dianaschnuth

Even if I forget to put my breakfast bar and other healthy snacky food in my purse, I must *not* purchase ANYTHING from the vending machine during the day when I get hungry. Otherwise, I’ll get home after work, eat dinner, and proceed to crash like a mofo, rendering the remainder of my evening completely useless.

Better to suffer through being hungry at work than to eat friggin’ 40 grams of sugar during the workday, and end up fighting boredom and sleep and depression by 8pm.

I remember making one of these back when I was checking out wedding dresses: My Virtual Model. I saw this on someone’s diet blog, debunking the “Marilyn Monroe was a plus size” myth, and decided to make one for myself again.

Just for shits and giggles, I made three versions of me: Before, Now, and My Goal. For those of you who are squeamish at seeing even a virtual model of me in only a black bikini, I’ve put the screenshots in a popup window.

Anyway, the Now model is kind of forgiving. Imagine bigger cottage-cheese thighs and flabbier arms, and a little more of a belly poonch. Hmm. Better yet, don’t imagine that. Might be better for your mental health. And, believe it or not, the Before model is actually fairly accurate. My waist was less-defined (read: I had mighty love-handle rolls) and I was… well, let’s just leave it at that.

That said… I’m kind of liking that Goal model. Even if she’s not quite what I’ll look like in 25 pounds. Oh, and I made a super-uber goal model, but I couldn’t even see me as her, so I opted not to post her. At 5’10” and 165 pounds, My Skinny Virtual Model looked like a skinny ho, and I couldn’t relate to her. o.O

I?ve been finding it just impossible to concentrate on my work for the past two days. At any given point, I?m either running out of work to do and I?m dragging it out so I look busy, or I actually have work to do and I can?t seem to give a crap about getting it done. Instead, I have a tendency to chat with my cube-mate or stare out the window or mentally play through LSM music I?ve memorized.

I?m also having a hell of a time resisting the seductive lure of the snack machine. I thought I had that thing licked long ago… but I?ve bought some sort of evil sweetness from it every day this week. I think that I?m going to give Induction a try next week: eat some breakfast and make myself some decently large, fancy lunches (e.g. salads with meat and goodies, or some sort of simple but yummy meat dish). I know that when I used to bring salads for lunch, I couldn?t even imagine being less than satisfied for a good long while after that.

I?ve been working out almost every day ? maybe not doing anything as intense as Sheryl?s doing, but at least I?m increasing my activity (of course, anything?s greater than zero). But that?s not going to do squat if I cheat and eat like crap all the time. Which sucks, because I can feel the workouts working. It feels good. I?m sore in different places all the time, which is a new and fascinating experience. 🙂

But, yeah. I?m trying not to get down on myself about the cheating, but still… I argue with myself all the way to the vending machine, knowing that it won?t do any good, and finally I just give up any pretense of willpower and just buy the damn Hostess Fruit Pie. And eat it at my desk. (OMG 67 carbs!!!)

Next week is a new week, though, and tomorrow?s a new day, and all that crap. I can start over, and discover my willpower again.

First, the word on weight. I’ve gained nine pounds back of the fifty I lost. Ungood. Aaron’s gained back 14 of his 60. We’re falling off the wagon, but at least we recognize the fact and want to do something about it before it gets out of hand.

Today, while I was at work, Aaron modded our Dance Dance Revolution dance mat and rearranged our basement to create a DDR Station. Now we can have our indoor cardio without me killing my knees on a sliding mat, and without jiggling knick-knacks throughout the entire house. Pretty sweet.

As soon as I’m done here, I’m going to go upstairs and unearth Aaron’s 20-minute ab workout VHS tape (courtesy of Goodwill or some other such thrift store) and go make my abs hurt. Yay, pain…?

Yesterday, I worked my legs (again), stopping only when my knees told me it was time. Truth be told, my legs were a little jiggly, anyway, but the knees were the deciding factor. I remember back in high school (before I had bad knees), working out in gym class on the Universal machine, on the section with the leg press whoziewhatsit. I loved that thing, and I could kick its ass, because my legs have always been relatively strong. (After all, I have to haul *me* around, and I’ve never been light.)

So, yeah. I’m off to go do an ab workout before I lose my nerve/will/desire to exercise tonight.

Edit: OK, I lied. It wasn’t a 20-minute workout; it was a five-minute workout. Various kinds of crunches, 100 reps total. I can tell it worked something quite a bit, though, so I’m not going to do any more abs tonight. We’ll see how I feel tomorrow.