Category Archives: randomness

random ramblings of Yours Truly.

randomness 1 Comment

Guilty Pleasures

I don’t ever look up exactly when it will be broadcast, but sometimes I’ll flip past Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team 2… and watch the whole show.

Honestly, it reminds me of drum corps in a way. It’s just that what they do is different from what we did, and even different from what the colorguard in the corps did. But it’s rhythmically-based physical routines in unison, and something about that really catches my attention, no matter what genre it is. Maybe because I know what kind of concentration and memorization and muscle memory that takes, on top of the sheer physical nature of what you’re doing. At least I didn’t have to worry about my figure in order to make it into drum corps.

I think the show is also helping me to break through my jealous stereotypes of skinny chicks: the successful cheerleaders have to not only have flawless bodies and pretty faces, but they are actually judged on intelligence, not to mention their ability to dance and to learn choreography quickly and accurately. The dense and ditzy ones don’t stand a chance.

I remain fixed in my assertion that many skinny hos are dumb blonde fluff chicks. Still, watching these ladies learn choreography and be both athletic and artistic makes me realize that I can’t jump to conclusions.

Plus… even though I’m a girl, I still can appreciate the eye candy. And, really, what girl wouldn’t like to fantasize about herself looking like a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader?

Don’t lie.

humor

Quotable: James Fox, 8/17/06

I was going through my purse, throwing out the random scraps of paper I thought would be important someday, when I came across this gem from last year:

“The only time I listen to my gut is when I’m hungry.”

James, you just said a cotton-pickin’ mouthful.

randomness

Turning Over A New Mental Leaf

I could have had a shitty evening. My portfolio was throwing fits at IE6, and I’m unlikely to get any work done on it tomorrow or Wednesday, as I have evening plans both days. I was feeling a little stressed.

Instead of freaking out? I meditated for 15 minutes. I chatted with friends over IM, which I haven’t done in ages. I posted a comment to a friend’s blog that was cathartic in its own way. Responded to my bestest Amy-friend’s e-mail from a couple weeks ago. And I figured out my coding problem, for the most part.

I’m feeling pretty good right now. Chilled. Relaxed. At peace with myself.

For the most part.

randomness

Well, Shit.

I was just sitting here, getting into some portfolio coding, when I heard something. Something like tornado sirens.

That’s my cue to turn on the TV and check the local news. From the bit I heard and saw, Lucas County is under a Tornado Warning and will be hit by the storm in question in about 25 minutes.

Weather.com says the storm is “capable of producing a tornado,” and that it also is capable of producing destructive straight line winds.

Hmm. Should be an awesome storm. I’m looking forward to it.

As for my portfolio… I’ll just be sure to save often.

Update, 7:15pm: As promised, awesome storm. Too short, but awesome. Sat outside on the front step until it started to downpour. Sat in the living room with a candle and Channel 13 News until the danger of tornadoes passed. Now, I’m back to the portfolio… but with a window open.

humor 2 Comments

Archibald Barasol

Other than my own name and “t-shirt surgery,” the search string that brings the most visitors to my site is “Archibald Barasol,” thanks to this post from back in March of ’06. Most people spend a grand total of six minutes on my site after not finding the text of the Archibald Barasol joke (probably trying to search for it and see if I posted it somewhere else).

Today, I received an e-mail from a reader who kept reading, even after coming to a dead-end in finding the text of the Archibald Barasol joke. She was kind enough to e-mail me and say some kind words about my journal, which I greatly appreciate.

As a thank-you to her, and as an offering to all of you who find my site by searching for “Archibald Barasol,” I present the text of the joke, as I remember it, as told to me by CC Snyder:

So, there’s this kid. He’s about 17 years old and in the 4th grade, and his name is Archibald Barasol. One day, Archibald’s teacher was teaching the class how to spell out words in phonetic syllables.

“Archibald,” she says, “Can you say your name in phonetic syllables for a star?”

“Hell, no,” he says. “I need an example.”

The teacher says, “Fair enough,” and calls on Johnny Jones. “Johnny, can you say your name in phonetic syllables for a star?”

Johnny stands up and says, “Yes, ma’am! You’ve got your J-O-H-N, got your John. Got your N-Y, got your -ny, got your Johnny. Got your J-O-N-E-S, got your Jones. Got your John Jones, got your -ny Jones, got your John-ny Jones.”

“Very good,” the teacher says. “Now, Archibald, can you say your name in phonetic syllables for a star?”

“Hell, no,” he repeats. “I need an example.”

The teacher says, “Fair enough,” and calls on Mary Smith. “Mary, can you say your name in phonetic syllables for a star?”

Mary stands up and says, “Yes, ma’am! You’ve got your M-A, got your May. Got your R-Y, got your -ry, got your Mary. Got your S-M-I-T-H, got your Smith. Got your May Smith, got your -ry Smith, got your Ma-ry Smith.”

“Very good,” the teacher says. “Now, Archibald, can you say your name in phonetic syllables for a star?”

Archibald stands up and says, “All right, you asked for it, fucker. You got your A-R-C-H, got your Arch. Got your I, got your Arch-eye. Got your B-A-L-D, got your bald, got your eye-bald, got your Arch-eye-bald. Got your B-A-R, got your bare, got your bald bare, got your eye-bald-bare, got your Arch-eye-bald-bare. You got your A-S, got your ass. Got your bare ass. Got your bald bare ass. Got your eye-bald-bare-ass, got your arch-eye-bald-bare-ass. You got your O-L, got your ole. Got your ass-ole. Got your bare-ass-ole. Got your bald, bare ass ‘ole. Got your eye-bald-bare-ass-ole, you got your Arch-eye-bald Bare-ass-ole.”

And the teacher says, “Very, very good.”

I have read variations on this joke; keep in mind this is but one version, and that I first heard and memorized it back in 1995. It’s also a challenge to type out, and is funniest if read aloud. Particularly with a southern accent.