Pre-Thanksgiving Weigh-In

I kind of skipped my October weigh-in post, so I’ll do a pre-Thanksgiving weigh-in. I figure that my goal for the next month or so is to maintain, and not gain back any more than a couple of pounds. I’ve been holding steady within the same three-pound range for about three months now, so I have a good chance of continuing to maintain into the new year.

My Weight Watchers leader finally asked me a while back if I’d thought about a goal weight, since I’m now within my healthy range of 139-174. My goal right now is 160, although I’ll be OK with adjusting it if it’s warranted. First, though, I have to get there — or at least give it a good try. That’s about 11 more pounds to go.

NSVs:

  • Went down to the cafe with all intentions of buying a piece of cake. Came back upstairs with a yogurt parfait instead.
  • Discovered the joys of making my own yogurt parfaits, a la Roni Noone of Green Lite Bites. My current favorite concoction includes diced apple, maple syrup, crumbled graham crackers, and cinnamon.
  • Continually kept tracking, even when I went over my Points Target.
  • On multiple evenings, I saw that my Fitbit stair count was at 8 floors, so I walked down and up the basement stairs a couple of times before bed to get to my daily goal of 10 floors.
  • Stayed within my daily points target on a day when I went out to lunch with a co-worker! (The trick: I stayed away from the delicious but fatty lengua tacos. Tripe tacos are low-points and are just as delicious! To me, anyway.)
  • Got a coffee at Starbucks after my ortho appointment and passed up the pastries — even the Petite Vanilla Bean Scones, which are only 3 PPVs each.
  • Comment from a co-worker, when I was wearing my once-too-tight black turtleneck: “You’re looking thin today!”
  • IM from Sheryl: “you were walking w/nicole and i just see 2 skinny ass girls and i’m like huh i wonder if that’s nicole’s sister / i was like who’s that? huh must be with nicole / then you turned and i’m like oh shit xD”
  • My chiropractor once again commented that I’m “getting skinnier and skinnier!”

Non-scale failwhale:

  • I let the Jimmy John’s guy talk me into a sandwich that was very close to the sandwich I ordered, but which I didn’t realize had cheese and mayo on it. That was the beginning of a downward spiral that lasted for the rest of that week. I basically used it as an excuse to eat poorly — a return to all-or-nothing thinking.
  • Didn’t bring breakfast to work on a weigh-in day, as usual. Realizing that I’d see a gain that week, anyway, I hit up the vending machine for an 18-point cheese danish. That triggered another No Good Very Bad Day that totalled 75 points. Yes, seventy-five, and not even for a special holiday meal. (My daily target is 28.)

Every time I talk in a WW meeting about what tools I use to keep myself on track, whether it’s me being a giant data hoarder or just continuing to track on my off-days, somehow things get turned around and I get labeled as “brave” or “admirable” for going above and beyond. That makes me uncomfortable for many reasons. Mainly, I don’t want to come off like that. I don’t want people to think I’m bragging about how hardcore I am. I’m not. I struggle just as much as everyone else in the room. I’m just trying to share what’s been working for me.

I appreciate the respect of my fellow WW members (and friends and acquaintances and blog subscribers), and it amazes and baffles me that I’m an inspiration to others, but I’m just like you. Don’t think I’m not.

It’s Hard to be Thankful Sometimes

My average weekday: Snooze my alarm two or three times. Wake up late. Get ready for work. Get Connor ready for daycare. Gather our stuff. Drive Connor to daycare and drop him off. Drive myself to work and get caught in traffic. Show up embarrassingly late. Work — mostly alone in my cube. Work out. Eat lunch. Work some more. Drive to daycare to pick up Connor. Drive home. See Aaron for five minutes before he leaves for work.* Make dinner while Connor plays on my iPhone. Eat dinner. Watch TV with Connor for 45 minutes. Bathe Connor and get him to bed (usually with much resistance and stalling on his part). Load/unload dishwasher and try to be otherwise productive before my brain shuts down. Go upstairs, get ready for bed, lay out clothes for the next day, read in bed. Lights out later than intended.

Rinse and repeat.

According to my Reporter App, I spend most of my time (when I’m not alone) with my three-year-old. I spend half that much time with my husband, and half again with my work friend, Nicole. I spend more time with my cat than I do with any non-work friends.

Before bed every night, I record one thing that made me happy that day. Of the different things I have listed, 28% involve my interactions with Connor, 17% involve my interactions with friends and co-workers, 13% involve my interactions with my husband, 11% involve me having alone time, and another 11% involve food (either making it or eating it). (Other scattered things comprise the remaining 33%, like weight loss/fitness and work-related atta-girls.)

Many of the things that make me happiest seem to be the most elusive — and the most simple. Getting things accomplished. Having some quality time with family and friends. Being social.

I had to call a temporary boycott on social media this past week because I saw so many other people getting to enjoy the things I like — and instead of being happy for them, I got enragedly jealous. How dare you have someone to watch your child while you go to a work holiday party? How dare you have friends over to your house? How dare you do the things I wish I could do?

‘Tis the season to force oneself to take a step back and recognize all the good things in one’s life, though, instead of focusing on all the things that are missing.

Some of the simpler and more common things that have made me happy (i.e. for which I am thankful):

  • Hugs
  • Date night
  • Making dinner
  • Yoga class

My mantra for this year was Engender Happiness in Yourself and Others.

I’m not sure how successful I’ve been, but I can’t say I haven’t tried. I’ve become more aware of my happiness level, what helps me to be happy, and what prevents me from being happy. Now the final step is to consciously choose to be happy instead of being a miserable fuck.

 

*See Aaron for five minutes before he goes to work. Unless he has to go to work early, like he does during the Christmas season, in which case I don’t get to see him at all most days.