Despite my laundry list of things to do (various websites, mainly, and fabricating my cosplay outfit), I’m still seriously considering participating in NaNoWriMo. I participated last year (although I cheated by working on my existing story), and I’m already signed up for this year.

The interesting thing about my writing is that… well, it arouses me. Yes, in that special way. Back when I was pubertizing, writing was my favorite way to get my ya-yas out, and I wrote some really cheesy (and utterly unrealistic) soft-core porn during the summer of ’88. (I wish my Mom hadn’t made me tear it out of the back of my journal after she found it, because that shit would be worth a giant laugh 15 years later.)

I can look back on that and chuckle… but as that was my longest and most intense stint of fiction writing, it did make an impression. Now, when I sit down to write, I have to fend off the urge to write erotic scenes between my characters, even if it really does makes sense for them to hook up. Once I write the Big Scene, I lose all of my momentum, and my story suddenly seems stupid and vapid.

All of my old stories were still living on my Power Mac up until this evening (which might tell you how long it’s been since I’ve written). In all, I have the beginnings of thirteen stories. Of those, sex scenes are a vital part of four and an incidental part of another three. In just the beginnings. Beginnings consisting of 1,000 to 19,000 words. (Most are between 2,000 and 7,000 words, FYI.) I feel like such a perv, admitting that I write smut a lot of the time… but admitting your problem is the first step to solving it, right?

According to the NaNoWriMo rules, you *are* allowed to do outlining and note-taking before November begins — but no actual writing. So this year, I think I’m going to flesh out a story idea I had years ago… and the few sex scenes, though integral to the story line, won’t be overly graphic. Neither will they be early in the story (I refuse to call it a book or novel).

This year’s NaNo will also not be related to my 19,000 word project that seems to be mortally stalled and in need of a major rewrite before it’s even a third of the way completed. (Incidentally, I only managed to add 2,000 words to this story during November 2004.)

I’m going to give it my best shot this time, and I’m going to try to make it PG-13. If I’m not embarrassed when November is over, maybe I’ll share my results.

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