The Anti-Spam Spam

Just got this in my Gmail:

If you’ve received this message – then your email address has been screened circulating on junk-email and spam related message lists. UnsubscribeNow.org spam-traps junk-email circulating online, parses multiple-recipient addresses and registers their ‘remove-me’ links into the UnsubscribeNow.org remove-me database.

To learn how we help clear and Opt-out your email addresses online, visit us today at www.UnsubscribeNow.org .net .com

Is this some kind of reverse psychology thing? “Those bastards! Why do they keep—er, wait. These spammers don’t want me to get spammed. I should go and sign up for this service they spammed me for…”

*brain explodes*

An Open Letter To Aaron

The UPS driver arrived at 6:40pm this evening. He did indeed have the two boxes of which you spoke. And the larger of the two did indeed have a very obvious big blue brand name printed on all sides of the box. It was the branding I guessed it would be, after hearing your “UPS is going to ruin Christmas, and don’t feel like you have to spend more on me because of the logo you see on the box” speech.

But, as promised, I will forget that I saw said logos, and I will ask no questions at Christmastime.

For now, though, while I still speak openly of The Present…

You Are Awesome. I didn’t even ask for that. You just knew. You are the sweetest husband EVAR (as they say).

I love you.

Remember This At Christmastime

(From a forward received in my work e-mail)

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should’ve known… ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.