randomness 1 Comment

Shopping Spree

Yesterday, Aaron and I went down to the local GameStop so he could pick up some used video games during their buy-2-get-1-free sale. While we were in the strip mall, we just so happened to notice that there was a clothing store next door for sizes 14 and up. Not sure how I missed that, after living in the area for almost four years, but there it was.

Since I had been saying I needed more business casual attire, and since I’d gone into the game store with Aaron, he convinced me to go into the plus size clothing store and get myself some work clothes.


Aaron actually found the stretchy black button-down shirt, and I think he saw the cable sweater first, too. I know he pointed out the red pullover (which is a darker red IRL). I wasn’t sure about the wraparound shirt, but it actually slims me quite a bit.

In addition to the four shirts, I got two microfiber underwire bras and one wireless bra. Thanks to my interest in this sports bra (before I realized it was a $65 sports bra), I’d recently re-measured myself to determine my correct bra size, which is actually an odd and difficult-to-find combination of band and cup sizes. Avenue had it, though, no problem.

I ended up spending nearly $200 on four shirts and three bras. Really, though, in the grand scheme of women’s clothes, and especially plus sizes, that’s not too bad. And now I have some classier business casual that isn’t looking like it’s past its prime.

Next time, though, I’ll have to get some pants.

randomness 1 Comment

Giving Thanks

I am thankful for my new job, which is helping me grow both personally and professionally.
I am thankful for my loving husband, who supports me in everything I do.
I am thankful for my house, in which I feel safe and at home.
I am thankful for our two cars, which help us get to work and other places.
I am thankful for my health, without which life would be a lot more stressful and uncertain.
I am thankful for my glasses, which allow me to see clearly to read and drive and live.
I am thankful for confusion, which prompts me to seek out answers.
I am thankful for the internet, which helps me locate the answers I am seeking.
I am thankful for Huntington Bank, whose acquisition of Sky Bank spurred me to seek a new job.
I am thankful for my friends, who are understanding and supportive.
I am thankful for my bed, which is much more comfortable than an air mattress or a sleeping bag.
I am thankful for my family, who reminds me who I am and where I came from.
I am thankful for Riverview Elementary, whose Gifted program first developed my interest in computers.
I am thankful for Mary (Bindis) Franzosa, who introduced me to my husband nearly 12 years ago.
I am thankful for readers who leave comments, who assure me that I am relevant and interesting.

the ongoing saga of my job 3 Comments

New Job, Week One

The first half of the week was spectacular. Getting to know a new job, new location, new people, new boss, new responsibilities. Realizing that this gig fits me like a glove. Or it will.

The second half of the week was filled with insecurity and frustration. Me and the help files and the books and the tutorials. I now know that there’s a LOT that I don’t know. Plus, most of the people I’ve met in my department seem on the surface to be stressed, self-absorbed and pessimistic in general. And overly absorbed in football. Today, I was starting to doubt whether I’d made the right decision in taking this job, honestly.

About five minutes before quitting time, my supervisor visited my cube and asked how I my first week had gone. I was pretty honest, telling him that I felt like I was going around in circles, and that I realize now that there’s a lot that I don’t know. He seemed to appreciate that, and told me that he has no expectations of me right now. I am to be a sponge, in his words. I mentioned that I have lots of questions, but feel uncomfortable interrupting other people’s work to ask them, and he said that we’d make time early next week to sit down and discuss things. He also confirmed that, yes, this is only the second company I’ve worked for, and he affirmed that I’d come out the other side with a working knowledge of how the company and the data warehouse applications work.

That affirmation, while supportive, was also telling. The one person who can train me is on maternity leave, but I have the impression that he expects me to be up to speed on my own by the time she gets back.

This is daunting. Fun and new, yes, but still daunting.

spirituality

No Preferences

“The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences,” wrote the Third Ancestor, a.k.a. the Third Zen Patriarch of China (d. 606 AD), in a poem commonly known as The First Zen Poem. We discussed the verse at our Zen meeting last night. It’s not saying that you shouldn’t give a shit about anything; rather, it’s suggesting that a fuller experience is possible if you don’t prefer one outcome to another. As I understand it, anyway.

For example: today at work, I really didn’t get much accomplished. My boss wants me to start on a test project, and I can barely grasp the first step of the process. Today was spent flailing about in an application with no one to help me: no helpful intern (who attends class Tuesdays and Thursdays), and no experienced mentor (who is on maternity leave).

My first inclination is to think that I had a shitty day. Why? Because I experienced frustration at not understanding, and because I got very little accomplished.

Still, why? Because I prefer to have a measurable and substantial work completed. Because I prefer to understand and be productive. If I allow myself to appreciate the frustration and the very basic learning experience as much as I would have appreciated a massively productive and enlightening work day, then the day becomes less shitty in retrospect.

One thing I can’t let go of my preference for — or, rather, my aversion? Being tired. There’s still stuff I need to do tonight before bed (like cleaning up for Saturday’s “Diana’s New Job Party,” which may actually be relatively well-attended), and there are things I didn’t even get to (like burning CDs for the sangha), and I don’t like it. I get anxious and grumpy and irritable when I’m tired (who doesn’t?), and I feel like I have to continue to be productive when I should just freaking go to bed already, and damn the consequences.

*sigh*

Off to clean the dining room table, and straighten and dust the living room before I crash out.