It’s Hard To Soar Like An Eagle…

…When You Work With A Bunch Of Turkeys.

Sometimes I really wish I could blog about work. Sometimes I think I could write my entries in such a way that no one would be the wiser; I could hide the identities of my co-workers to protect the innocent and the stupid. But then it occurs to me that, no matter how I were to mask the true identities of these people about whom rumors fly, or about whose orientation I’m unsure, or whose personal habits and idiosyncrasies perplex me… if they happened upon my site, they would undoubtedly realize I’d been blogging about them.

Telling my husband or my friends about my co-workers is one thing; they don’t know any of these people, will never see them, and likely may never even meet them. But postings on the internet have a way of getting back to people, and I’m not prepared to get Dooced just to share my confusion about the girl who always runs across the parking lot after work, or gossip about a former temp, or show pity for a given co-worker’s physical challenges, or describe exactly how easy it would be for a bank employee to be generally scandalous, or what-have-you.

And that’s really too bad. There’s some weird shit that goes on here sometimes.

Four-Day Weekend

So, according to our boss, we can take our sick/personal days off as “mental health days” if we so choose.

Today, however, I called off for a “menstrual health day.”

OMG. I’ve never had to call off work because of cramps before. When I woke up at 7am this morning, I’d slept for maybe three or four hours, thanks to wracking fists of death in my girlie parts. I was exhausted and still in pain and ended up leaving a voicemail for my boss saying I wouldn’t be in today.

I then proceeded to sleep off and on until 1:00pm. Took some Midol, ate some lunch. I feel *much* better now.

So, I didn’t diabolically plan to have a four-day weekend… but I’ve got one now. w00t?

Perks

It?s nice working at the bank sometimes. When I get bored or distracted (and don?t want to go on the intarweb for fear of getting fired for unauthorized internet usage), I can open up my checking account and see all the checks that have cleared today. For instance, I know that my candle supply order should be filled soon, because my PayPal payment went through today. I can also tell that Snapfish tends to process my film and upload it before they even cash my check. My incessant peeking at my account also helps remind me to write all my debits in my checkbook.

So, I guess this job?s good for something besides semi-annual incentive pay and free premier checking.

Stating The Obvious

I’ve been saving this gem in My Documents folder at work for a year and a half now, just because it was amusing to me. Finally, as I was looking through my files today while work was slow, I decided to zip this and send it to myself at home so I could post it:

  

Hopefully I’m not violating some sort of confidentiality something-or-other by posting a screenshot of our intranet. I just thought the main story title was amusingly ironic. Don’tcha think?