Back On The Wagon Again

My final weigh-in of 2018 looked a little something like this:

My first weigh-in of 2019 was looking kind of bleak after me making the decision not to track between Christmas and New Year’s. I had one week to lose the two pounds I managed to pack on during my post-surgery inactivity and holiday-season indulgences.

Yeah… it didn’t happen.

Jan 8: +1.4 lbs

On top of that, I managed to reach a new “Oh, shit” weight in the week after that, despite a return to tracking (most of the time). As it turns out, half-assed tracking is almost worse than not tracking at all, as I gave myself the false security of thinking I hadn’t done THAT bad… except I didn’t track the Marco’s cinnamon buns my son and I devoured on Fun Friday, and I may have only tracked half the pizza I really ate.

Something has to change. I feel uncomfortable in my skin and in my clothes. I don’t like the way I look or feel. It’s in my upper arms, my middle, my neck, my face. I want it GONE. And I have to want it bad enough to make it happen.

I knew this was coming, since I had some forced inactivity during the holiday season due to my surgery at the beginning of December. Still, it was within my power to have dealt with it better.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda, didn’t.

What matters now is what I do next.

I’ve had enough. Future Me deserves better.

Outpatient

On Friday, December 7th, I underwent outpatient surgery, per the suggestion of my urologist.

Pre-op

I’m only 42. Those parts really shouldn’t be failing on me already. But, I figured, the inconvenience of surgery would be worth avoiding the future inconvenience of dealing with urological issues indefinitely.

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Circadian Rhythms

It’s obvious on this sleep graph where school started this August.

There’s a definite transition from the summer schedule of 6:50am weekday wake-up to the new school-year schedule of 6am wake-up (or thereabouts). That squiggly part in between was the week before school started, where there was no summer camp, so I took the week off to hang out and have some fun with Connor. Ah, that one glorious day when we slept past 8:30!

I find myself waking up at 6:30am on weekends now. I don’t get up and stay up, but I do wake up to go pee. Then I crawl back in bed and get another sleep cycle in before Connor comes to the door at 8:00 sharp and stage-whispers, “Good morning, Mommy!”