dianaschnuth

I’ve been trying to make a concerted effort to post a “real” blog entry daily, especially since I have my Twitter feeding into my blog. I feel kind of contentless if I let my blog fill up with Twitter Updates, with no actual entries to break them up.

When I really don’t feel like writing, or don’t have a topic that inspires me, my M.O. lately has been to search my Flickr for an interesting photo to post. Tonight, I thought it would be fun to find some good times in high school and post those. Funny thing is, I haven’t scanned in many pics from those years. So, I got to looking in the years before and after high school, instead, and found that I had mixed feelings about seeing a lot of those images. That surprised me.

I look at photos of me (rare though they are) in late elementary school and into junior high, and I just feel such pity for that frumpy and awkward girl. Then I look at photos of me in late college and just after college, and I can’t believe that I didn’t take my health into my own hands. I looked awful, and I hadn’t realized at the time that I felt awful.

I guess I’ve always felt awkward, in one way or another, and seeing these pictures and being somewhat divorced over time from the situations they portray… I don’t know. I guess it reminds me that I just never really felt like I fit, socially. That’s why I was (and am) such close friends with select people; they’re the people who neutralize the awkward. They make me forget to feel uncomfortable about all the superficial things that I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable about, anyway.

Maybe one of these days, I’ll scan and post all the painfully awkward photos of myself I can find. It’ll be cathartic or something. 😀