Today was my triumphant return to kickboxing class! I nearly overheated, but dialed back the intensity when I had to. Feels good to be active again.
Category Archives: health & fitness
A narrative of my journeys with diet, exercise, and various healthcare professionals
Getting My Feet Under Me
Lately, I’ve been taking one lunch hour per week at The Bux next door, toting my Bluetooth keyboard with me to write. I didn’t really feel like coffee today, though, so today I’m sitting in the 6th floor cafeteria in my office building, trying super hard to ignore the conversations around me.
Yesterday morning, I took a pretty good spill downtown while crossing the street. I thought I was fine at the time — honestly, I still think I’m mostly fine — but I do have some aches and stiffness that I might not have gotten from a fall like that when I was younger. I took some strongish drugs for the aches, and I’m still wearing the anti-nausea patch I put on last night. (I’ll keep it on until I reach the three-day mark or it starts to dilate my eyes, whichever comes first.)
I kinda feel like that overall. I need to get my feet back under me and move forward. I have lots of outstanding, almost-done projects at work; my personal clutter is strewn all over the house; my clothes don’t fit right anymore; and my throat and eyes have that dry, scratchy, I’m Getting Sick kind of feeling. I can’t really focus on just one thing and fix it — I have to continue my triage and keep chipping away at things.
It probably doesn’t help that I’m also behind on my self-imposed January deadlines: posting my 2018 Year In Review, posting a roll of photos to my blog, and sewing a piece of clothing from a commercial pattern. I’ve gotten some things done, like creating a 2019 calendar, making a present for Connor’s friend, Harper, and tracking all of my meals in WW eTools. January is not a total wash by any means.
I really just feel tired, which manifests as feeling depressed and unmotivated. If I can turn things around and get my head in the right place, my brain meds can help me from continuing the spiral.
I’ll bet I can get myself out of this thing if I just focus on getting to bed earlier and being just a little more active every day. That, plus distracting myself from after-dinner snacking, which has been A Major Thing this week. Maybe I can do some meditation during my usual snack time.
I’ve got this. No worries.
Life Doesn’t Suck, But Hormones Do
Seriously. The logical part of my brain is clearly indicating that my inability to get to sleep lately, combined with the time of month, is making everything seem epic and insurmountable.
Meanwhile, my amygdala is all, “Screw It.”
Nothing is horrible. Things are generally cool. We booked our vacation recently, which has me pretty excited (except for that whole two-piece swimsuit thing, which I am so not in the right mindset for right now). I’m back on the WW wagon, tracking what I eat and exercising when I can. My son is taking karate and seems to be really enjoying it.
But all the little shit is just piling on, bit by bit.
Back On The Wagon Again
My final weigh-in of 2018 looked a little something like this:
My first weigh-in of 2019 was looking kind of bleak after me making the decision not to track between Christmas and New Year’s. I had one week to lose the two pounds I managed to pack on during my post-surgery inactivity and holiday-season indulgences.
Yeah… it didn’t happen.
On top of that, I managed to reach a new “Oh, shit” weight in the week after that, despite a return to tracking (most of the time). As it turns out, half-assed tracking is almost worse than not tracking at all, as I gave myself the false security of thinking I hadn’t done THAT bad… except I didn’t track the Marco’s cinnamon buns my son and I devoured on Fun Friday, and I may have only tracked half the pizza I really ate.
Something has to change. I feel uncomfortable in my skin and in my clothes. I don’t like the way I look or feel. It’s in my upper arms, my middle, my neck, my face. I want it GONE. And I have to want it bad enough to make it happen.
I knew this was coming, since I had some forced inactivity during the holiday season due to my surgery at the beginning of December. Still, it was within my power to have dealt with it better.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda, didn’t.
What matters now is what I do next.
I’ve had enough. Future Me deserves better.
Status: Cleared To Work Out
Cardio Drumming was the perfect return to fitness classes. Easy, fun, but my abs still hated me by the end of our end-of-class crunches.