ruminations, writing Leave a comment

The Perils of a Personal Blog

I’ve been abstaining from Twitter this week and documenting my reactions to not having an instantaneous outlet. Long story short, I’ve realized how passive-aggressive or narcissistic I must seem with nearly every post. Jerkwad on the highway honked at me; got stood up for lunch; gained 0.4 pounds this week.

But isn’t that my whole blog, too? Look at me! This is my life! This is my son, my yard, my house, my family. This is what I do, who I am, how I spend my time.

Whenever I sit down to write a blog post lately, my husband asks whether it’s about my braces, my gardens, my weight, or our son. That’s pretty much what I blog about lately, because that’s what I do.

I guess I just need to remember that my blog is for future me. If I stopped blogging altogether, I’d be pissed at myself for losing that searchable record of what happened when. When was Connor potty trained? How long did I fight with these gardens before they became my own? When did I reach my goal weight? If I stop blogging, I lose the answers to these questions.

I don’t know. It still seems petty on some level.

parenthood, pregnancy Leave a comment

Unsolicited New-Mom Advice

I’ve had more than one occasion where a friend or acquaintance has announced her mom-to-be status, and has welcomed any advice I might have. When I was a new mom-to-be, I found a lot of that sort of advice that was given to me to be invaluable — especially the things that might have taken me a while to work out for myself.

I had contemplated just emailing this to the person I’m directing the advice to this time around, but then I thought, why not just put it out there for anyone who might find it useful? Plus, I can direct other new moms to it in years to come, when my memories of those early months fade with time (which I never thought would happen, but it’s starting already).

First, a bit of a disclaimer, or sort of non-specific meta-advice:

No one’s child is exactly like yours. You can read up on what to expect, you can listen to all the advice everyone gives you, you can try to internalize it as well as you can — but at the end of the day, your child is a unique snowflake who may or may not love to be swaddled, or who may or may not care about being too hot or too cold, or who may or may not fall asleep during car rides.

Corollary to the above: Take any blanket statements about parenting with a grain of salt. Yes, including what I have to say. You as a parent will learn what works for you and your child — breastmilk or formula, crib or bassinet or co-sleeper, cry-it-out or patience-stretching or no sleep training at all — and others have very little right to be judgmental of your parenting decisions (especially without knowing your situation).

Now, on to the more specific stuff.  Continue reading →