Breastfeeding Is Hard

When I was reading up on breastfeeding before Connor was born, the general gist I got was that breastfeeding is hard. Or it can be. Sure, it seems like it should be straightforward — whip out boob, baby eats — but there are so many things that can go wrong. I knew moms who had trouble breastfeeding, but I also I knew moms who loved nursing and did it with barely any problems at all. I was convinced that, since it’s such a natural thing, I would take right to it. I wouldn’t have any latching or supply or dietary issues. It couldn’t possibly be that hard.

I was wrong. Breastfeeding is hard.

Mommy and Connor in recovery

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My First Mothers Day

I’ve had this tendency lately to let somewhat notable days pass by without blogging about them. Once upon a time, I would have blogged every mildly interesting day in painstaking detail; now, though, I find that I’d rather use my free time to read a magazine or watch TV than write. If I’m not careful, though, these days will slip by undocumented, and when I look back on these early months and years of motherhood, the details will be vague and fuzzy.

So, my first Mothers Day:

Connor was a sweetie and let me sleep in until almost 7:00am. Usually, he’ll get me up around 6:30, but sometimes as early as 5:30. This morning, he woke up happy — actually a pretty normal thing for Connor, but still a pleasant start to the day. (Sometimes he wakes up upset, but not often.)

When I went into Connor’s room to fetch him from his crib, I found that he (and his Daddy) had gotten me a Mothers Day present!

Mother's Day Gift Certificate

This was actually pretty amusing to me because we’d just driven past this place yesterday evening, on our way to dinner, and had been making jokes about how we should have gone to the Beauty Bar when we were looking for someplace to have a drink after our last date night. Because, you know, it’s gotta be pretty in that bar.

Anyway.

Connor and I had some breakfast, and we hung out for a while before I put him down for his morning nap (sort of an extension of his night’s sleep, but in his swing). I read some of the latest Runner’s World magazine — a treat, since I am WAY backed out on my magazine reading — then indulged myself in a relatively lengthy shower, during which I shaved my legs and scrubbed my feet. Yes, that’s an indulgence; usually I rush through a hair-washing and pit-shaving and call it good enough.

Connor still hadn’t woken up yet after my shower, so I read some more of my Runner’s World until he decided he was done with his nap. Pretty standard Sunday morning stuff after that: gave Connor his morning snack, played for a while, then went upstairs to get Daddy out of bed. I got dressed while Aaron was in the shower: slightly gussied up in my new maxi halter and Skechers sandals from Zulily and my black cardigan (which is actually a maternity piece, but you can’t tell).

Me in my halter maxi dress with cardigan and sandals

(Incidentally, I LOVE this dress. It fits and drapes perfectly, is super comfortable, and is made of a nice light and stretchy material that’s perfect for a spring or summer day. I might hunt down another few dresses like this one.)

Aaron had said that I could pick the restaurant for lunch — and, if I chose our normal dim sum lunch, I could pick the items we got. So, I got a little fancy with the dim sum and ordered some stuff we don’t get all the time: baked pork buns, sticky rice wraps; nothing too “out there,” like tripe or chicken feet, but things we usually reserve as “sometimes foods.”

The restaurant was packed when we got there around 1pm, so the New Empire Connor Schnuth Fan Club (i.e. all the servers) didn’t get to stop by and say hello as often as they usually do. That was actually a bit of a treat in itself, I’m a little ashamed to admit. Sometimes, we’re just not in the mood to have our child fawned over. Sometimes, we just want to eat our lunch. I love that they love his cute little self, don’t get me wrong, but we’re not always keen on the attention. So, the busy-ness of the restaurant was a nice change of pace. Our food came out plenty quick, too, which was also nice.

After lunch came our standard Sunday Starbucks run. Nothing special there, but it’s always nice to have a little time to chill and feel like normal adults. Our Starbucks trips are like a tie back to our pre-Connor days to me, and a reminder that not everything has to change now that we’re parents. We’re still us, just like we were before, and just like we will continue to be. We still like the things we’ve always liked, including chilling out at Starbucks.

Connor playing with a Starbucks paper bag

At least, until Connor gets tired and hungry and cranky and bored. Then it’s time to go home. Such was it today.

The rest of the day was normal Sunday responsible-type stuff. Aaron dusted and vacuumed, and I sorted laundry and wrangled Connor. Then we sat down and got the grocery list together while I fed Connor. Then Connor fell asleep in time for Aaron to go to the store and for me to do laundry and do some blogging (i.e. start this entry).

The remainder of the evening involved us eating a dinner of falafel lettuce wraps and fruit salad while watching the episode of No Reservations I’d taped (yes, taped, as in VCR) from last Monday. Like I said, typical Sunday night.

As I finish writing this, Aaron is upstairs in the living room, rocking Connor to sleep. All in all, it’s been a good Mothers Day, and a pleasant Sunday, and I’m happy.

Dear Connor: Month Eight

It’s been a month of firsts — but, then, at your age, every month is a month of firsts, I guess!

Connor napping in the strollerYou took your first shopping trip at the mall! Fake Aunt Sheryl was pretty much Mommy’s personal shopper for an afternoon. All three of us hit up several stores at one of the local outdoor malls. You were pretty chill for most of it, until you got bored and hungry. After we fed you, though, you took a short nap in your stroller while Sheryl and Mommy hung out at Starbucks.

You got to meet your Auntie Amy for the first time! Amy hadn’t come to visit since your baby shower (one week before you were born), so it was super fun to introduce you. She’s used to being a baby roadie for her friends with babies, so it was fun to go out to lunch with both you and with her, and have her playing the part I usually play when you and Daddy and I go out.

You took your first ride in a shopping cart! Mommy and Daddy and Auntie Amy went shopping at Big Lots while Amy was visiting, and you got to ride in the cart, since you’re getting to be a big boy. You loved it, mostly, but you did get bored for a while, so Mommy carried you on her hip. You loved looking around the store, though, and not being stuck in your carseat. You also are a big fan of the wind and the outside in general, so you enjoyed the cart ride to and from the store.

You also spent your first evening with a babysitter! Mommy and Daddy spent a long time figuring out who to watch you, and we weren’t sure who would be the best choice. We had several options in mind, but then Uncle Mark said that his sister Missy would love to watch you. Perfect! The two of you got to meet each other a few days before Mommy and Daddy went out, and you got along smashingly. When that Saturday evening finally came and Mommy and Daddy went out for grown-up time to celebrate Mommy’s 36th birthday, you and Missy had a great time. Mommy and Daddy thought for sure that you’d be tired and cranky and upset when we got home, but you were sitting in the chair with Missy, reading a book, looking a little tired but not cranky yet. You seemed surprised to see us! Mommy and Daddy are hoping to go out once a month, so you’ll get to see Missy again.

You ate in your high chair for the first time! Mommy bought you a Fisher-Price Space Saver High Chair that straps into a dining room chair. It works out really well in our small dining room, and you seem to like it. You like smacking your hands on the tray, and it’s easier to get you to eat when you can’t see the TV (yes, Mommy has the news on while she’s feeding you).

You have quite a few new tricks, too: you’re rolling around like crazy, for one. Even though you’ve only tried the military-style belly crawl once, you’re plenty mobile. We really can’t leave you alone on the floor like we used to — you might end up with your head stuck sideways under the couch!

You’ve also started copying Mommy and Daddy when we stick out our tongue at you or make raspberry noises or cluck our tongue. Just the other day, you figured how to clap your hands, and now you love to copy us when we do that, too. That’s an improvement on you smacking your one hand onto your head!

Your clear plastic beach ball is one of your favorite things to play with, since it’s just the right size for you to hold with both hands, and you can wiggle it around to move the little yellow ball inside. You’re also a big fan of your bunny head and your catbus — the catbus lives in the diaper bag to keep you occupied while we’re out to eat or chilling at Starbucks.

You’re becoming a little 19.2-pound person with a personality and likes and dislikes.

It’s kind of cool.

Rolling on the Floor

Dear Connor: Month Seven

Every day, it seems, my little baby boy gets bigger. Learns something new. Outgrows something else from his babyhood, whether it’s the shirt he wore to Thanksgiving or something as basic as breastfeeding.

Mommy’s milk supply had been dropping for a while, ever since we had to start supplementing with formula at four months, but the final straw coincided with a week of training in Ann Arbor. Mommy wasn’t able to take her proper morning and afternoon pump breaks for four days straight, and things were never the same after that. Mommy used to pump about three ounces every time; this month, it dropped down to just one ounce, and then even less.

The final partial bottle of pumped milk in the fridgeA couple of weeks ago, you started crying for a bottle after nursing in the mornings before Mommy went to work, and that (combined with the half-ounce pumping sessions) was when Mommy knew it was time to finish weaning you from the breast. You weaned yourself, really — if nothing comes out, you’re not going to stick around just for the comfort-suck. You want food, and if Mommy’s boob won’t provide it, you know the bottle will.

Mommy had planned to pump in the evenings before bed, to get you a full four-ounce bottle to eat one last time, but I think we’re done. Maybe you can eat the last couple of ounces as a snack, or mixed in with some solid food. The nursing bras are already in a bag to be donated to Goodwill, and there’s something wrong with the AC adapter on the breast pump, anyway. It’s just so sad to bid this part of our relationship goodbye.

Got my boy to eat his peas! Parenting win!But as one phase ends, another begins: you’re getting used to eating purees and mushy foods for dinner. Sometimes Mommy is lazy and doesn’t feed you your solid dinner, but she’s getting better with it. And so are you! You’re learning how to eat the food off of the spoon without Mommy having to cajole you into opening your mouth, then pretty much wiping the food off onto your palate. No, now you open your mouth like a little baby bird, and sometimes you even close your mouth a little too soon, because you’re so excited to get the food in.

This month, you’ve tried green beans, peas, bananas, sweet potatoes, and avocado. You’re never a fan of the veggies right off the bat, but everything is good when it’s mixed with just a little fruit. Mommy’s still making all your food herself, milling it with the food mill (or, with the banana and avocado, mooshing it with a fork).

In Daddy's La-Z-BoyWe’ve got some acorn and butternut squash hanging out at home, so you might get to try those soon. And chicken! Mommy and Daddy rarely cook meat at home anymore, so we bought some frozen chicken tenders especially for you, although you’re supposed to try a few more fruits and vegetables before we introduce meat.

Between the formula and the solid foods, you’re gaining plenty of weight. At seven months, you weigh 18 pounds even! You’re wearing sleepers in size 9 months, and are quickly outgrowing all your six-month clothes. We’re pulling out all the clothes we’ve been saving for when you get bigger, just to be sure we don’t miss out on the narrow window when you can wear them.

Mommy and Daddy bought you a Jumperoo, and you love it. It’s nice to let you occupy yourself for a few minutes — sometimes for up to an hour! — so we can get some grown-up things done, like cleaning the house. Now, when Mommy stands you up on her lap, you like to jump instead of just standing there.

Jumperoo!

You’re also much more likely to just chill out in your Pack-N-Play for more than five minutes before you get fussy. Now that you can grab stuff that’s around you, and now that you can roll around a bit, you can keep yourself busy for a good fifteen or twenty minutes in the playpen if we need to leave you there.

Having Tummy Time

You’re getting to be a mobile little guy! You roll from your back to your tummy every time we put you on the floor (or in your crib), and you’ve only just figured out how to roll from your tummy onto your back. You used to be super upset about waking up on your belly in the middle of the night, but you don’t seem to mind as much now. In fact, Mommy finds you sleeping on your tummy most of the time now — either that, or on your left side, facing your crib mirror.

Your bedtime routine looks a little something like this:

Side Sleeper5:45pm – Daddy leaves for work. Mommy feeds Mei Kitty.
6:00pm – Mommy puts you on the floor and makes herself dinner during the local news.
6:30pm – Mommy puts you in your Bumbo on the floor and feeds you dinner during the national news.
7:00pm – Chill/play time. Jumperoo or floor time.
7:30pm – Mommy will read you a book and give you one last bottle.
8:00pm – Time to rock Connor until he falls asleep. Sometimes Mommy watches a TV show while she rocks you.
9:00pm – Time to put Connor into his crib for the night.

We still don’t bathe you very often — about once a week, usually on Fridays — but when we do, you’ve been tolerating it a lot better than you used to. You’re usually pretty keen on it until the water starts to get chilly, and then you get upset.

Sometimes you’ll wake up in the middle of the night, especially when Daddy comes home early from work. Mommy needs to make sure you’re fed and changed before she leaves for work in the morning, or you’ll wake Daddy bright and early as soon as Mommy shuts the door behind her. As long as you take a nice, long morning nap, Daddy doesn’t mind too much. If you don’t, though, Daddy goes crazy from sleep deprivation, and that’s not good for anybody. Especially Daddy.

You’ve discovered your feet: they’re fun to grab and fun to gnaw on. In fact, you have a tendency to lean all the way forward and grab them when we’re trying to get you to sit up on your own.

Just in the past week or so, you’ve started mimicking Mommy and Daddy’s noises, which is super cute. One of us will cluck our tongue at you, or blow a raspberry, and you’ll try to do it back. You can usually do it pretty well. If we make a letter noise, though, like da-da-da or ba-ba-ba, you stare at our mouth. Sometimes you’ll try to make the sound back at us, but usually you just laugh at the funny sound.

Sadly, you got to go to your second funeral this month. Your Great-Aunt Elaine passed away after several years with dementia. She hadn’t been well enough to come to holidays in Cleveland for some time, and you never got to meet her. I guess the positive side is that you got to be the happy, smiling baby at the funeral, which always helps people to remember that life goes on.

Aunt Dee with ConnorCousin Nate with ConnorConnor asleep on the way home

As always, there’s so much more I could tell you about this month: you laugh when I sing and sign the ABCs to you, and you love being outside in the sunshine and the breeze, and you’re getting better about going to sleep at night, and you still have a big gummy toothless grin.

You’re growing so fast, and learning so much, that I’m afraid all this will slip by before I know it.

Closeup

Dear Connor: Month Six

Dear Connor,

Happy half-birthday! You’re getting so big and developing into your own person; sometimes it’s hard to believe that you’re the same little squigglebug we brought home from the hospital in the fall.

You’re big enough now that you can wear most of the clothes that have been too big for you until recently: Boba Fett from Uncle Phil, Green Lantern and Star Trek from Fake Aunt Sheryl, plus all kinds of other stuff that Mommy and Daddy picked up at sales and clearances before you were born. Your waist is still super skinny, though, so even though you’re in 6-month onesies, you’re still rocking 3-month pants.

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