the ongoing saga of my job 1 Comment

Rambly Job Rant

The story thus far: James and I have been developing and administering Access databases for Loan Servicing for about six months now. Over a month ago, we had thought our “promotion” was finalized — a step up from Associate Operations II to Senior Operations Associate, with a very slim chance of a pay increase. Still nothing.

Tomorrow, Loan Corrections is having a pizza party / potluck for three members of our department who are moving to different jobs. After already having one person move to Cleveland and having one currently on maternity leave, this shorts our manpower by an insane amount. So, James and I have been instructed by management to take on normal Loan Corrections tasks effective Monday and continuing through September, until the department is fully staffed again. We’re literally in the middle of implementing one department’s database, and are having to leave it half-finished as we go back to completing loan changes and double-checking others’ work for four weeks.

We’re willing to Take One For The Team. We can’t say we’re happy about it, but we’ll do it.

We’ve made it clear to our new supervisor that we want to stay with Sky long-term, but that we currently feel as if management is coming close to taking undue advantage of our “value-added” to the department. I can appreciate management wanting to use the resources at their disposal (namely, James and myself), but there comes a point when using becomes USING. According to my online research, as a database admin — or even as an entry-level programmer — I should be making literally TWICE the amount I currently pull in. At least.

James needs the cash more than I do. I don’t really need the cash. We’re not hurting for money, although it can never hurt to save for future expenses (mainly kid-related… or travel-related). And I’m sure that, once we have kids, our expenses will skyrocket OMG.

I’m kind of torn about how I feel about getting slighted on this. I mean, I enjoy what I’m doing. I’m getting awesome experience. I’m using my brain. I’m applying my new coding knowledge to other aspects of my life, like the Lakeshoremen website. But…

I don’t know what it is that would make me satisfied. I’m getting to do what I want, for the most part. Now I want to get paid properly for what I do. Once I get paid more, am I going to think I deserve an actual office (shared with James, of course)? Our own department? A third database helper? And why will I never be satisfied with the fact that I managed to get a decent gig from just coasting along at my stupid bank job and crossing paths with an awesome opportunity, rather than seeking out an opportunity on my own? Is this a problem of self-worth and self-confidence, or just me continually bitching?

Sometimes I think I’m just wired for low self-esteem. I don’t understand why I can’t let myself be a kickass [insert hobby/job here], and just leave it at that.

geekspeak 3 Comments

I Am A Geek.

I just made my own RSS feed for the Lakeshoremen website. Admittedly, not all by myself — with some help from a couple of websites that I’ve bookmarked for future reference. But now I know, and knowing’s half the battle.

Now I just need to see if I can schedule a cron job to output this file every day. Or… I could just have it regenerate every time someone posts a news item. Somebody pin a medal on me — I’m fucking brilliant. ^_^

*squee*

drumcorps 4 Comments

Drum Corps Withdrawal

Some years, I just don’t get “into” corps. I always go to the Toledo show in June — usually the first show of the season for most corps involved — but sometimes, I can’t really get excited about making two-hour drives to see other shows during the summer. This was one of those years.

Tonight, on ESPN2, I watched highlights from the DCI World Championship Finals. I recorded it on the PVR program on Aaron’s computer, and am currently burning it to DVD. In a few more minutes, I will have a DVD of the two-hour program I just watched, complete with chapter stops to skip the commercials. Tomorrow, this DVD may even have a fancy label printed right on the disc, if I get around to designing one.

Some years, I get “into” corps right about the time the highlights are broadcast on ESPN2 or PBS or whatever medium they’re in. I’m not sure if this is one of those years or not.

We’ll see tomorrow, after I listen to the On The 50 podcast that’s been sitting neglected on my iPod for weeks. If I bring my old DCI tapes downstairs and start digitizing them and burning them to DVD, that’s a sign.

weight loss

Diet & Fitness Update, Week Ending 9/2/06

I didn’t write a diet update last week, mainly because I gained a pound and a half from that damn Chinese buffet right before I wrote my last update, and didn’t manage to lose it right away. In fact, I was solidly stuck at 206.5 for… *checking Excel chart* …exactly a week. Then I dropped half a pound and stayed at 206 even until this morning, when I dropped another half pound. My official week-ending weight is 206, though.

Someday I’ll reach my five-pound mini-goal, and I’ll get to buy myself some new autumn clothes. *sigh* It bothers me that I still fit into last year’s new autumn clothes, though. I’d planned on being so much less fat by now. At least I’m not more fat, I guess.

I’ve been better at doing cardio for these past two weeks, although I’m still doing much less than I should. The Kickboxing I workout from PUSH is excellent, focusing on proper form and working up through the 30-minute workout to a final sequence of moves. I also enjoy the trainer’s positive attitude, which is pleasant and upbeat without making me want to strangle myself.

I’ve also been doing much better on weekends. Usually, I gain anywhere between half a pound and a pound and a half over a weekend. For the past two weekends, I’ve stayed completely steady after the weekend, and I attribute that to being more reasonable at restaurants. We’ve stayed away from my mortal weight-loss enemy, the Happy Rose Buffet, and I’ve employed lots of standard diet tactics, like putting half of an entree into a to-go container right off the bat or ordering from the appetizer section of the menu.

For this week, I’m planning to add another day of exercise to the fray. For the last two weeks, I’ve been doing kickboxing one day of the week, and that’s it. Not including my daily walk, of course. I’m planning to add a day of PUSH strength training back into the mix, and hopefully build up to where I should be. I also need to suspend my PUSH account temporarily, because I’m nearly three months behind on my DVDs.

It’s frustrating to be losing so slowly, but I *am* losing. I’ve learned my lesson about bingeing on weekends, and I know that continued exercise will help me keep losing weight. I may not reach the weight goal I wanted to reach by Thanksgiving, but I’ll keep going, anyway.

randomness

Tired and Disjointed

I hate it when I get to this slightly tired state, where my brain is getting a little disjointed and my body is starting to shut down, but my creativity is begging me to DO SOMETHING. If I were to start something now, though, I’d get sidetracked or frustrated that it wasn’t turning out right. I have a list so long that I could choose from, though.

This is usually the same mood where I see all the things I didn’t do today, either on web pages or around the house, and get frustrated because my brain wants them to just — poof — be done. My body, however, would much rather slouch in my desk chair or stretch out on the couch and read a book or play solitaire or watch cable.

Meanwhile, the part of my brain that never grew up and is never actually awake until 10am says, “Dude. 9:45pm is NOT late enough for you to be this tired.”

P.S. – Along with the whole sidetracked and disjointed brain concept, let me just mention this (which I probably shouldn’t, but I will anyway): If you’re ever going to be out of social situations for a day or an evening, be a little daring. Give your pits a rest, and don’t wear deodorant. I got a rash under one armpit, and am going deodorantless while it heals, and it’s actually quite liberating. Sure, I still washed, and I put baby powder under my one pit… but by this evening, I started experiencing my own natural odor for the first time in years.

Honestly… without anyone to make fun of me about the odor (a la middle school), it’s really not that unpleasant. Still, I’m looking forward to receiving my Kiss My Face natural deodorant on Tuesday.