dianaschnuth

I snapped this photo because I absolutely loved the irony of the giant dessert juxtaposed with my Weight Watchers nametags.

Then I ate the whole piece of caramel apple cheesecake.

That’s kind of been my MO this week: self-medicating my fatigue with caffeine and carbs. That’s a spiral I don’t like to be in, so I’m hitting the hay just a smidge early tonight.

At work, I harp on leading indicators vs. lagging indicators — basically, reacting to the past instead of predicting and shaping the future. The caffeine and sugar binges are (partially) due to fatigue; my lateness to work is (partially) due to my multiple times hitting the snooze on my alarm — and it all traces back to sleep. Find the bedtime sweet spot, and things will start to work out better for me.

I hope. Sweet dreams, all.

It’s going to take continued effort to get back to  pre-Thanksgiving levels of fitness and healthy-eating fortitude, but I’m at least headed in the right direction.

I know that my main weakness right now is evening snacking. It has been for some time. I get tired, my mouth gets “wanty” (as opposed to hungry — my Mom used to use that word on me when I was a kid). Some days, I have the staying power to keep myself busy and out of the cupboard; others (like tonight), it’s a struggle or a losing battle.

This week, I’m down about two pounds from last week… but I have a way to go yet. My low weight in August was still ten pounds above Goal.

Now, I know that my weight is just a number on a scale. I also know that I saw what my arms looked like at kickboxing last week; I could tell I’d lost some muscle definition, and I didn’t like it. I also know that my face is rounder than it was, and my midriff is back to being a jiggly spare tire instead of an extra curve.

I’ve gotten so close. I’m seriously curious about how fit I can get, and what I’ll look like when I get there.

It’s just a continual challenge to break old habits and form new ones. I’ve already broken so many over the years — Chinese buffet lunches, Mountain Dew addiction, eating dinner in front of the TV — so I know I can continue to change and improve.

It all happens moment by moment, decision by decision. I read about the idea of each decision you make as being a vote you cast for who you want to become. I like that idea. It helps eliminate the all-or-nothing mentality, and makes the “bad” decisions sting less but mean more.

I’m on the right track, moving in the right direction. Always moving.

An old friend reminded me on Facebook (where I cross-post all my blog entries) that I need to do the “thought work” behind the food and fitness decisions that I make.

Sounded like a good time to reinstate the old Why Did I Eat That? exercise.

I don’t have it marked on the graph, but my Daily Target is 30 SmartPoints. I also get a Weekly Allowance of an additional 35 …which didn’t cover my indiscretions this week. Not even close. (But I at least kept tracking.)

Also, for those not familiar with Weight Watchers, the Points system is basically a way to encourage healthy food decisions — it’s loosely based on calories, with emphasis put on fresh fruits and vegetables and lean protein. Saturated fats and sugars are discouraged in the Points algorithm, as well.

So, depending on what I eat, my calories could look just fine, but my SP Values would be all wonky. That said, I ate way more calories than necessary on Tuesday and Thursday — 2,000 and 2,300 respectively. Sunday was around 1,400, but some of it was sugary snacks, which is why my SmartPoints total was all whack. On my two Perfectly On Plan days, I ate 1,200 and 900 calories, with a healthy percentage of my calories coming from protein.

You’ll note that I’m skirting the issue. So, why did I eat that? And what did I eat, anyway?  Continue reading →

I think I was unable to find any fucks to give once The Holidays hit.

Continue reading →