Hitting A Wall

I woke up this morning and just couldn’t bring myself to go to work. It’s not that I hate my job or anything, because I don’t. (Granted, I don’t particularly enjoy it, either.) But I was exhausted and felt like I’d hit some sort of wall.

So, I took a mental health day.

If anyone asks, though, it was a mental health / catching-up day. Which is true: I worked on my website redesign and helped Aaron with the broken washing machine. And caught up on sleep.

During Amy’s visit and our marathon Grounds For Thought session, we decided that I should look for some graphic design classes to take, and maybe get a certificate or an Associates Degree. That way, I’d feel better about my skills and I’d be more confident when applying for jobs. After looking at my choices, though, I can’t really justify paying hundreds if not thousands of dollars to re-learn what I already know.

I found a web / graphic designer posting in Sunday’s Blade, so I sent my resume and portfolio to the e-mail address they gave. Today I got a reply: “This message is to confirm receipt of your email submission, dated 4/26/05.” This does not imbue me with confidence. Also, the scant research I did on the company confuses me, as their website appears to be currently nonexistent, with the domain name being registered by an individual in Seattle. o.O

Anyway, Aaron agreed that taking classes is a good idea, but that maybe I should go for something I *don’t* already know. Like Computer Science. If I knew .NET, or at least ASP and C++ and stuff like that, I’d be much more marketable. Truth be told, I do enjoy what programming I know, so it’s not like I’d be learning skills to get into a job I would hate. I don’t think.

So, yeah. Now that I have my sights set on the horizon yet again, going back to work at my lame bank job seems… lame. But whatcha gonna do? *shrug*

Update: Thread (formerly ImageSource) still has that job posting that I tried for a few months ago. I feel qualified, but at the same time, I feel like it’s just beyond my grasp. I want to cry. THIS is why I don’t get all in job-hunting mode very often.

Shitty Mood

OMG, I am in such a shitty mood this morning. I only got six hours of sleep last night, thanks to staying up waaaay too late to work on my Totoro hat. My alarm woke me out of a *very* sound sleep this morning, which never does good things for my mood, anyway. I hit snooze, and I swear it went off two minutes later instead of nine. 😛 Then, Mei decided it was time to bang the kitchen cupboards for a while, at which point I got up, threatened the cat with a swift kick in her general direction, and did my morning thing.

Managed to leave the house early, per last night?s suggestion from Stan Stachak, and got to work at five till eight, which was good (compared with my usual 8:03am). The snow wasn?t all that bad this morning—only a dusting, instead of the 1-3″ we were supposed to get overnight. It?s really coming down now, though, and that three inches is supposed to accumulate by the time I leave work today. (Also not improving my mood.) Oh, and I managed to leave my gloves and scarf at home, which added to my joy as I walked in to work from the back parking lot, and even as I contemplate going back out to the car this evening after work.

Add on top of that a couple stupid misunderstandings at work (in which I was right, of course, and was actually acknowledged as such in the end), and I?m just uber-grouchy and tired and grrr. I?m not necessarily having a shitty day; I?m just in a shitty mood. And, no, I don?t think caffeine or sugar would help, so I?m not even tempted to go get a Frappuccino for my bunghole.

(BTW, Sheryl—I ended up putting in the Star Trek IV DVD while I fabricated my second Totoro hat last night, complete with subtitled text commentary. w00t!)

It’s Hard To Soar Like An Eagle…

…When You Work With A Bunch Of Turkeys.

Sometimes I really wish I could blog about work. Sometimes I think I could write my entries in such a way that no one would be the wiser; I could hide the identities of my co-workers to protect the innocent and the stupid. But then it occurs to me that, no matter how I were to mask the true identities of these people about whom rumors fly, or about whose orientation I’m unsure, or whose personal habits and idiosyncrasies perplex me… if they happened upon my site, they would undoubtedly realize I’d been blogging about them.

Telling my husband or my friends about my co-workers is one thing; they don’t know any of these people, will never see them, and likely may never even meet them. But postings on the internet have a way of getting back to people, and I’m not prepared to get Dooced just to share my confusion about the girl who always runs across the parking lot after work, or gossip about a former temp, or show pity for a given co-worker’s physical challenges, or describe exactly how easy it would be for a bank employee to be generally scandalous, or what-have-you.

And that’s really too bad. There’s some weird shit that goes on here sometimes.

Four-Day Weekend

So, according to our boss, we can take our sick/personal days off as “mental health days” if we so choose.

Today, however, I called off for a “menstrual health day.”

OMG. I’ve never had to call off work because of cramps before. When I woke up at 7am this morning, I’d slept for maybe three or four hours, thanks to wracking fists of death in my girlie parts. I was exhausted and still in pain and ended up leaving a voicemail for my boss saying I wouldn’t be in today.

I then proceeded to sleep off and on until 1:00pm. Took some Midol, ate some lunch. I feel *much* better now.

So, I didn’t diabolically plan to have a four-day weekend… but I’ve got one now. w00t?