dianaschnuth

I found this post sitting in my Drafts folder from over a year ago. Although it’s not quite finished, it’s still relevant, so I’m posting it the way I found it.

When my therapist asked me last week how I was doing, my answer was, “Meh.”

Then she proceeded to solidify a concept I’d been toying with for some time: the idea of maintenance vs. a mood boost.

She asked me when was the last time I did something that made me happy… and I didn’t have an answer right away. I had answers to most of her other self-care questions: my last workout was last Thursday, for example.

When I gave it some thought, though, the thing that had most recently made me happy was walking in the local Fall Festival parade with my karate dojo.

But only two days after that boost, I learned that a co-worker of mine had died unexpectedly in his sleep. He was three weeks younger than me, so it hit especially hard — people younger than me aren’t supposed to die of natural causes, much less pass in their sleep. It got me thinking about relationships, and mortality, and all the things I take for granted (including waking up in the morning).

My therapist reminded me that the profound losses and hardships of others doesn’t invalidate the day-to-day experiences in my own life, and made sure that I wasn’t minimizing my own emotions and reactions. That’s hard, though — with this reminder of our mortality, knowing that Greg’s world now has to go on without him, how can I continue to feel put out that I don’t have time for planting bulbs because the rain won’t quit and I have to make my son’s halloween costume? #firstworldproblems