Lost Forever

I just spent 20 minutes writing a long, elaborate entry about my own self-worth and my varied interests and so on and so forth.

Then I accidentally closed the wrong tab in my browser before I hit Submit.

Maybe it’s just as well; you didn’t want to hear me ramble on about my inner mental crap, anyway. I’ll just say that I feel like a jack-of-all-trades, and leave it at that. Maybe I’ll be inspired to write about it again some other time.

Willpower

There are many things I should be doing.

But I can’t seem to ignore the siren call of Civ IV.

That ho-smack Isabella is just begging for another ass-whoopin’. That, and I really just want to kick some computer tail. I’m tired of Time Victories and Space Race Victories and Diplomatic Victories. I want a Conquest Victory. I want to win because I’m a bad muthafucka, not just because I can get everybody to vote for me as Class President.

Not gonna happen, but kicking ass (or attempting to kick some ass) is still fun.

Sick

Woke up this morning about the time I should have been pulling out of the driveway. Didn’t remember turning off my alarm. Threw on the clothes I’d already laid out, tossed some food into a brown paper bag because my normal lunch bag had nasty leaky grodiness in it, and headed out the door.

Got to the car, and suddenly felt queasy. Just out of nowhere. Drove to work, got there late, still felt blah. Ate my oatmeal at my desk, tried to ignore the blah.

But it would not be denied.

I had one of those I’m-glad-there’s-a-handicapable-one-stall-potty kind of BMs, took occasional sips of my ever-present water, and tried to get some work done. After a couple of hours, though, I decided that this was dumb, and made arrangements to take half a day off.

Got home around noon-thirty, and confused the shit out of Aaron. Proceeded to take some Theraflu and sleep on the couch all afternoon, waking up for the occasional small meal. Aaron just now left for work, at 5:30. I’m still run down. Not miserable, but tired and still slightly nauseous.

I’m going to continue to chill out on the couch this evening, or maybe play a little Civ IV until I feel the need to lie back down. Watch some DVDs, drink some herbal tea and some water, and take some more Theraflu before bed. Which will undoubtedly be *much* earlier than normal.

So much for getting my podcast out tonight. Ah, well.

Hope For The Future

Aaron and I attended a surprise 30th birthday party for Aaron’s friend Jesse last night. Jesse’s wife Kelly made sure to let us know that it would be a kid-friendly party — and, true to her word, there were about a dozen kids there. Four belonged to Kelly and Jesse, at least one belonged to Jesse’s sister Sandy, I think two belonged to Jesse’s friend Eric, and Kris Fries brought Sam. Lots of kids, at any rate.

I wasn’t sure how I would deal with being in a kid-filled environment. I mean, it’s been years since I babysat, and I don’t regularly find myself amongst kids in my daily life. Truth be told, though, I kind of liked it. Jesse’s stepdaughter asked me to dish her up some sweet potatoes, one of his younger two (I forget if it was Olivia or Jessica) showed me her boo-boo, and I got hugs and kisses from Jessica, the youngest, before we left.

Having so many kids in a relatively small space made for a very festive atmosphere. The inevitable balloon games were underway — “Don’t let it touch the ground!” — and the adults were talking about various subjects, like concerts we attended in the 90’s, and weird stuff that happens at work, and geeky gamer stuff like Warhammer and Magic the Gathering. There was tons of food, like Jed’s wings and potato salad and sweet potatoes and deviled eggs and green bean casserole, but obviously no alcohol.

And I had a really freaking good time.

This gives me hope for the future. Maybe, once we have kids, we’ll still be able to have fun. Maybe we won’t be stuck in the house all the time, watching Junior. Maybe we can get together with other people with kids and let them watch themselves for a while, intervening when we hear a loud noise or when our spidey sense is tingling.

Yeah… it might not be too bad.

Adult Content

This entry is about porn. If you are under 18, are squeamish about the general idea of porn (or, more specifically, about the idea of me looking at porn), or if you are my mother, you probably shouldn’t read this.

There are no pictures, although there is some strong language and explicit discussion of kinds of pornographic subjects. Probably worksafe as long as no one is reading over your shoulder.

Interested parties, read on.

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