family 1 Comment

Sucked In

I can’t stop reading this diary.

I don’t want to go make my lunch. I don’t want to watch TV. I don’t want to exercise. I just want to keep reading.

It’s not even about me anymore — at this point in the diary, Memaw and I (except Mom called her Grannie then) have flown to Florida to stay with Granny and Charlie for a while, and Mom is hanging around Medina, staying with friends until the paternity suit against my father.

That was my first plane ride, and was my only plane ride until a few years back, when I went with Mom and Gary and Philip to visit Gary’s family in Fort Worth.

I love taking these one-page synopses of Mom’s days and trying to imagine what her life was really like. Moving out of the apartment to a couple other friends’ places. Missing me so much. Trying to get a job. Trying to “get her head on straight.”

We’ve both come so far.

I love you, Mom.

family

Every Little Freaking Detail?

Are you tired of it yet?

I blew one of my weekly goals tonight: I didn’t do my PUSH workout. Note to self: six almonds is not a sufficient evening snack if I intend to snack at 4:30pm and eat dinner at 7:30pm. So I ended up coming home and making dinner before my workout… which meant I never got around to the workout. No biggie. It’s a learning process. I’m still going to exercise tomorrow and Friday; I’m not going to blow off the rest of the week just because of one off day.

Made it to work on time again today. Almost didn’t — clocked in at 8:05am — because I had a minor emergency with my new seedlings. Had to flip them around close to the window because their grow light went out, and had to water them because I removed their cover, so they lost their little greenhouse effect. But I digress.

I’ve been doing pretty well with not adding extra snackies into my day, and sticking to my prescribed menu. Today I substituted spinach for the salad I’d scheduled for myself — mainly because I didn’t want leftover spinach sitting in the fridge, and I know Aaron won’t eat it. He hates spinach.

A lot of my evenings lately have been spent reading Mom’s journal (ostensibly my “baby diary”, but also Mom’s “I’m lonely and want a man” diary, too). At age 22, she had all the guys looking, even with a baby at home. I don’t want to air Mom’s 30-year-old dirty laundry to the entire world, but suffice to say that it seems she was always lonely, but rarely really alone.

As a parallel: when I was 19, there was one semester when I went out with five different guys. That’s the closest I can come to understanding what my mom went through in the late 70s. I really feel for her, as she was back then.

If I write any more on this, I may as well just write Mom’s memoirs myself and post them to the internet. So I’ll shut up now. 🙂

Truth be told, I’m going to be disappointed when I get to the end of this diary. I’ll be jonesing for Volume II. Guess I’ll have to get Mom to sit down and actually write me some memoirs… although I promise not to post them to the internet.

drumcorps

Twilight Sheen

I ended up taking a brisk walk around the neighborhood this evening, just before dusk. I’d strapped on my iPod, and the first podcast I queued up was On The 50 (a weekly podcast of drum corps opinion), and I’m sure that affected my mood on some level.

As I finished my first lap around the neighborhood, I’d also finished the podcast. The sky was that particular shade of blue that means the sun has set, and that it’s going to be very dark in about five minutes. The stars had begun to come out, and a light breeze was cooling the sheen of sweat I’d managed to accumulate. Circles of light pooled under the streetlamps, spilling over curbs onto the street.

I queued up another podcast as I started my second lap, but my brain was still focused on a memory. Drum corps in the mid 90’s.
Continue reading →

health & fitness 3 Comments

Standing My Ground

Doing well on the punctuality thing. Clocked in at 8:01 yesterday and 8am today. Even confused myself by getting to the front doors before 8am and having to swipe my card to get in. o_O

Doing well on the menu thing. Had to substitute turkey for ham in this morning’s muffin, but that was probably for the best.

Almost not doing well on the evening exercise. I need to do cardio today, not just a pleasant walk around the ‘hood, but I’m uncomfortably hot and sticky. I’m tossing around the idea of playing DDR in nonstop mode, or doing my Yoga For Dummies DVD (I know, that’s not cardio), or maybe even checking out the cardio track on my current PUSH DVD. I just can’t get excited about driving to Wildwood and taking a jog. I’ll do *something*, though.

I won’t even be hungry for another hour and a half, probably. My afternoon protein shake ended up being the shake that eats like a meal. In the future, I need to actually stick to the recipe.

health & fitness 2 Comments

Something’s Not Right Here

I just spent 45 minutes preparing breakfast, lunch, and two snackies for tomorrow. All that food totally fills up my lunch koozie.

It just doesn’t seem right that:
a.) I spend more time thinking about food when I’m trying to lose weight; and
b.) I eat *more* food when I eat healthier than when I just eat.

Holy crap, that’s a lotta food. I think I’m gonna go do a calorie tally on what I ate today, to make sure I’m not off-base.