dianaschnuth

I was just chilling between Connor’s karate class and my Krav class, sitting outside at the picnic tables while he played with the other kids.

Nothing really to say… except all the things I still have in my head that I haven’t blogged. I gave up on Garden Bloggers’ Bloom Day for the summer because I couldn’t bring myself to blog about anything else, knowing that there’s something else I “should” be posting. Hopefully that will free me up mentally to write about the stuff that really matters, like… well, like me and Connor going to visit my Mom for a long weekend, or like my BFF Amy coming to visit for the day.

Mr. Turner came outside and chatted everyone up while the teenaged black belts taught the little kids’ class inside. I opted not to tickety-tap a stream-of-consciousness blog entry in favor of actually being social.

The adult class was fun, but definitely got me out of my comfort zone — especially pairing up with Mr. Turner for a couple of drills and exercises. Having the teacher show you how to do a proper bar choke — on HIM — is a little weird. So is boxing the teacher, although that’s more frustrating than weird.

Funny how frustrating can also equal helpful. I’d miss blocking a jab, and he’d remind me of the drills we did earlier in class. I’d get mad at myself and start to let loose, and he’d remind me to only punch as hard as I want to be punched.

After class, I came to him with a technical question about blocking those jabs, and he spent a few minutes going over it with me until I had that “a-ha” moment. Then we chatted a while about how to get the most out of class: asking my training partners to step up their game if necessary, giving tips and help to others, making sure I get the most out of each interaction. Getting out of my comfort zone.

“That’s the most fun part,” I told him, “but also the scariest. That’s why I’m here, though.”

That earned me a huge grin and a big, sweaty hug from Mr. Turner.

I needed that.

I found the following in my Drafts folder from this past January:

I’ve been a student of Krav Maga since July 2019, six months after my son started karate. I’ve attended class consistently for a year and a half, even signing on to Zoom classes during the pandemic.

I’m much more flexible than I was at the beginning, especially in the hips — I’m this close to doing the side splits, and the last time I could do the splits was in ballet class when I was seven. From a self-defense perspective, I feel like I’m more likely to react appropriately to a physical threat than I was, considering that my fight-flight-freeze instinct used to be entirely to freeze.

I’ve been showing up, putting in the work a couple times a week, and paying for me and my son’s class memberships and gear purchases and belt testing fees. I’ve been having fun and learning stuff and getting tired and sweaty. I feel like this is all worthwhile.

But I don’t feel like I should be a brown belt.