Journaling and such

I had an interesting idea today. I had brought my sketch journal to work instead of a book to keep me occupied during breaks and lunch, so I ended up writing a journal entry. And I thought, why shouldn’t I scan in some of my random journal pages that I have in various notebooks, in addition to some of the more memorable journal entries from my “real” journals in the past? So, as my first entry, non-interesting though it may be, I offer to you May 7, 2004.

I also had the most fascinating conversation with a co-worker today. I don’t think anyone from work reads my LJ, so I think it’s safe to talk about it—I won’t be “outing” Mike as a non-Christian, which, yes, would be a bad thing in bible-belt BG.

Wow, I just stole my own thunder. How lame is that?

Anyway, in our weekly department meeting, I mentioned that I’d be heading out to the Waterville Community Garage Sale this weekend. Now, Mike tends to come down to my cube and talk to me, anyway, since he noticed that Deb and I are so isolated, being in a different room than the rest of the department. (Given the cliqueishness of some people, though, we prefer it that way.) But today, he came down to ask about the garage sale. Turns out that he likes to thrift, too, which is cool. We got talking about what we look for, and I found out he’s a Medieval buff, collects Renaissance-related stuff and cast iron and things like that.

So, he drifted back to his own cube in the other room, and after lunch I got an e-mail from him. Funny shit—all sorts of whacked out pictures from around the net. I plan to post them on my page eventually. After that, he stopped past my cube again to ask what I thought of those pictures, and just to say hi before he went off to clock out for his own lunch.

And we ended up talking for an hour.

The conversation ranged from my soy candles to essential oils to herbs… then we got into a discussion about what he’d printed off to read during lunch: some Norse mythology, an epic poem about Odin. From which point we got talking about cultural history and mythology, which morphed into religion, of course. We were kind of feeling each other out (so to speak) about how far to go with the conversation. He’d mention symbols and runes and how often they’re misused, so I’d mention people’s misconceptions of the five-pointed star and its various meanings, so he’d mention how those meanings were explained to him, and so on. Eventually we both discovered that we consider ourselves non-Christians, but are kind of “in the closet” about it publicly, due to everyone’s misconceptions of paganism. That wasn’t all we talked about, though—we also discussed the Ren Fests and SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) and Goth Night at Uptown and “dabblers” in Wicca and other poseurs in the counterculture. Anyway, I told him I’d be up for a double-date to one of the Ren Fests this summer.

Just to clarify, I don’t consider myself an all-out Pagan or Wiccan or what have you. I don’t believe in The Great Horned God as an actual entity whom I could call to assist me, no more than I believe that the Judeo-Christian God (whose name I do still have enough respect for not to put into writing) actually follows our daily lives. That doesn’t mean I don’t believe that a god may have had a hand in creating our world/universe, or that I don’t believe in an afterlife of some sort. Honestly, I’m just not sure, and I won’t be until I die. At any rate, just the fact that I no longer believe that Jesus was the Son of God would be enough to ostracize me from many circles.

In other news, I relocated the credit card that was lost on my desk at home, and managed to order Mom a Mother’s Day present. (Mom, I hope you haven’t found my LJ yet… but if you have, Happy Mother’s Day!)

P.S. – If you haven’t checked out my webpage lately, I’ve got some new sketches up. The U-Haul rut photos are also posted in the Photos section, if you haven’t looked at those yet. Good stuff.

Tonite There’s Gonna Be A Jailbreak…

Remember Loni from Lockbox, the nice God-loving woman who’s my Mom’s age (almost exactly) and has been trying to get a new job for a couple years now? Well, she finally made a jailbreak, and will be working in Deposit Support, which is my department. Not Quality Control, our… sub-department, I guess, but still in the same realm. She’s supposed to be moving to her new job in two weeks or less.

Having been there, wanting to leave the crazy hours and moderate stress of Lockbox, I feel so happy for her. She’s getting ready to move to an 8-to-5, ultra-low-stress position, which may not pay her more money but will still be infinitely worth it.

We’re all going to lunch tomorrow—current employees of Lockbox, and former (myself included). It’ll be fun to get together with everyone again… and Loni and I will try not to rub it in how much better off we are (or will be).

Bye Bye, Blue…

Step one of the website overhaul is accomplished: I have changed the color palette for the entire damn site. It doesn’t have as much contrast as the last version, and I may have to do something about that. The dynamic contrast was what kept the site visually interesting for me, despite some sub-par header graphics from time to time, and I’ll miss that if I don’t re-implement it somehow.

My Mom always used to say to me, before I would go out with my friends, “Just remember who you are and where you come from.” At the time, it was a pleasantly sappy way for Mom to remind me to be good, and I took it as such. Remember, people know you’re a Mormon, and are watching you, so don’t mess up. That sort of thing. But recently, I find I’ve forgotten Mom’s advice (which, incidentally, was given to her as a youth by Memaw). I frequently forget who I am: web designer, amateur photographer, et cetera, and how I got to be where (and who) I am today. It’s not until I get into conversations with people who don’t know who I really am that I remind myself.

There’s a guy at work, name’s Mike, newest member of our department (about a month newer than me, though he’s worked for Sky longer). I think some people think him simplistic or goofy or whatnot, but I find him pleasant and honest and funny and forthright, which is refreshing in the corporate environment. He’s maybe a couple few years younger than me, I’d guess. Anyway, we always end up taking our morning break at the same time: around 9:45am, I’ll go into the break room to read whatever book I’ve brought with me that day—and shortly thereafter, Mike will come in to buy his can of Mountain Dew. We don’t plan it that way, and it doesn’t always coincide like that… but when it does, Mike’s quite the talker. 🙂

Today, through a series of random topic changes, we managed to start talking about my time at BGSU. I’d mentioned that I had supervisory experience, but that I was no good at disciplining employees (Sheryl… ahem). He asked about my job there, and I explained how I moved up through the ranks of RCC, from peon to supervisor, but had to leave when I graduated. Mike was surprized and amused that I knew more about computers than I’d let on. (When at Sky did I have the opportunity to flaunt my computer skills, I wonder?) He wanted to know why I never tried to get into the techie programming section of Sky, and I had to explain that I’m more of a designer than a programmer. I ticked off the media qualifications I got with my VCT degree: web design, photography, multimedia, video, print…

And I remembered who I was and where I came from. And I was ashamed that I had forgotten.

Neener, neener, neener…

Well, I did really well getting to work on time for the past two weeks. Then, yesterday and today, I came in at ten minutes after eight. And, of course, when my boss brought me into his office to give me a couple projects to do, he called me on it. He tried to be “friendly” about it, asking if there was something that was holding me up in the mornings, maybe dropping someone off somewhere or something… but no, it’s just me being late. *sigh* Finally he said that, if necessary, he would look up the procedure for giving verbal and written warnings, but that he didn’t want to go there. He’d rather just keep it a friendly reminder. I agree wholeheartedly.

That really put me in kind of a pissy mood all day. Matter of fact, it kind of felt like High School, to tell the truth, and it kind of gave me a new perspective on my recurrent attitude problem when I realized that. I felt kind of put-upon, like he knew that extra five minutes wasn’t a big deal, and hadn’t I been doing well for two freakin’ weeks straight? And hell, I see all sorts of salary people coming in at the same time I come in, so how is that fair? And on and on.

But, finally, I realized that I was feeling unreasonably oppressed. I mean, hell, who’s the one who’s coming in late? Me. All I need to do is get the fuck out of bed fifteen minutes earlier, and I’ll be just fine. I think I get feeling like that when I know it’s my fault, and I know I could have done something simple to remedy the situation, but I didn’t because I was a lazy-ass, and I resent myself for it, but I don’t want to admit it, so I turn the resentment outward.

Or maybe I’m just overanalyzing. I’ve been known to do that.

So, I’m just going to set myself a goal to a.) not be late for the rest of the week, and b.) clock in before 8:00am at least once next week. We’ll see. I’m going to have to get up much, much earlier when we live in Toledo and I actually have a commute, so I’d better get used to it.

In other news, I faxed a 28-page monstrosity to John from NOIC, containing all our little worksheets, landlord info, W2’s, bank statements, and pay stubs. Aaron, meanwhile, finished calling around and comparing prices for homeowner’s insurance, and ended up going with Allstate. Incidentally, no one seems able to beat our auto insurance with Progressive, since most of the insurance places wanted to try to give us a deal on both. Anyway, we’re pretty much set on the house thing, and just need to wait for everyone else to do their jobs and schedule a final date for the closing.

I’m also beginning to liquidate all the crap I’ve been meaning to eBay for a while. Check it.

Edit: I found the notes I’d scribbled at work about my plight, and here they are, unedited and without grammatical additions:

Start times were fine last week—late last 2 days. Got called on it—hate it, but probably good for me. Feel all high-school again, resentful

Oh, yeah, and my computer won’t cooperate.

All this has really put me in a pissy mood and unfortunately, since I get pissy so seldom, I tend to almost revel in it. Part of me doesn’t want to shake it.

I’m beginning to remember why H.S. [High School] was such a big deal. Little things grow in your brain over the course of the day and make you think too much.

Thanks! I’m listed!

Unfortunately, it didn’t occur to me that the link would a.) only link to blog.htm, and b.) be titled with the lame-o title I gave the page, "ye blogs!" Ah, well, I’ve got a link off of Bob’s blog. And I’ve changed the title of this page to "dianaschnuth: ye blogs!"

Hey, random surfers? (I doubt I’ll get any hits, but hey.) You should really check out the full iFramed site — you may currently be missing some vital navigation and design elements. 🙂

I’ve got a lot of random shit to unload again. You should see all the little scraps of paper with snippets of blog ideas scattered on my desk.

I told Deb, my co-worker, that I’d finished a website for selling my soy candles. She’d seen and smelled one of the Chocolate Java Bean candles I’d made, and I’d told her how fragrant it was while burning — a little three-ounce candle filled my whole living room. So, when I told her I was selling them online, she asked how much I was asking. When I told her about five bucks, she said she might be interested in buying one of those. I ended up showing her my webpage (which was the whole reason I told her in the first place: to get some feedback), and she browsed my list of fragrances, asking how certain things smelled. She was also amazed at the copy I wrote, describing my candles. "Enjoy the rich, sweet fragrance of amaretto," and crap like that.

When she found out I had designed the entire page myself, she was duly impressed, and wanted to see everything else I’d put online. So, I figured, WTF, and I surfed off my directory page, showing her all the stuff I’ve got online. It really surprized me how excited she was to see my work. It was like I was some sort of hero or miracle worker. Seriously! She even told me how cool it was to know someone who actually could do all this.

I recall telling her, "This is what I do. I work at Sky to make money, but this is what I do." And it made me feel good to say that and mean it. For once, I really felt like a Web Designer, instead of a hack Photoshop twiddler who makes web pages, or an amateur photographer who puts stuff on the web, or any number of other jacks-of-all-media I’ve felt like lately.

Moving on with more randomness from work… One of the ladies who works in the same room with me got in a car accident last week. She’s OK, but since the airbags deployed, the car is considered totaled. That’s not the best part, though. The best part is that it’s her fault, because she took her eyes off the road to answer her cellphone. A truck had made a right turn to pull in front of her, and was about to make an immediate left, and due to her distraction, she only had time to slam on the brakes and swerve into the ditch. Now everyone she knows is forcing her to use a hands-free headset when she drives. 🙂

Amusing stuff I find while researching clients’ bank accounts for my work: There’s a place in each account where the teller can post notes or warnings on an account, for multiple signers or legal issues or whatnot. One I came across said, "customer has medical condition that may cause mood swings." Wow.

More about my co-workers: Deb’s daughter (one of four children) is in the first grade, and is having trouble with her reading. Turns out that she can write and recognize certain words, but doesn’t know all her letters. The kid’s learning backwards somehow, learning shapes of words by rote without knowing the letters that make them. How bizarre. I don’t remember learning how to read, so I can’t even comprehend that. Once Aaron and I have kids, we’ll have to read to them constantly like our mothers read to us, so our kids will learn to read like we did. 🙂

I’ve got plenty more randomness to report, but I’ll save some for later.