Category Archives: health & fitness

A narrative of my journeys with diet, exercise, and various healthcare professionals

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Overload

It’s not even that things are that bad, or that stressful. Sure, I biffed the garage door last week, necessitating that I use the remainder of my personal time from work — until my work anniversary next month, anyway, when my vacation days renew. As far as work itself goes, it’s a little stressful and scattered right now, and there are a few fires to put out, but it’s not making me dread going to work every day or anything. And, yeah, my at-home to-do list is extra-long, but that’s nothing new.

No, I really just feel… well, I can’t really describe it. Not quite stressed out, and not quite overwhelmed. Not so much a defeatist attitude as the feeling that the treadmill is throwing me off the back. Or, for those of you who (like me) watched American Gladiators in the early ‘90s, like I’m holding steady on the Reverse Treadmill at the beginning of the Eliminator.

eliminator

There are just a bunch of little things that keep piling on and piling on, and I really only have so many hours I can squeeze out of a day — which makes it worse when my mindset isn’t where I’d like it to be and instead of being productive after my son goes to bed, I fall face first into a bag of popcorn and a mini-marathon of Good Eats on Netflix. Or when I waste half an hour figuring out why Google Chrome and Windows 10 don’t seem to play nicely, so I can’t upload a simple image for my blog post without resorting to the new Micro$oft browser, Edge. But anyway.

I’m not going to regurgitate my entire to-do list here, but I have several on-going messes I need to clean up around the house, I have Fall cleanup and planting to tend to in the garden, I have multiple work projects going on at once, and I have a self-imposed deadline of losing 12 pounds in five weeks. Also, thanks to me having to take so much time off in two-hour increments for car maintenance, haircuts, and Connor’s doctor appointments, I am all out of time off of work. (Except actual sick time. I can still get sick.)

If I want to get things done, I need to prioritize and be OK with some things at the bottom of the list not getting done until later — or not at all. It’s a matter of consequences, really. Therein lies the problem: lots of things in my queue have been deprioritized multiple times. I know I would feel happier with a clean home office, a clean closet, family photos framed and hung on the walls, Connor’s notable art projects from school either scanned or framed or put into an album. But it all takes a back seat to the more visible or time-sensitive tasks: gardening, daily household chores, child rearing. And sleep. I need to get to sleep earlier if I want to sleep better.

I’m stuck in the same damn spot on that reverse treadmill. I need a boost — or a new strategy — to get some actual momentum.

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September Weigh-In

I had an epiphany early this month, after I realized that the date I chose as my Goal Weight Target Date is actually visible on my new 16-week weight plot. You know, the weight graph that I post up on my cube wall at work, right beside my monitor, where I can see it every day. The one that had been showing weeks of tiny gains interspersed with a few losses.

My weight loss journey has been a lot like my undergraduate career was: full of detours and trip-ups and lack of attention to the end goal. Floating through, enjoying the moment (or not), and not buckling down, not realizing until nearing the end that things would have gone so much better had I been more focused all along.

Evenings have been feeling like those late college nights used to — those nights where I’d stay up until 3am when I knew I really shouldn’t, then oversleep through all my morning classes. Nowadays, I find myself digging in the fridge or pantry after dinner, knowing I’ve eaten all I should eat for the day, knowing I’m not truly hungry, and not caring.

Do I want to be on this journey for the rest of my life? Or do I want to reach the number on the scale already, so I can move on to other things, like maybe some body recomposition work? (Note to self: You don’t have to wait until you reach your Goal Weight to start on that. How’s about inserting some resistance training into your fitness routine NOW?)

It’s reachable. I applied myself during the last week of September and lost over two pounds in one week (my official Weight Watchers weigh-in called it 2.4), which is much more than my typical loss of 0.6 pounds. If I’d reined myself in over the weekend, I would have lost even more, but I’m still pleased with my progress. If I continue on this path, I’ll reach my Goal Weight well within my target date.

And I have every intention of doing so.

Some people have graduated past a need for the number on the scale. Some people are OK with feeling fit, fitting into a certain size, living a fit and active lifestyle. Right now, I still need the number. Once I’m comfortable with the number, once I’ve achieved the goal I’ve set out to accomplish, then I’ll pick a new goal.

There is no After. Only what’s next.

NSVs:

  • Went down a band size in bras (36 to 34) and a pant size in bootcut dress pants (14 to 12 — In straight-leg pants, though, I’m still a 14).
  • A co-worker told me (again) that every time she sees me, I keep looking thinner and thinner.
  • Resisted free donuts at work! Twice!
  • Got a wrap from the cafeteria, decided it wasn’t delicious, and threw away half of it.
  • Went back on a Monday and tracked Saturday’s date night dinner plus all of Sunday.
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What’s My Goal?

WhatsMyGoal

This week’s Weight Watchers Weekly was focused on setting a weight goal for yourself, as opposed to checking a BMI chart and picking a “normal” weight that seems completely unattainable.

Back when I started WW seven years and 40 pounds ago, I checked the BMI chart and saw that 173 was the upper end of my “healthy” weight range. That’s what I weighed in middle school; that’s what I weigh now, finally, at age 39. At the time when I chose 170 for my Goal, though, I didn’t know what I would look like at that weight, or even if I would be capable of reaching that weight.

Before and Today

But I decided I’m not done yet. I still have at least 10 pounds to go — and then we’ll see how I feel when I get there, and reassess.
Continue reading →

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Operation Braceface: Day 1023

Officially sick of the braces.

Braces Day 1023

Last week’s adjustment was quick and painless — just switching out the chains on the bottom, and instructing me to wear medium triangle elastics again.

But, surprise of surprises (note sarcasm), Dr. M. exclaimed, “Why aren’t these gaps closing? Did they close at all?” I assured her that, yes, my teeth had definitely moved. (The sharp archwire that had been poking me in the cheek was evidence of that, as was my sore mouth after the last adjustment.)

She said that next time, in addition to them checking my bite, I’ll get a 2-to-2 chain under the archwire, and a 6-to-6 over the wire (which is where I’ve been chained exclusively up until now). Apparently, putting chains under the wire is supposed to have a more pronounced effect on moving the teeth.

So, that next adjustment is going to hurt like a bitch.

I’m fine with that, though, if it means that we’ll start to get things wrapping up already. Tying in my molars so near the end really threw everything for a loop.

Still worth it, though. Definitely worth it.

But I’m ready for it to be done.

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August Weigh-In

To try to break out of my months-long plateau, I decided to post a daily photo journal of my meals for a week. I figured it would give me some additional accountability, since I’d been falling into the trap of If No One Sees Me, I Didn’t Really Eat It. (Which, yes, is ridiculous. The scale doesn’t lie. I’m not fooling anyone, including myself.)

tuesday's food journal

What I discovered as I photographed everything I ate or drank (besides water) was that, in addition to increasing my accountability — I did skip a few snacks so I wouldn’t have to photograph them and admit my snackiness — it also increased my mindfulness in eating. When I had to properly arrange my food, make it photogenic, it engendered a purposefulness in eating that I hadn’t experienced for a long time. Less standing at the refrigerator door with the can of gulab jamun and a spoon, or digging into a can of my son’s Chef Boyardee, and more meticulous crafting of delicious and nutritious meals and snacks.  Continue reading →