dianaschnuth

I had an epiphany early this month, after I realized that the date I chose as my Goal Weight Target Date is actually visible on my new 16-week weight plot. You know, the weight graph that I post up on my cube wall at work, right beside my monitor, where I can see it every day. The one that had been showing weeks of tiny gains interspersed with a few losses.

My weight loss journey has been a lot like my undergraduate career was: full of detours and trip-ups and lack of attention to the end goal. Floating through, enjoying the moment (or not), and not buckling down, not realizing until nearing the end that things would have gone so much better had I been more focused all along.

Evenings have been feeling like those late college nights used to — those nights where I’d stay up until 3am when I knew I really shouldn’t, then oversleep through all my morning classes. Nowadays, I find myself digging in the fridge or pantry after dinner, knowing I’ve eaten all I should eat for the day, knowing I’m not truly hungry, and not caring.

Do I want to be on this journey for the rest of my life? Or do I want to reach the number on the scale already, so I can move on to other things, like maybe some body recomposition work? (Note to self: You don’t have to wait until you reach your Goal Weight to start on that. How’s about inserting some resistance training into your fitness routine NOW?)

It’s reachable. I applied myself during the last week of September and lost over two pounds in one week (my official Weight Watchers weigh-in called it 2.4), which is much more than my typical loss of 0.6 pounds. If I’d reined myself in over the weekend, I would have lost even more, but I’m still pleased with my progress. If I continue on this path, I’ll reach my Goal Weight well within my target date.

And I have every intention of doing so.

Some people have graduated past a need for the number on the scale. Some people are OK with feeling fit, fitting into a certain size, living a fit and active lifestyle. Right now, I still need the number. Once I’m comfortable with the number, once I’ve achieved the goal I’ve set out to accomplish, then I’ll pick a new goal.

There is no After. Only what’s next.

NSVs:

• Went down a band size in bras (36 to 34) and a pant size in bootcut dress pants (14 to 12 — In straight-leg pants, though, I’m still a 14).
• A co-worker told me (again) that every time she sees me, I keep looking thinner and thinner.
• Resisted free donuts at work! Twice!
• Got a wrap from the cafeteria, decided it wasn’t delicious, and threw away half of it.
• Went back on a Monday and tracked Saturday’s date night dinner plus all of Sunday.