certificates for all of them. But certified copies of death certificates cost $16.50 each! Now, I *know* I got uncertified copies a few years ago for cheap, just for research purposes, so I e-mailed the Department of Health to see if they still do that. We’ll see what they say.

I also located Grandpa’s Uncle Russ in the WWII Army Enlistment Records index, so I decided to go to the National Archives and Records Administration to get a copy of his military record. I filled out the SF-180 and am planning to stick it in the mail tomorrow, so hopefully something will come of that. I could potentially get shut down because I’m only his great-grandniece, and not next-of-kin.

I’m still researching, even though I should be working out. I’ll let you know what I find.

Update, 9pm: In looking through the notes I’d made in my genealogy program, I discovered that I’d found the marriage date of Thomas COOK and Rachel HILL. So, even though I’m not entirely sure I’m related to them, I’m going to try to work backwards. I’ve requested a lookup in the Clermont County Marriages book at the Clermont County Public Library, and hopefully this will give me some sort of lead to help connect and correlate my Thomases.

Update, 9:40pm: I just found the WWI Draft Registration Card for Thomas Oliver COOK. Not the Thomas I’ve been looking for, but one who I know is definitely related to me. This Thomas was Grandpa Cook’s uncle, who was killed when his car got hit by a train in 1924, a few years before Grandpa was born. This draft card basically just confirmed what I already knew, but also gave a street address of where they were living at the time, and the fact that Thomas was working for Dayton Wright Airplane Company in 1918.

Final Update, 10:15pm: I think that Grandpa was on crack when he said that his grandfather had a brother named Harry and a half-brother named Samuel. Assuming they have the same last name as he does, I haven’t been able to find them in any census anywhere that Grandpa’s grandpa is. The only thing this tells me is that maybe Thomas COOK (Grandpa’s great-grandpa) must have gotten divorced or been widowed. Or, I suppose it could be the other way around, and he could have widowed his wife, and/or Samuel could be hers from another husband. That would still make William Henry and Samuel half-brothers.

At any rate, I hope I catch a break on this soon, because this brick wall is really starting to tick me off.

genealogy

Where To Start…?

I’ve never done online research solely on Ancestry.com before. I’ve never had the run of the place. I’ve always assumed I’d have access to my U.S. Census Records Collection, a few free databases, and that’s it. Now, though, the whole place is my playground, and I don’t know where to start.

It’s a good thing I made notes online earlier.

I still need to work on finding all the pertinent info for Grandpa Cook’s aunts and uncles, because my “brick wall” is only one generation past them. I also need to find a marriage record for Grandpa’s grandparents. After that… I have census records going from 1870 back to 1840 for what I believe is my Cook family, but I need definite evidence linking my William Henry Cook to the Thomas Cook I think is his father. I know that William Henry had a brother named Harry and a half-brother named Samuel, but this information hasn’t helped me at all. I haven’t found a Harry or a Samuel anywhere that William has been.

To make things even more confusing and difficult to trace, William Henry’s mother is listed as a Nancy on his birth record. No maiden name. But, the only William I’ve been able to find with a Thomas for a father has had a Rachel listed on the census as his mother. WTF? I still haven’t puzzled this one out. I’m hoping that I’ll locate some marriage record someday that will make sense of this whole thing.

Well, I guess I’ll try to hunt down some more death records, maybe some marriage records, and maybe even some land records online. I’m going to have to put that off till tomorrow, though; I need to do some dishes before I go to bed.