ruminations 4 Comments

I Miss That.

Time was when my Mom and I would go visit my Aunt Sammie, cousin Michael and Memaw every Sunday after church. We didn’t always enjoy or appreciate the visits, but it just seemed like the thing you do on Sundays: go to visit family, eat the lunch they’ve prepared for you, listen to them complain or just talk, then politely excuse yourself to go home and get out of your Sunday clothes.

Thirteen years later, Mom lives with my step-Gary in Texas, Sammie and Michael live in Carolina, and Memaw’s three years gone now. And I don’t even go to church anymore.

Even though I’m all connected with the world and with my faraway friends via the magic of the internet, I feel isolated from my family. I don’t understand how we were once so interdependent and loving and familiar, and now we’re so far apart, both geographically and emotionally. I just don’t get it.

randomness 2 Comments

Low-Key Evening

Aaron’s off at a Frank Black show in Cleveland with Kris and Kris this evening. I opted not to go for several reasons, not the least of which being that I have to work tomorrow. Instead, I ended up throwing together a (half-assed) Halloween podcast, which frees up tomorrow night for my annual Halloween genealogy devotional.

The time change seems to be catching up with me tonight, too. It’s not even 10pm yet, and already I’m feeling like it’s time to wash the dishes and go to bed. Yesterday’s leaf-raking extravaganza has well and truly taken hold, as well, so my back and arms are hella sore and stiff, which is also helping to edge me toward bed.

Good thing I didn’t end up going to the show — I’d be turning into a pumpkin barely halfway through, and putting a damper on everyone’s good time.

weight loss 4 Comments

Patting Myself on the Back

I’ve kept track of my weight in Excel ever since December of 2002. Yep, I’m in it for the long haul.

It does me good sometimes to remember how far I’ve come, and how good I’ve managed to stay, for the most part. I lost fifty, gained ten, and lost ten again.

Also: look where the big post-loss gains are. Christmas 2004 and Thanksgiving/Christmas 2005. Tell ya something? Tells me that I don’t work off that holiday hogging, and I let it get the best of me instead. I’m all for enjoying Christmas dinner with Aaron’s family, and even eating “evil” foods like stuffing and sweet potatoes and dessert (OMG sausage cake!). This year, though, I need to be all for ramping up the workouts the week afterward, too.

Just a quick pick-me-up pep talk, and a reminder that I don’t suck. Now I need to walk my talk.

randomness

New Weight Loss Program: Depression

Certain kinds of depression cause me to overeat. I just basically wear a path in the carpet between my chosen point of food consumption and the kitchen. Then I feel like an ass and get more depressed and eat more. Rinse and repeat.

Other kinds of depression cause me to not give a damn about eating, and to find that everything in life is basically a waste of my time. Had I discovered this interesting brand of depression back in high school, at least my perpetual depression would have had some practical purpose, or at least a more positive side-effect than weight GAIN.

As it is, I’m currently making some chicken salad because I know that today’s combined repast of a breakfast bar, an apple, a yogurt, and a string cheese will not get me through the evening. Eventually, if I don’t eat, something will snap, and I’ll find myself standing in front of a near-empty refrigerator, wondering what the hell happened.

pregnancy 3 Comments

Doctor’s Appointment

Visited the OB-GYN’s office today, for the first time since college. Don’t worry, I won’t give gory details — not that there are many gory details to give. Most of my time was spent waiting, either in the waiting room or in the examination room.

Let me say that I started out the day pretty stoked. I stepped on the scale, and it told me I weigh 201.5 lbs, which is continuing my downward trend, and is my lowest weight point since December 2004. When I got to the doctor’s office (over my lunch break) and the nurse was doing her pre-exam thing, the scale in the examination room also read 201. Rock! My scale’s not fubar!

Then, after a long several minutes of me chilling out on the examination table, the doctor came in.

One of the things I asked Dr. Okin was whether I should try to lose more weight before trying to conceive, or if I should just wait until after pregnancy to continue my weight loss. Predictably, she told me that a woman should be in her best physical shape before becoming pregnant. Sure, that makes sense. Then she continued to tell me things I already know: My BMI is 29, I should be around 21 to 23, and that means my ideal weight is around 160 lbs.

Right. So, considering the steady weight loss trend of .5667 pounds a week I’ve had since July (yes, I *do* have a weight-tracking Excel spreadsheet), and not discounting any lengthy plateaus, I should be in prime condition to conceive in… *does calculations* …April of 2008.

*sigh*

She must realize I’m not inclined to wait, though, because she prescribed me some prenatal vitamins.

(The entry continues in a rambling self-pitying fashion, should you care to read on…)
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