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If I lived in England, or if they took submissions from the States, I’d so be there. As it is, maybe I’ll use this challenge as inspiration to actually use some of that Super 8 film I have in the freezer.
An Open Letter to Joseph, Whom I Met While Walking
Dear Joseph,
After having had some time to consider our random encounter this afternoon, I feel compelled to let you know that I’ll be standing you up on your fifty-second birthday (April 11). I will also make a point of staying away from the meeting spot you designated when my birthday rolls around (April 22). Please allow me to explain why.
Firstly: starting a conversation with, “You’re a pretty girl…” is generally considered creepy by girls everywhere, pretty or no. However, I was willing to engage in conversation with you simply because I’m not good at being rude and ignoring people. Plus, after your comment about how you’d like to grow your hair long like mine and bleach it blond, I thought our conversation would be harmless, brief, and amusing.
Secondly: handshakes are acceptable, even impressive. But please let go after said handshake. Talking at length whilst still holding the hand, then pulling the handshakee into a hug is generally considered improper when both parties are complete strangers. Above all, attempting to kiss a complete stranger on the mouth is highly improper, and attempting to tongue-kiss a stranger after she pushes away from your on-the-mouth kiss is grounds for a knee in the crotch. You should consider yourself ultimately lucky that all I did was give an emphatic “no” and push away.
Thirdly: Smelling like beer is not a good way to get to know a professional who happens to be on her lunch break, even if she has admitted to you that she likes to drink on occasion.
Fourthly: Declaring that you need a girlfriend and then asking your new acquaintance if she is single is not a particularly suave move. Upon her assertion that she is in fact NOT single, it is equally unsuave to answer that your new acquaintance’s significant other “doesn’t need to know.”
So, Joseph, I do apologize if I led you on, but I won’t be meeting you for either of our birthdays. In fact, I will likely take an alternate walking route on both of those days. If you ever attempt to touch me again, please be forewarned that I’ve promised my husband that I’ll call the cops on you.
Best of luck to you, and I hope your Mom and her new boyfriend are doing well.
Most Sincerely,
Diana (the girl with the long hair and the knit kitty hat)
Happy St. Patrick’s Day
I’m always so bummed when I forget to wear my seasonal accoutrements on the one day in the year when they’re appropriate. My Mom had this pin back in the ’80s (and probably earlier), and I managed to appropriate it for my own sometime around high school, and not lose it in all this time.
Truth is, I don’t have any solid proof that I’m Irish. Family lore says I am, and the McLaughlin surname that entered into my lineage around 1844 is the most likely source. Other McLaughlins have done more thorough research than I, and have postulated that this McLaughlin line does indeed trace back to Northern Ireland, and that they came to the New World in the 1730s or ’40s.
Hence, since I could be an entire one-hundredth of a percent Irish, being that my 8x-Great Grandfather was most likely Irish, I felt OK not wearing green today to make myself “more Irish.” (Although, since Wikipedia doesn’t mention anything about this aspect of “the wearing of the green,” I’m now more dubious about whether that’s really why people wear green on St. Paddy’s Day.)
Jill Bolte Taylor: My stroke of insight
Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: One morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke. As it happened — as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding — she studied and remembered every moment. This is a powerful story about how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another.
This is a fascinating and powerful talk. I will warn my normal readership that the content drifts from the interestingly scientific into what some would call… well, I’m not sure what some might call it, but if you don’t consider yourself a spiritual person, you may scoff at Dr. Taylor’s interpretation of her experience.
Still, if I had felt I had achieved Nirvana and lived to tell the tale, I would probably share it in quite the same way.
TED releases this video under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No-Derivatives License. Please download and share this video freely in its entirety.
Take Your Place In The Circle Of Care
Just got done with my day and a half of corporate training: the Circle of Care. I could tell you all about it, but then I’d have to kill you, being that all my supplementary books and materials clearly state that the contents thereof are property of my employer, et cetera.
Instead, I’ll give you a brief synopsis, which is all you really wanted, anyway:
- Videos. Well-produced videos, at least. The characters in the vignettes remained constant throughout the various exercises (calming an upset customer, apologizing, et al.), and the scripts were written and executed well enough that we actually felt emotionally vested in the characters therein. When the clip about Saying Goodbye came up (we do have hospices in our business line), I was one of a few people in the room who got a little misty, but didn’t want to admit it.
- Singing and dancing. Seriously. I have a DVD with the music videos for the Original Version, Ballad, Pop, and Dance Mixes (of the Circle of Care song, that is). We were encouraged to sing along, and we danced in the center of the room — usually to the Dance version. Luckily, one of the more outgoing fellows that was in my Orientation group four months ago was also in my Circle of Care sessions, and he did the awesomest college-guy dances EVAR.
- People Skills Review. Actually, some was review, and some was new ways of looking at the situations, and new acronyms to apply. I think we all know that, in order to sufficiently answer and soothe a seriously annoyed customer, you need to be calm yourself, and determine the problem, and paraphrase, and reassure, and all that sort of thing. I just got more and different ways to do that in this program.
- Holy crap, there’s a lot of people from Sky at my work! There were two in my training group these past two days, and we discussed others, and I went to lunch with a couple of them. I also learned some awesomely juicy news about the Huntington post-merger period.
And that’s about all I’ve got for now. Except a bunch of booklets, two DVDs, a new mug, a teddy bear, a certificate of completion, a couple of new friends, a funky hat, a clown nose, and a new appreciation for my IT skills as a bringer of a more substantial salary than before.
Edit: The Hugging. OMG, how could I leave out the hugging? I may possibly have hugged more people today than I did at my own wedding. We learned all about different kinds of hugs, and I am now officially “Licensed to Hug.”
Yup.